Loud teen #1: I thought your dad was Italian…?
Loud teen #2: He is Italian…and bipolar.
(silence)
Loud teen #3: I think there's something wrong with me…but I do not know what.
–Q Train
Overheard by: sara
Loud teen #1: I thought your dad was Italian…?
Loud teen #2: He is Italian…and bipolar.
(silence)
Loud teen #3: I think there's something wrong with me…but I do not know what.
–Q Train
Overheard by: sara
Man on cell: Well, at least my dick will finally seem bigger!
–Prince St. & W Broadway
Overheard by: Johnny
Puerto Rican lady on phone to pal: Yo, his dick was mad little, yo! My son's dick is bigger than that!
–Broadway & Havemeyer, Brooklyn
Teen on cell: And you have a small penis. And you're gay.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: And I Thought My Day Wasn't Going Well
Black gay guy on cell: I feel so sorry for guys with small penises. Here I am, with a 12 inch dick and I don't even use it.
–Penn Station
Man on cell: You're dumping me because my dick is 11 inches and it's too big? That doesn't make any sense!
–Lorimer & Maujer
Overheard by: was this a lame attempt to hit on me?
Petite yuppie on phone: Oh my god! It was so small I tried so hard not to laugh! But then I decided to boost his spirit and I said to him, "is it because it's cold in here?" (pause) Yeah, you're right, that couldn't have possibly boosted anything at all. Dinner was good, though.
–N Train
Overheard by: Mefisto
Tourist teen: Scientology? Is that like that crazy Darwinism stuff where they think people are monkeys?
–TKTS
Guy: Well, 20 million years ago you were a monkey too!
–NYC Lab School
Overheard by: T
Teen to friend: So once the car is full of monkey poop, then you trade it in for another one.
–Chelsea
Hobo sitting in subway station: Woman ain't want no man in her bed…she want a monkey in her bed…ooohh ooh oh ahh ahhh ahhh. (makes monkey noises)
–E Train
Overheard by: Ja9
Comedy show hawker: You will all have autism when you're done with this show. And you'll be having sex like monkeys and bunnies.
–Times Square
Overheard by: fluffyautist
Little boy watching monkey, to father: I bet he wouldn't leave his kid at a Wal-Mart.
–Bronx Zoo
Woman at checkout to teenage son: I don't know…this shampoo smells a little too edible.
Middle aged Latina cashier, fingering her hair: That's why I wash my hair! So somebody will take a bite! Yum, yum, nibble, nibble!
–Ave A Grocery Store
Teen girl #1: So, I wanted to get these boots with fringe, but I think fringe is like so over.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, but you could totally get fabricated fringe.
Teen girl #1: Wait, what do you mean by that?
Teen girl #2: Like, fringe made of fabric–but not like cotton.
Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Like tweed fringe?! Totally!
–LIRR
Teenage Asian girl: I have a question: would you want me to hang out with a vampire?
Old Hispanic woman: No!
Teenage Asian girl: Okay. I knew that.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Ryan
Hood teen #1: So they told me if I fight her I'll get arrested.
Hood teen #2: Why? She pregnant?
–L Train
Overheard by: Jamma Mamma
Black lesbian hipster: Don't, like, kiss me or look into my eyes…just fuck me and then buy me lunch.
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Helena the Great
Little boy to sister, watching couple kissing and hugging: Ewwwwww! He kissed her!
–3rd Ave & 34th St
Overheard by: Valley
Guy on cell: So then if she has herpes, should I not kiss her?
–PATH Train
Woman to toddler: Yes, it's good. It's very good. Kissing and hugging are good.
–Eldridge St, Chinatown
Overheard by: wheelerface
Dad, to teenage son: Hey, Karen kissed me. And it was real.
–E 20th St
Overheard by: Angela
250-pound male Metro worker, singing gruffly: I kissed a girl and I liked it!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Chis K
Teen #1: Man, this world is too overpopulated!
Teen #2: You know, if we changed all the “walk” signs to “don't walk,” and all the “don't walk” signs to “walk,” the problem would be solved!
–14th St & Broadway
Overheard by: that could work
Older teen boy: Oh my god, yesterday after the party I had these farts that smelled odee.
Younger teen girl: Yeah, oh my god, was it that bad?
Older teen boy: I mean I was running away from my own farts.
Younger teen girl: Wow, it's weird cuz I love the way my farts smell!
(older teen boy walks away and crosses the street)
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: fart smeller
