Jaywalker #1 (honked at): Fuck you! Learn how to drive!
Jaywalker #2: Yeah, get a bike, save the environment!
Passerby: Uhh…that's a garbage truck.
–6th & Spring
Jaywalker #1 (honked at): Fuck you! Learn how to drive!
Jaywalker #2: Yeah, get a bike, save the environment!
Passerby: Uhh…that's a garbage truck.
–6th & Spring
Well-dressed black girl to well-groomed black standard poodle with owner: Oh, look at your nice hair! You work it girl!
–22nd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Tigertail
Middle-age woman to overgroomed poodle, as it takes a dump in the middle of the sidewalk: Ohhhhh! Charlie, that's looking a bit creamy! Yum, yum! (pause as the dog sniffs his mess) No, don't eat it!
–14th St & University Place
Overheard by: Bee
Crazy hobo in wheelchair, to small dog on leash passing by: Meow. Meow! Meow!
–Union Square
Large black man to his shaggy dog: Just because it's there doesn't mean you can pee on it. That's a nice bike!
–9th St & 50th St
Overheard by: EmGusk
Man trying to control his barking dog: No! No anxiety! Bad dog! No anxiety!
–St. Mark's & Ave A
Overheard by: french bulldog with narcissism
Suit: The ancients left records all over the place. Look at the pyramids, dickhead.
–83rd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: EthanK
Drunk guy, as '80s song plays on jukebox: '80s music was so inspirational, cuz they knew Reaganomics wasn't gonna work. '90s, we were in a boom so it was like, "don't forget how bad things are!" Now music just sucks, cuz everything sucks.
–The Punch Bowl, 238th & Broadway, The Bronx
Overheard by: Kyle Crocodile
Preppy blond guy: Wow, I didn't realize The Great Depression was so bad!
–Columbia Law School
Drunk hobo yelling at sidewalk: Fuck those guys! They can't fire me! They need me! What the fuck? I built those temples, goddamnit! Those Mayans need me! I'm the only one who built those temples!
–23rd b/w 4th & 5th
Wisdom-sharing mother of two: Well, of course socks were invented first! Soccer was invented before shoes and they wore socks to play it! Why do you think it's called soccer? They were wearing socks long before they were wearing shoes.
–Restaurant, Columbus Ave
Girl: Wait! George Washington is Johnny Appleseed, right?
–Stuyvesant High School
Suit: It's at the point now it doesn't matter too much if my wife gets mad, it's the nanny I can't upset. (other men laugh and agree)
–Uptown A Train
Female employee: I do not want to go to anger management for a third time.
–115th & 5th
Overheard by: Tara
Girl to guy: You seem like the kind of person that would be mad if they got shot.
–Wildwood, Park Ave & 18th St
Overheard by: Sean
Mom to three-year-old son: You mad? You mad? Well, you know what "mad" is spelled backwards, right? "D-a-m." Ain't nothin' you can do about that.
–St. Nicholas Ave & 127th St
Overheard by: stella ho
Thug: She's just mad 'cause she's Mexican.
–Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: Wendla B.
Hostess running out of restaurant: Angry couple who just left the bar! You forgot your credit card!
–The Village
Overheard by: DW
Crazy guy (inexplicably overjoyed): Heyyyyy! White people!
–1 Train
Gay black man on cell: She is such a delicate white cunt, she can't raise her own child. She needs a Jamaican man to do it.
–45th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Kristy Magyar
Angry black guy: I swear to god I'm bout to start slappin' white people.
–Union Station
Overheard by: scared white guy
White English guy to Anglo-Filipino chick: I don't think we'll be welcome there because we're white.
–Nostrand & St. Mark's, Brooklyn
Black guy: Man, I love white people, and I never shot anybody!
–Times Square
Panicked child: Mommy, why are there so many white people here?
–Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting
Sikh guy: I know a guy from high school who wore a name tag for eight years.
–W 4th St
Man on cell: You know, what's-her-face, she's friends with what's-her-name in HR.
–54th & 6th
Aging Guido: So there was this girl, I loved her, what was her name? Oh right, Nina. She lived in this fucked-up place. She said she had one kid, I went over one time, there were like three. Anyway, one time she was all like, "could I get three thousand pesos?" or whatever, and I was like, "Sure, if I get to fuck you and your friend!"
–1 Train
Mother to whiny brunette daughter: If you don't stop complaining I'm going to change your name. (pause) Yes, I'm going to change your name to Merlot, and your sister will be Chardonnay.
–61st & Madison
Overheard by: nancy
Small girl to unsuspecting male stranger: Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! (indicating mother) Her name's Sophia.
–M 96 Bus
Woman: In Central Park right now, the Mormons are in full bloom!
–Bandshell, Central Park
Overheard by: Mojosaves
Chick to boyfriend: I could really use some Viagra, maybe I can get some from my grandpa. (pause) Wait, never mind, he's Mormon.
–17th St & 5th Ave
Girl: What do the Mormons have against gay people? Is it because the gays dress better? I mean, Mormons only like to wear white shirts and black pants.
–Uptown A Train
Deliriously drunk woman: I was Mormon!
–Times Square
Blonde middle aged woman, singing, to the tune of "Winter Wonderland": Walking in a Weeeeeiner Wonderland…
–Food Store, 57th St
Hobo, rummaging in trash, to tune of "Blue Suede Shoes": One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now go, cat, go. Gonna rob this town, rob this town tonight.
–79th & Broadway
Overheard by: thevineyard
am New York guy, singing loudly: Get am New York! Stay dry! Thank god you're aliiiiiiive!
–Union Square Subway Entrance
Hobo, singing while passing by shopping cart: Push, push in the bush, yeah, push it in the bush!
–16th St & 5th Ave
Gay gentleman, singing in response to another gay gentleman dancing down the street in pouring rain: He's gayer in the rain, he's gayer in the rain!
–W 23rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Jess
Man to Spanish guy singing "La Bamba": Shut the fuck up!
–51st St Station
Wife, pushing stroller through crosswalk: Oh, wow, honey, look at that building.
Husband, quickly: This is New York, sweetheart, you gotta keep walking.
–Columbus Circle
Black man: Did you just fart?
Older black man: I think I did more then that.
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Krunkmode.com
