Mother to child walking strangely: What is this? I don't understand what you're doing!
Child: I want…lobster.
–Amsterdam & 108th St
Mother to child walking strangely: What is this? I don't understand what you're doing!
Child: I want…lobster.
–Amsterdam & 108th St
Girl toddler (pointing at shop window): Mommy! Mommy!
Nanny (looking at busty, naked, corset-clad mannequin in sex shop window): That’s not your mommy. But she wishes it were.
–Christopher Street, West Village
Shirtless old guy, walking over to a group of friends: Looks like you got a nice circle there, mind if I join you guys?
Stranger: No, I think we’re good…
Shirtless old guy: Well, I’ll be back…[looks up at the trees.] Do you see the pterodactyls? …up there, the dinosaurs? [Wakes up a hobo on the benches.] Sir, you see them, don’t you? …pterodactyls…pkawww pkawww [flaps his arms.][back to the group of friends]I’ll be back. pkawww!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Arvind Chandra
Random hipster: If David Bowie had wheels, how much would you pay to ride on him?
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: haxromana
Scrawny hipster dude to another: All I'm saying is: I want to be in a position where I'm not liking it, and I know he's not liking it either.
–Troutman & Evergreen
Overheard by: Kristen
Hipster: I was much more desperate in Chicago.
–6 Train
Hipster kid: I'm just afraid that my sweatshirt isn't edgy enough.
–SoundFix Records, Brooklyn
Overheard by: chelce
Teenager: He's having a hard time dealing with being a hipster.
–Columbus Circle
Guy: I’ve started calling vaginas “Panninis.”
Girl: You dug this hole!
Guy: Yeah, and now I’m gonna bury myself in it -which is great, because it’s the perfect size to fit my dead corpse!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Therese
NYU girl #1: I totally want to push that kid in the water.
NYU girl #2: What? Why?
NYU girl #1: Just to watch him drown.
Little boy: What?
NYU girls #1 and #2 (in unison): Nothing.
–Turtle Pond, Central Park
Overheard by: Oh boy
Woman: One time this guy punched me…but it was alright, cause I was on coke.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Laura Grossman
Female hipster on cell: I'm coked up and all alone, Harvey, how do you expect me to feel?
–Humboldt & Ainslie, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Joseph Hernandez
Girl on cell: I haven't done coke in like a week. It's been a rough week.
–Upper East Side
Hot 20-something tourist girl to friend: Pfft, the Meatpacking District. That's false advertising…I got no meat packed in me last night. All I did was steal that bag of cocaine from those guys.
–Broadway & Wooster
Overheard by: ClassyGal
Female 20-something on phone: Yeah, he realized it was too late when he couldn't tell the difference between the piles of sugar, the piles of flour, and the piles of cocaine.
–Central Park
Thug to friend: That bitch looked up at me and said, "Damn, your dick tastes like coffee."
–86th St & Lexington
Overheard by: TINA
Female suit to other: Duane Reade is like the Starbucks of drugstores!
–Duane Reade
Old lady with shopping cart, exiting voting booth: Where's my Starbucks coupon?
–PS163, Bath Beach, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Torgo61
Guy on cell: Hey, bro! I'm having coffee and a bagel. (pause) No, an animal did not have to die for me to have this coffee!
–Arthur Avenue
Overheard by: eternal student
Man with heavy Indian accent holding a cup of Starbucks coffee: No, the most expensive coffee in the world is coffee beans eaten and then pooped out by a cat. It's $120 a cup.
–Elevator, 7th Ave & 31st St
Guy #1: You ho!
Guy #2: I am nobody's gardening instrument!
–NYU
Middle aged theater-goer to teenage boy dressed as renaissance page: Are you a part of the performance?
Page boy: Nay, nay. Far from it.
Middle aged theater-goer: What?
Page boy: Nay, nay. Far from it.
Middle aged theater-goer: Then why are you dressed like that?
Page boy: I'm just an eccentric patron.
Middle aged theater-goer: Oh.
Page boy: Someone has to play the part of eccentric patron.
Middle aged theater-goer: Well, good for you. High-five me, if that's not too far out of your century.
–Schubret Theater
