Guy on cell: Well, I love you. Hit that little Jewish kid in the back of the head, and I love you.
–St. Mark's
Guy to girl: Yeah, yeah, totally. I love turning nouns into verbs.
–Grahm Ave & Conseleya
Overheard by: Minna
Girlfriend to boyfriend: I love it when you goat me.
–95th St & Broadway
Overheard by: John
Staples manager to coworker: I love these staples!
–Staples Store
Overheard by: venniblue
Guy to girlfriend: Reacharound equals love.
–11th St & 3rd Ave
30-something guy to friend: It's just like I always say! The Germans should've bombed New York!
–8th St
Guy with rainbow bead necklace, about protesters of Scientology: Nobody gets the point across without explosions.
–Outside Richard Rodgers Theater
Overheard by: Unlucky at Lotto
Man at Yankee parade: C'mon guys! Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
–Broadway & Murray Street
Overheard by: Kat
Woman: The last time I blew up my nether regions.
–Imperial Theater, 57th
Whiny tween: Daddy, I just got hit in the eye.
Yuppie dad: Oh! You did? Who hit you in the eye?
Tween and mom: Mommy did.
–Prospect Heights
Overheard by: Andrea
Teenage boy: You know, if you think about it, violins are basically just giant condoms.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Older man on cell walking two giant dogs: She has a great body… When she sits, it's like a German violinist.
–Thompson Square Park
Mother to young daughter: Even if she was tired and cranky, she still shouldn't have hit you on the shoulder with a violin.
–Ave A & 6th St
Woman on cell: Let's go see the one about the transsexual violinists. (pause, yelling louder) Violinists! The transsexual violin players. Violin! (pause) You didn't say "violin"? Just transsexuals? (pause) Did you say "violence"? (pause) No? (pause) I'm not hungover!
–J Train
Little girl: Oh! Nail art, can I have it?
Mom: No, I got a problem with you today.
(little girl sulks)
Mom: I don't care if you think it's an accident: when someone hits you, you hit them back and ask questions later! When you learn this then I will buy you those nails!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn
Overheard by: kay arrgh
Stylish ladies: Oooh, police! Is there a celebrity here?
Cop: No, there's a bomb threat.
Stylish ladies: Oh, great!
–77th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: amalthya
Drunk guy holding bottle of milk: If she's upstairs… I'm gonna strangle her… I'm gonna strangle her! (starts choking bottle of milk, drops bottle, and it breaks) Ain't that a bitch!
(to passing strangers) Happy St. Patrick's Day!
–25th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Adam
Girl #1, after flinging poo-filled plastic bag at girl #2: You're lucky that missed you.
(girl #2 picks up the warm, poo-filled bag and takes aim at girl #1)
Girl #1: Whatever, go ahead. I don't care if it hits me because it's my dog's shit.
–Astoria
Overheard by: TheOneTruePax
NYU boy #1: Jeff Goldblum enslaved my parents.
NYU boy #2: Jeff Goldblum lay siege to my castle.
NYU girl #2: Jeff Goldblum killed my velociraptor.
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
