Old Jewish lady: How are you today?
Old Jewish man: If I sold ice cream, I’d be great. If I sold ice cream in Central Park, that would be perfect. But me? I sell chickens in Bedford.
–8th St & Bedford Ave
Old Jewish lady: How are you today?
Old Jewish man: If I sold ice cream, I’d be great. If I sold ice cream in Central Park, that would be perfect. But me? I sell chickens in Bedford.
–8th St & Bedford Ave
Good looking suit to lunch date: How about this–let's say that you and I are equally attractive. Now let's say that on any given day we each see 1,000 people of the opposite sex (a lot more, obviously, but that's a good number). You, as a woman, could sleep with approximately 850 of them–that 1,000 is discounted by the 100 who are gay (10%, as they say), and the 50 who are faithful to their wives/girlfriends. Now for me–I see 1,000 women, but 850 is way too high a number for me–maybe, if I'm lucky, I could find a few skanks in the group willing to bang a guy they don't know. Aside from that, I'm looking at 2-3 dates, dinners, phone calls, all that shit. That's why it's easier for girls.
Date: Wow.
Good looking suit: It's simple math.
Date: You would only allow 50 faithfuls? Sheesh.
Good looking suit: Men are scum.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: wedding rings are for sissies
Hobo: Listen, man, I'm homeless. Now, I'm not askin' for money or nothin', but…
Extremely well-dressed young man: Hey, me too!
Hobo: What?
Extremely well-dressed young man: Yep! Just moved here from Boston, couch surfing in Tribeca! I feel ya, buddy. God bless!
–42nd & 8th
Girl: Don't let her drink after midnight. Make her go home. Are you listening to me? Don't let her drink after midnight!
Man: Am I supposed to keep her away from sunlight and not get her wet either?
Girl: What? What are you? Fine! You get the deal with her mess!
–15th St & Union Square East
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Man running by with dog to teenage girl: Woof!
Teenage girl to friend: He better have been talking to the dog.
–Central Park
Dude #1: So, when did you get married?
Dude #2: I got married four weeks ago, in Vegas!
Dude #1: Really?
Dude #2: Yeah. Apparently Elvis wasn’t wearing any underwear when he married us, and some of the guests saw Little Elvis.
Dude #1: Ugh, bummer, dude! Are you sure you’re really married?
–1 train
Overheard by: LG
Man #1: Do you live in New York?
Man #2: No.
Man #1: Go ahead. Take my spot. I see that statue every fucking day.
–Cruise ship, Hudson River
Guy on cell: Well, right now my brother and my girlfriend share a bedroom.
–Washington Square North
Overheard by: Daniel
Young nanny to six-year-old girl, crossing the street: What do you care about more, your brother or your scooter?
–76th St & Central Park West
Overheard by: Sonny
Daughter to obnoxious mom: Just because you are a member of my family doesn't mean I won't backhand you.
–NYU Coles Sports Center
Overheard by: Maria
Man to woman, while crossing street: Look, all I'm saying is there are a lot of men who like your sister even more then they like you–and that's saying a lot!
–6th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: Wemily
Well-dressed woman: So, we should have a threesome…
Well-dressed man: Yes, probably…
–10th & 3rd
Man with bottle of booze in paper bag: Is that a machine gun or a bomb?
Boy with guitar: No, I'm just carrying my guitar.
–Train to Penn Station
Overheard by: Marcy