In the Name Of the Father, the Son, and the Wednesday One-Liner

Husband pushing carriage to wife: You're lucky I'm on my way to church right now, or I'd kill you.

–Upper West Side

Chick on cell: But the real question is, is he Catholic? And an insomniac?

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Poogins

Sequined Australian drag queen: Well, I know an Antichrist religion when I see it.

–2nd St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Alisha

Girl on phone: He told me he was raped by a Catholic priest when he was little, but like I don't believe him.

–Butler Library, Columbia University

Train conductor: 110th Street, Cathedral Parkway. There are churches here, you know.

–1 Train

Man to woman, after getting off cell phone: Ah, that was Nancy–booty call. She says I gotta get over there before she's got to go to church.

–Q Train

Overheard by: spygirl

Posted on July 22, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Booty Call, Christianity, Church, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Conductors, Couples, Directions, Drag queens, Girls, Library, Men, Murder, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Questions, Rape, Religion, Street, Threats, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Why Miss Cleo Got Fired from Her Flyer-Peddling Job

Comedy club rep: Hey, crackheads, come see a comedy show!
Woman: I'm not a crackhead.
Comedy club rep: …yet.

–43rd & 7th

Posted on July 21, 2015
Hard Drugs, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, Strangers, Theater & Dance, Vendors & Street Performers, Women

At Least Use This Rejeuvenating Cream

White guy: Baby, do you know how much I love you? (rubs the most sensitive part of her eye)
Asian woman: (long pause)
White guy: Did you hear me?
Asian woman: Okay… You know what? I love affection, but I am not getting any younger and you're making my crow's foot worse!

–F Train

Overheard by: BJ

Posted on July 21, 2015
Age/Aging, Asians, Assholes, Body Parts, Comebacks, Health and Hygiene, Love, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, White People, Women

God Help Him If He Shows Up There in a Codpiece and Plumed Hat

Female tourist: I don’t want to go to Harlem.
Male tourist: I do! They had a renaissance!

–Green Line

Overheard by: Linds

Posted on July 21, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Default, Men, NYC Geography, On the Bus, Tourism, Tourists, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

Where Crack-Addled Felons Can Blend in and Disappear

Woman: This is why I don’t ride this train. Now help me figure out how to get back to Harlem where it’s safe.

–G train

Posted on July 21, 2015
On the Subway, Public Transportation, Women

We Only Burn Down Buildings in Iraq

British man: Has anyone burned down his house yet?
British woman: No, love, we don’t do that here.

–Houston & Lafayette

Overheard by: Jay

Posted on July 20, 2015
Fire, Foreigners, Men, Questions, Soho, Women

Then They Both Linked Arms and Skipped Off to Eternal Damnation

(group of black teenagers board the train)
Teenage girl: Goddamn, there are a lot of people on this train.
Middle-aged Mexican woman: How dare you? How dare you! I am a Christian and I will not put up with this. Not on my train. You are disrespecting our Lord and every Christian on this train! God sent his beloved son Jesus down to the earth to save our souls, and I will not put up with hearing you speak against him. I am a Christian and… Nah, I’m just fucking with ‘ya.

–E Train

Overheard by: fusoya