Girl: It's the one thing my father taught me: always be faster than your slowest friend.
Guy: Was your father a gazelle?
–12th St & Broadway
Girl: It's the one thing my father taught me: always be faster than your slowest friend.
Guy: Was your father a gazelle?
–12th St & Broadway
Skinny chick #1: Shut up, bitch! I can totally see your rib cage.
Skinny chick #2: Well, that's only because I have a skinny rib cage!
–Plumm Bar, West Village
Overheard by: everyone wants to be fat, but not really
Girl to guy on packed train: I'm a teacher.
Guy: (silence)
Girl: No, I don't drink a lot.
Guy: (silence)
Girl: I get high every weekend as soon as I get away from the little monsters. There's no drug testing because of the teachers union.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Joshua
Girl: Dave, you got hit by a car, so I cannot trust you crossing the street.
Dave: I ran into the street.
–Graham & Jackson, Williamsburg
Girl to friend: He's Indian! How can he be homeless?
–Union Square
Crazy Asian lady: I think everyone should experience jail and being homeless at least twice in life, so I need to go to jail again.
–Pinkberry, 32nd St
Suit, screaming: Why the fuck did I go to school? Look at these homeless people. They have a perfect life. Free samples at every corner. Apple Store is open 24/7, which means good shelter. Gahh!
–Union Square
Overheard by: hespeakstruth
Flamboyantly elegant gay guy to female friend: Would you rather lick this entire subway platform or have a homeless woman eat your pussy?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Katie
Guy on phone on Halloween night: So I realize it's last minute, but we need a fourth ghostbuster… and you are black.
–3rd Ave
Overheard by: Supertaint
Teenage girl to group of friends: Ya know, I used to think that John Lennon and John Legend were the same person. Every time I saw John Legend I thought, "damn, that's whack that John Lennon would walk around in black face!"
–M116 Bus, East Harlem
Overheard by: NC
20-something black guy to 20-something white girl: It's New Year's Eve, baby–have sex with a black man tonight! Have sex with a black man on New Year's Eve! (girl laughs, turns to look at him) Hey–it don't have to be me! It's New Year's Eve, have sex with a black man tonight!
–Suffolk & Delancey
Passenger, about ghetto kids who just got off train: Damn, they were like the black Jersey Shore!
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: kids these days
20-something girl to friend: I mean, my husband never asked me a direct question; so I never had to lie. He never said, "what were you doing today at 3 pm?" so I didn't ever have to respond,"screwing my new boyfriend in a Lower East Side apartment that we just rented."
–Max Cafe, Morningside Heights
Girl on cell: This time I'll respect the fact that you're engaged.
–St. Mark's & 1st
Overheard by: spead
White guy to Asian guy: But no sex, because she has a boyfriend… But head is okay…
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: GreenwichSandwich
Man shouting on cell: I'm a spic?! Well, you're a Jew! Besides, how was I supposed to know you had a husband?
–5th Ave & 90th St
30-something guy to another: So I asked this girl if she had any friends she could hook me up with and she responded with an emailed .pdf of names, pictures, phone numbers and a short blurb about each girl. The funniest part was this one girl, it said: "has boyfriend, will fuck other people."
–Union Square West
Overheard by: Brian
NYU professor: Stay away from drugs. (pause) Unless they're recreational and you know what you're doing!
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: liz
Tall kid: I don't like opiates in general. I'm for up, not down. At any rate, I have a fucking honky horn!
–Hunter College High School
Guy: I think I need to do more shrooms and acid.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Jordan
Girl to friend: You should try something natural, like shrooms.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Julie
Druggie clerk on cell: I mean: come on, man! That's my fucking apartment. If he wants to smoke weed or shoot up in my apartment, it's like, whatever. But crack? No. That's my fucking home. Seriously.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Emmy
20-something girl #1: Well, I know I'm smarter than you.
20-something girl #2: What? Why would you say that?
20-something girl #1: I've never paid to see Sex in the City 2.
–86th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: B
Girl: Oh, lets go to Prada!
Guy: I hate Prada! Prada means not eating for a month!
–Outside Prada Store, SoHo
