Guy: I have to say, one nice thing about living here is that the winters are so cold that a lot of the homeless freeze to death. So, you know, there's a lot less of them.
Girl: Dude, it's “fewer”. Not “less”.
–17th & 9th
Overheard by: Mike
Guy: I have to say, one nice thing about living here is that the winters are so cold that a lot of the homeless freeze to death. So, you know, there's a lot less of them.
Girl: Dude, it's “fewer”. Not “less”.
–17th & 9th
Overheard by: Mike
Bisexual guy: They say a boner is the body's natural thumbs up.
Transexual guy: Wait a minute.
–Harlem
Dude, walking up to security desk in emergency room: Hi. It feels like my balls are about to fall off.
–St. Lukes Roosevelt Hospital
Overheard by: Kate Melvin
Stoner chick: The girls are all hairy balls, and the photos look like hairy balls, and they wear hairy ball sacks, but Tyra is the biggest hairy ball of them all.
–7 train
Overheard by: bronwyn
Out-of-place guido: I ain’t wearing nothin’ that touches my balls to my asshole!
–8th Ave
Overheard by: finds it comforting
Teenage boy to friends, about a movie: Yooo, it’s like a chick flick with balls!!! You know, like a guy’s chick flick!!!"
–E 85th St & 3rd Ave
Guy: I use Burt’s bees for my balls.
–Broadway & W 4th
Overheard by: Jake R
Guy #1 to guy #2: I really think you’d feel a lot better if you felt my balls.
–6th Ave & Bleecker
Older woman: Smoking is a sin!
Young pretty girl, looking perturbed: Yeah? (takes a long drag) So is being ugly.
–54th & 3rd
Overheard by: LeatherJacket
Hawker lady: Read all about it! AM New York! Read all about it — AM New York dot com!
Hawker guy, quietly to passersby: Don’t read that shit. They make shit up. Here, have a Metro.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: go rangers!
50-something suit: In many ways I enjoyed his funeral reception more than his wedding reception.
–PATH
Overheard by: Joe H.
Girl on cell: He died. They found his body. I don't know, somewhere in the Bronx. He was strangled or some shit. Yeah, he died from it. Oh shit, that's why I forgot to send you the invitation for the whatchacallit, the funeral.
–Rivington & Attorney
Overheard by: I wasn't invited either
Gay guy to friend: So I told John I would go to his funeral just to spit in his face!
–West Bank Cafe
60-something woman to another: So I'm glad I didn't go to his fucking bitch sister's funeral. But now he's mad.
–Central Park
20-something guy on cell: Just 'cause I did meth with his daughter doesn't mean I'm going to go to his funeral!
–7th Ave Subway Entrance
Girl #1: He's a really great guy, and even if he can't help you, he's cute and has the most charming Irish accent…
Girl #2: Okay, but does he speak English?
–Hudson & Leonard
Latino middle school boy: Barack Obama’s gay!
Black middle school boy: No he ain’t! He’s black!
–F Train
Overheard by: West Coast Courtney
Guy #1: I used to know the price of a bag of weed. Now I know the price of a pound of New Zealand apples.
Guy #2: Yeah, I know. I used to know the price of a lap dance from a good stripper. Now I know the price of an engagement ring.
Guy #1: What happened to you?
–33rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Todd
Conductor to a group of passengers: You should flip the seats back, this is going to be a crowded train.
Passenger #1: Well, what if we lied down and pretended to be corpses or something? People wouldn’t take our seats then.
Conductor: No, people would just come and sit on you.
Passenger #2: But what if we were just like “We’re not dead yet!”?
Conductor: Well, they’d still sit on you, so you probably would be dead soon.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: alison
