Guy #1: How many times did I come?
Guy #2: Well, you came really fast freshman year.
Girl: Uhh…are we just going to ignore that phrasing?
–East Village
Guy #1: How many times did I come?
Guy #2: Well, you came really fast freshman year.
Girl: Uhh…are we just going to ignore that phrasing?
–East Village
Flustered chick: Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I should never have done that to you, I'm so so sorry.
Astonished friend: Did you just apologize to your vagina?
–E 6th & Ave A
Overheard by: sam
Hobo: Spare some change?
Girl: Yeah…so you can go buy booze? Keep dreaming, bucko.
–Times Square
Guy: Touche.
Girl: Isn't that Japanese for “okay”?
–F Train
Girl: So what are you going to be for Halloween?
Guy: Retarded Hitler.
Girl: Oy vey!
–Hunter College
Girl #1: I used to drink Sprite all the time. Can't drink soda anymore.
Girl #2: So what do you drink now?
Girl #1: Sprite Zero.
–3rd & Lexington
Preppy guy: They say beggars can't be choosers, which makes sense, because we're choosers.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Annie
Red Table change collector guy: Help feed the homeless of New York! All it takes is a penny and a heart, you fucking assholes.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Bemused
Girl to friend: I thought of you the other day; I saw a homeless man's penis.
–Lucky Jack's, Orchard St.
Overheard by: Argopelter
Horny dude (after being rejected by a girl at the bar): I asked her if she wanted a drink and she gave me the look that I give to homeless people on the subway.
–79th & Broadway
Guy to girl sitting at a sidewalk cafe: I know, what is with her? She dresses like a homeless person. And not Mary-Kate Olsen homeless but I-think-I-saw-her-passed-out-in-an-alleyway-with-a-heroin-needle-sticking-out-of-her-arm- homeless.
–10th St & 2nd Ave
Girl, to guy who has just spat on floor: Don't do that! Homeless people sleep there!
–6 Train Station
Hipster guy: He's 65?
Hipster girl: I think so, yes, he's a photographer.
Hipster guy: I just don't understand what the attraction is.
Hipster girl: Well, it's not like I want to have some Hollywood romance, I just want to go over to his apartment and like eat a sandwich and play with his dog.
–Uptown A Train
Blond girl in leggings: Oh my god, and then I had to give my practitioner a list of all the things wrong with my body, which was like, everything!
Brunette girl in leggings: Yeah, totally, everything!
Blond girl in leggings: And I can't believe that I was dry heaving! I mean, I've been anxious before but I've never dry heaved!
Brunette girl in leggings: Yeah, but sometimes some anxiety is good! It motivates you!
Blond girl in leggings: Yeah, but I had to do fifty sun salutations before I felt okay again!
–Columbia University Campus
Overheard by: amalthya
Young earnest female: I don't care what that Palin bitch says… I mean, she is hot… like I would do her if her old man bailed on her.
Young bored female friend: You don't got no sense. She does frickin' moose, elk or animals and things.
Young earnest female: Men does sheep, why not women?
Young bored female friend: You ain't got the equipment, for one thing…
–Pelham Stop 3
Overheard by: Deder
