Wednesday One-liners Have Some “Interesting” Beliefs

Old woman: I don’t care what the fuck he says, I was a pirate in my last life, and I was on eight pirate ships!

–Williamsburg

Hobo: She was a…Mormon, no, not a Mormon. A Mormon! No, not a Mormon. What’s that religion that’s against violence? Not a Mormon, not a Mormon…a Quaker! That’s right, you know, a Mormon. It’s a circle of friends so I could just go in there and say, “Hey, I’m a Jew. I am against violence.” And they would wanna be my friends, the Mormons.

–Union Square

Sailor: I can’t believe that stripper stole your book.

–44th & 8th

Overheard by: Doug Singer

Girl: I would have been complimented if he’d been fine…but I believe he was homeless.

–21st & 7th

Overheard by: The Radford

Posted on February 3, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Hobos, Old People, Religion, Union Square and East Village, Williamsburg

And “Hot” Just Means “Not Cold Yet”

Older looking woman to younger one: That guy was so hot. I’d love to go out with him.
Younger woman: Are you kidding? He was really old! Like 70!
Older woman: So what? I am 65!

–57th & 3rd

Overheard by: Rachel Kurst

Posted on February 2, 2015
Age/Aging, Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, Physical appearance, Questions, Street, Wishes & desires, Women

Dude, You Got Mad Geezer Skills!

Old man #1, yelling at unstopping cabs: Hey! Hey! Come on!
Old man #2, with cane, hobbles over: No, no! You've gotta use your cane. Like this! (sticks his cane out into the street, a cab stops)
Old man #1: Hey! Next time, I'm bringing my cane!
Old man #2, hobbling away: You're welcome.

–W 57th b/w 9th & 10th

Posted on January 31, 2015
Advice, Cars and Driving, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, Public Transportation, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Are What She Said

Conductor: Please stop holding my doors open in the back! (pause, no change) Stop pushing open my doors in the back! (pause, no change) Hey, I don't want no more people squeezing through my openings in the back, okay?

–Q Train

Overexcited tourist dad to little girls: Alright, Jade*, blow the bubbles towards Leah*. Yes, towards her, like facing each other, so I can take a picture… When I tell you, okay? Perfect. Okay, now blow each other.

–Liberty Park

Suit: Well, it's not very large by adult standards, but it's big for what it is.

–Queens

Male office worker: My drawers are getting tight already.

–Broadway

Old woman: Would you like to give a donation to help feed our pussies?

–PETCO, Union Square

Overheard by: Lex

Posted on January 30, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Clerks, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Dads, Height, Kids, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Penis, Pictures, Public Transportation, Queens, Sex, Store, Street, Stupidity, Suits, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

America’s Diarrhea Runs on Dunkin’

Old lady, walking over to every table: Excuse me, but do any of you need to use the bathroom, because I need to do both and it takes me a while.

–Dunkin’ Donuts, Flatbush & Ave L, Brooklyn

Overheard by: RCP

Posted on January 30, 2015
Old People, One-liners, Pee, Poop, Restaurants & Cafes

The Public's Reaction to Julia Roberts' Performance in Charlie Wilson's War

Woman on phone: This is completely unacceptable! You work for the United States Government, and this is completely unacceptable!
Crazy old man: Shut up, you stupid cow!

–Hudson & Charles

Posted on January 30, 2015
Crazies, Government, Gripes, Insults, Old People, On Cell, The Village, Women

At Your Age It’ll Never Get Past HIV

Old man #1: Man, that’s nasty.
Old man #2: Why do you say that? You don’t like to orally please your woman?
Old man #1: Man, I am afraid of getting AIDS in my teeth.

–51st & 5th

Posted on January 28, 2015
AIDS, Eating Out, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People

That's How Much I Respect Her.

Old lady to husband: I heard Britney wants to adopt some pets instead taking care of her children.
Husband: They should just leave her alone.
Old lady to husband: Now you are defending her?
Husband: Not only defending her, I would wipe-lick her butt and ass-rape her until she farts cum.

–1 Train

Overheard by: gio

Posted on January 28, 2015
About Celebrities, Ass, Couples, Cum, Farting & Burping, Gossip, Kids, Licking, Old People, On the Subway, Parents, Rape, We Love Our Pets, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Throw Her From the Train

Old woman: What, you want to push me out the window?
Old man: I would, but unfortunately you won’t fit.
Old woman: Bastard.

–M31 bus

Posted on January 26, 2015
Age/Aging, Comebacks, Insults, Men, Old People, On the Bus, Wishes & desires, Women

I Participated in the Cosmetics Counter Sit-Ins at Greensboro

Old woman: Did you happen to notice if the dancers were wearing nail polish?
Teen girl: No. I'm sorry, I didn't.
Old woman: I imagine an art form such as this stifles the dancers' individual expression. I know some days I feel watermelon pink… and no one can stop me!

–Front Row, NYC Ballet, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Gina Sophia

Posted on January 26, 2015
Colors, Default, Fashion, Girls, Old People, Questions, Teens, Theater, Theater & Dance, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

Old People