Hobo: You white, right?
Hipster: Uh, yeah.
Hobo: I’m the 10 thousand-foot-tall sequoia tree, and you’re a 10 thousand-year-old white man!
–6 train
Hobo: You white, right?
Hipster: Uh, yeah.
Hobo: I’m the 10 thousand-foot-tall sequoia tree, and you’re a 10 thousand-year-old white man!
–6 train
Younger guy: She was a bit fatter than I expected.
Older guy: Well, you still did the deed though?
Younger guy: Yes, of course I did. I had the beer goggles on to protect me but it was hard to keep the cattle prod charged.
Older guy: Well, it’s not the pussy’s fault.
–42nd & Avenue of the Americas
Headline by: chubba
Runners-Up:
· “Also, Her Tail Kept Getting in the Way” – sam
· “I Learned a Lot That Summer on the Ranch…” – Mark
· “If Only I Had My +5 Armor with +2 Strength.” – Bevan
· “It’s the Whale Attached to It” – Bizzznatch
· “They Always Blame the Cat, Never the Dog…” – Steve Gotz
Young lady: Stupid people have more fun!
–Chrystie & Housten
Overheard by: Probably True…
Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Would the street be safer?
Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit.
–Duane Reade
Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid.
–Inwood
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect!
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Katface
Teen boy #1: Nah, nigga, she can’t be Spanish. She too skinny.
Teen boy #2: She’s Spanish, yo.
Teen boy #1: I tell you, she ain’t from Spain. She’s from Europe. She has a Euro-sounding name.
Teen boy #2: Maybe she’s Mexican.
Teen boy #1: Yeah, she could be Mexican.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Heather
Man: So, you’re *finally* wearing green for Saint Patrick’s Day.
Woman: I wore a green dress on Saint Patrick’s Day. I’m half Irish and half German.
Man: Oh, we’re all Mongols, aren’t we?
–William & Ann
Guy: I have to say, one nice thing about living here is that the winters are so cold that a lot of the homeless freeze to death. So, you know, there's a lot less of them.
Girl: Dude, it's “fewer”. Not “less”.
–17th & 9th
Overheard by: Mike
Bisexual guy: They say a boner is the body's natural thumbs up.
Transexual guy: Wait a minute.
–Harlem
Dude, walking up to security desk in emergency room: Hi. It feels like my balls are about to fall off.
–St. Lukes Roosevelt Hospital
Overheard by: Kate Melvin
Stoner chick: The girls are all hairy balls, and the photos look like hairy balls, and they wear hairy ball sacks, but Tyra is the biggest hairy ball of them all.
–7 train
Overheard by: bronwyn
Out-of-place guido: I ain’t wearing nothin’ that touches my balls to my asshole!
–8th Ave
Overheard by: finds it comforting
Teenage boy to friends, about a movie: Yooo, it’s like a chick flick with balls!!! You know, like a guy’s chick flick!!!"
–E 85th St & 3rd Ave
Guy: I use Burt’s bees for my balls.
–Broadway & W 4th
Overheard by: Jake R
Guy #1 to guy #2: I really think you’d feel a lot better if you felt my balls.
–6th Ave & Bleecker
Older woman: Smoking is a sin!
Young pretty girl, looking perturbed: Yeah? (takes a long drag) So is being ugly.
–54th & 3rd
Overheard by: LeatherJacket
Hawker lady: Read all about it! AM New York! Read all about it — AM New York dot com!
Hawker guy, quietly to passersby: Don’t read that shit. They make shit up. Here, have a Metro.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: go rangers!
