Young woman: I want to see it when they give the Yankees the keys to the city.
Thug boyfriend: Okay.
Young woman: What do the keys open?
Thug boyfriend: It's just, like, a statue and shit.
Young woman: Oh, I thought they all got a turn trying to open the vault at the bank, and one of the keys works.
Thug boyfriend: You dumb bitch. That's The Price Is Right, not The World Series!
–E Train
Teeny tiny gay guy: I used to be so skinny in high school.
–Staten Island
Teenage girl to another: I mean, why bother to eat anything if you're just gonna shit it all out?
–L Train
Woman carrying baby to friend: Also, I burn an extra 500 calories a day just by breastfeeding!
–5th Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: Tracy
20-something guy, about Sour Patch Kids gummy candy: They're fat-free, so they're good for you!
–4 Train
Six-year-old girl, eating bagel: All of the fat from this is going to go straight to my ass!
–A Train
Overheard by: that's just great
Man in cowboy hat, looking at large crowd surrounding a Jew for Jesus: Man, I can't compete with religion, all I got are card tricks! This sucks!
–Union Square
Overheard by: SilentRaver
Guy on cell: Why, is it because it's the blacks? (pause) Oh, I get it. It's the Baptists.
–Cosi, 13th & Broadway
Overheard by: Heather
Crazy creepster, going up to Catholic girls and screaming: Catholic schoolgirls rule!
–R Train
Overheard by: Amanduh
Tall, 40-something guy on cell: I don't know… I don't think I can go drunk to church.
–53rd St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Midtown Schmidtown
Woman: My husband is pissed because I skipped church for this shit!
–Medieval Festival, Ft. Tryon Park
Woman #1, about waitress: She was really nice.
Woman #2: Yeah, I should come back here.
Woman #1: I know, I know. It's hard making connections.
Woman #2: I really don't have many friends.
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: alan b hutscar
Woman #1: Are you getting ice cream?
Woman #2: I'm getting beer.
Woman #1: I thought you said you wanted something chocolatey.
Woman #2: I want chocolate and beer.
–Deli, Lexington b/w 84th & 85th
Overheard by: Daveistrad
Woman #1: So, she had half her lung removed.
Woman #2: Does she talk funny now?
Woman #1, confused: Why would she talk funny?
Woman #2: Don't you breathe through your lungs?
Woman #1: You are a moron.
–34th & 7th
Woman #1: These almonds are great.
Woman #2: These are cashews. We finished all the almonds earlier.
Woman #1: These cashews are great.
–Grand Central
Woman on cell: And then he threw the wig and car keys at him, and to me, that says family!
–West Village
Overheard by: Kate S
20-something on cell: Yeah, I Rickrolled my cousin's Bar Mitzvah last night. No, he didn't get it, the sheltered little Short Hills prick.
–MoMA
Overheard by: Trevor
Young guy in deli to friend: So getting support from my parents is like dealing with a record label. You have to create a buzz, make it seem like you're doing something, or they don't want to be involved with you.
–Frank's Deli
Drunk girl: That's my brother! But we're both only children.
–Pieces Bar, Christopher St
30-something man to 30-something woman: When are we ever going to find a time when both of our parents aren't home?
–7th & 1st
Angry woman to frantically dancing little boy: Stop that! Stop it! Have you lost your damn mind?
Little boy, still dancing: Yeah… a little!
–6th Ave & 18th St
Angry woman to frantically dancing little boy: Stop that! Stop it! Have you lost your damn mind?
Little boy, still dancing: Yeah… a little!
–6th Ave & 18th St
