Buff 20-something black guy: Yeah, she was that one I was going out with last summer.
Tall 30-something black guy: So what happened?
Buff younger black guy: She got fat! In like two weeks! And also, she was cheating on me: she never told me she hadn't broken up with her boyfriend at the time!
–Planet Sushi, Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Chick on cell: Are you sure this is a sex trip and not a "meet-my-parents" trip?
–14th St
Overheard by: Argopelter
Laughing woman on cell: I'm going to be so busy when I get back! My week of relaxation is just going to be ruined by a hurricane.
–Starbucks, Park Ave South & 29th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy to three hot girls carrying luggage: Oh, hello, ladies. I also travel! What a coincidence! (girls walk away laughing) You can run! I will find you! It's only a matter of time!
–Financial District
Black woman on phone: Ya, man, I just got back from Miami. Shit, I'm still jet lagged!
–Wendy's, Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oh really?
Blonde girl on plane to another: I figured out on this trip that if you pack your lightest clothes on the bottom of your suitcase it will weigh less! Coming in, my suitcase weighed 54 pounds, and going home it only weighed 46! (second blonde nods knowingly)
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Meagan O.
Hobo: Hey girls, could you spare some change? Please? It's for my Hawaii fund! I'm gonna wear a bikini and dance the hula. And fuck it, I'm freezing my butt off!
–University Place & 10th St
Overheard by: queenofscots
Hispanic woman: Thank god for big titties!
Older black woman: (mumbles)
Hispanic woman: Shit. (pause) I know, right? They help!
–4 Train
Overheard by: ReppinDa215
Jersey man, describing doughnuts to his daughter: And this one has so much chocolate…so much chocolate it will turn your skin brown!
Brown-skinned employee: Um, that's not true.
Jersey man: Look at this guy! He used to be Swedish!
–The Doughnut Plant
Black woman security guard: My coworker smoked half a cigarette and tossed it, but before it hit the ground some guy grabbed it and started smoking it.
Black guy: That shit nasty!
Black woman security guard: Sheeeit, cigarettes are $10 a pack!! That's a bag of weed, yo!
–Au Bon Pain, 35th &7th
Overheard by: Darkua
Female black security guard to male black security guard: So you got two kids that you know of…
–MoMa
Security agent: You are now entering the metal detector area, so those of you with wooden cell phones should feel free to keep those in your pockets.
–JFK
Overheard by: Jason
Security guard to teens blocking entrance: Hmm, just what I need at 9 am, a motherfucking school group.
–Paley's Museum of Radio and Television
Overheard by: scarface
Security guard on cell: Why isn't your hand on your butt?
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Lord Almighty
Library security guard: Welcome to the library, where your wildest dreams come true.
–St. John's University
Large black woman showing pictures on her phone: Now tell me if that ain't Daffy duck gettin' hisself a blowjob!
Young hipster #1: It definitely is!
Large black woman: Now what do y'all think this is?
Young hipster #2: I can't really tell…
Large black woman: It's a dick!
–73rd St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Tim Jones
Big black guy selling CDs: Hey, pretty lady…you like black people?
Girl: No.
Black guy: That's so cold.
Girl's friend, whispering loudly: Did you just say no? He's going to shoot you.
–Herald Square
Overheard by: i dont like them either
Teen on cell: Man, it's really hard to be bi-curious around gay guys you don't like.
–L Train
Older gay man: Oh, it must be wonderful to be bisexual! I mean, bilingual.
–69th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ana
Girl to friend: My boyfriend is bi. I told him I didn't want him making out with other girls. Other boys are fine, because they don't kiss on the mouth as much.
–Europa Cafe, 53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Sam
Large black man on cell: Yeah, you know, baby, this is the city. Eeeeverybody's bisexual!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Modern Guilt
Asian lady in geisha costume, passing out fliers: Lunch specials, grand opening, fresh sushi!
Black dude: Excuse me, but me and my friend had a bet…are you dressed like girls from the movie Memoirs of Engagement?
–53rd & Lexington
Overheard by: An
