Little kid: Hey, mom, look! You can see the moon!
Ghetto mom: Shut up! You can't see no moon when the sun out. Sit down 'fore I bust yo little ass!
Little kid: But I can see the moon!
Nice older lady to kid: You're right, honey. You can see the moon when the sun is out. The moon is bright because of the sun.
Kid to mom: See, I told you I could see the moon?
Ghetto mom: That bitch lyin'!
–A Train
Overheard by: innocent mta customer
(man with headphones singing out loud moves over so that an elderly couple can sit down together)
Old lady: Thank you.
Man: You are very, very welcome. I’m rappin’ out loud, but I’m a gentleman. I was raised in the streets, but I’m good.
–1 Train
Overheard by: huh?
Woman #1: I hate this time of year in the city. It's like there are ten times as many tourists as usual, because everyone's on vacation.
Woman #2: I know. I mean, just look at the flocks of Asian people around here!
Woman #1: Ummmm, we're in Chinatown.
–Mott & Grand
Overheard by: Elisabeth
Woman getting haircut: So it all began when I was dating an Italian underwear model…
Hairdresser (after a short pause): Yes?
Woman: He was the worst fuck of my life!
–Institu Salon, 19th & Irving
Girl on cell, looking for her friends: Can you see me? Look at the sun, I'm directly under it right now.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Guy on cell: Yeah, we'll go now. Okay. Right now, I'm at 116 and Hamsterdam–Hamsterdam? What the fuck did I just say? Oh, wow, that is a disturbing mental image. Yeah, exactly. River full of hamsters. Okay, see ya.
–116th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: That would be truly terrifying.
Harlem woman on cell: Come find me! I'm on the downtown side of the street!
–East Side
Drunk guy on cell: Yo, I'm on the corner of fuckin' somethin' an somethin'.
–42nd St & 5th Ave
Drunk on cell: Where am I? Where am I? I'm at the corner of Charles Street and motherfucking I don't know!
–West Village
Woman to friends: Oh thank god! I feel so much safer now that we're at 7th Avenue.
–G Train
Girl to teenage posse: Either the pen was really weak or his butt was really strong.
–Jackson Heights, Queens
Overheard by: Newsbunny doesn't want to know
Crazy guy to self, after average woman walks by: Damn, that was a fine ass, a fine ass, that ass was so fine I'd eat a sandwich out that ass!
–36th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dingleberry
Large grown woman to grown man: I thought you have all sorts of butt magazines…
–34th & 8th
Guy to girl: I like it when you wear jeans, girl! It's like your ass is gift wrapped!
–33rd & 7th
Older woman to younger woman: If your booty deserves the credit, give it the credit!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Hell Yeah Give it the Credit!
Man: We had him circumcised.
Woman: Circumcised?
Man: Yeah, whatever you do with dogs. You know…
Woman: Neutered?
Man: Isn't that the same thing?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Nettle
Guy on cell: Wow! That's a lot of cookies. If I had that many cookies, I'd put a couple of them in my ass. (pause). It doesn't matter, I've got the space. I can't eat that many cookies.
–23rd & Lexington
Teen girl to teen boy: Unless you want a 9 millimeter stuck up your asshole.
–Grand Central Terminal
Girl on cell: Well, it's still rectal.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
20-something girl to 20-something guy, quite loudly: Yeah, but putting a metal spike up his ass wasn't exactly what I had in mind!
–28th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Jar Aaron
20-something woman: Baby, I think we're going to keep the Thanksgiving dinner out of my asshole.
–Herkimer St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: M. Fresh
Gay guy to friend: I may be gay but I’m not stupid.
–The Flame Diner, 58th St & 9th Ave
Woman to man: But they were only stopping the dumbasses… That’s why they stopped your dumb ass.
–W 66th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
(Blonde is having trouble hailing cab during rush hour)
Gypsy cab driver in town car: No one will take you cuz you’re stupid!
–116th & Broadway
20-something guy to girl: It’s eleven and it will take you till one to get home, then I’ll call you and tell you how stupid you are.
–4th St Subway Station
Overheard by: Glad I’m not dating him
Girl: Alexis, we’ve been over this. You’re stupid.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Crosby
Bimbette, yelling into cell: Yo! Look who you’re talking to–I’m not exactly the smartest person in the world!
–Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: dumb as a rock
Drunk gay man: I've slept with more men than my mom has!
–Ave A
Overheard by: Let his own mom win that contest
Woman to man: I don't want to be known as the whore of New Yorkers.
–9th Ave & 44th St
Woman on cell: It's just sex. There's no way you guys can ever be permanently tied, or anything.
–Macy's
Preppy, middle-aged woman, about man on iPhone: Who is that whore?
–Bookstore, Brooklyn
Overheard by: -she probably said
