Wednesday One-Liners Are So Not the Freshmaker

Bimbette: I don't think I've ever been that grossed out during the day. It all started when that woman smelled like pee…

–6 Train

Overheard by: j

Female suit: We were above an Indian restaurant and he was banging me from behind. I could smell the curry, and while he was banging me I was gagging.

–NJ Transit

Chick: You smell like vag and pizza.

–Borders

Girl to friend, after bending head down into her: Damn my puss stank.

–E Train

Overheard by: Nicole

College guy (screaming at friend): Dude! How are you even in college?! You smell like Oust! You smell like Tropical Glade!

–1 Train

Concerned hipster: I know you just orgasmed, but what's that smell?

–E 9th & 3rd

Overheard by: Peanut

Posted on April 17, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Bimbettes, Compare/Contrast, Ethnic Food, Ew, Jersey, Frat Boys, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, On the Subway, Orgasm, Pee, Pizza, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Store, Suits, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Weirdness, Women

He and the Mattress Giant are Getting Married in Central Park

Male worker: He isn’t here today.
Woman worker: But I need him!
Man worker: But Mr. Clean ain’t here today!
Woman worker whining: When?
Man worker: Not today!

–Electra Building

Posted on April 17, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Blue-collar workers, Buildings, Men, Questions, Talking/Convos, Time, Wishes & desires, Women

If Only the Minutemen Could Keep Out Hicks

Little kid, holding out french fry: Patata!
Hick woman: Patoota? What's that?
Hick man: Little kids' word.

–Belgian Beer Bar, 75th & 2nd

Overheard by: Even my Spanish isn't that bad

Posted on April 15, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Default, Kids, Language Barrier, Men, Questions, Rednecks, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Women, Words

How Many Weight Watchers Points Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?

NYU JAP on phone to mother (enraged): Ugh, mom! No! Wearing seasonally inappropriate outerwear will not make me sweat and lose weight!

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Maeve

Woman in line with friend at Duane Reade, reading can of energy drink: Wait. There's carbs in here? Like bread carbs? Carbs are bread, right? Cause when people go on, like, a low carb diet, they don't eat any bread, right? But I still don't understand why there's bread in here. Whatever. It doesn't even taste like bread.

–Duane Reade

10-year-old kid to friend: So you're a year older than me, but you're 20 pounds lighter? That's fucked up.

–Christopher St & Waverly Place

Overheard by: sharknife

Girl: You know how some people are social drinkers? I'm a social eater.

–NYU

Overheard by: ninja z

Asian fashionista: Yeah, I think I'm like a size 12 in boys.

–Conde Nast Building

Overheard by: jackattack

Loud guy on cell: Actually, I can't be bulimic anymore because I have no gag reflex. I've been sucking too much cock.

–34th & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Alis

Posted on April 15, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Duane Reade, Family Ties, Fashion, Fashionistas, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, JAPs, Kids, Moms, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Penis, Students, Stupidity, Sweat, The Village, Times Square, Weirdness, Women

Elegant Folks Drink Wine from a Mix

Black woman: How do you get fucked up on wine?
Black security officer: I drink that shit like it's Kool-Aid!

–F Train

Overheard by: Ohhh Yeah!

Posted on April 15, 2015
Black People, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, On the Subway, Questions, Security Guards, Women

Then How Can I Be a Jerk Off, Brainiac?

Man #1, annoyed at being pushed: You don't have to push!
Man #2: Well, it was really crowded.
Woman: Welcome to New York!
Man #1, to woman: Your mother!
Woman: That's mature! What are you, in the 5th grade? Grow up, jerk-off!
Man #1: Suck my dick!
Woman: You don't got one, honey!

–F Train

Overheard by: Alliem

Posted on April 15, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Insults, Men, On the Subway, Only in New York, Penis, Public Transportation, Violence, Women

Hot New Ad Campaign for Partial-Birth Abortion

Guy, to chick: Yeah, yeah, you are definitely less pregnant than last time we hung out.

–Chrystie & Delancey

Overheard by: lauren

Posted on April 14, 2015
Babies, Lower Manhattan, Men, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Street, Women

The Sisters Are Always Getting Estimates from Burly Tradesmen

Old lady #1: The exterminator. He’s an extremely nice man. Isn’t he a nice man?
Old lady #2: Yes, he was very nice.
Old lady #1: We should hire him more often.
Old lady #2: Oh, you’re so bad.

–B61 bus

Overheard by: aspiring old lady

Posted on April 14, 2015
Advice, Beauty, Jobs & Careers, Old People, On the Bus, Talking/Convos, Women

Makes Me Nauseous

Old lady: You spelled “candle” wrong.
Employee: What?
Old lady: You spelled “candle” wrong on one of your signs. Give me a piece of paper and I’ll fix it for you.
Employee: It’s okay.
Old lady (getting extremely angry): No, it is not okay. This is inappropriate and you need to fix it.

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: just buying some shampoo

Posted on April 13, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Anger Management, Default, Duane Reade, Offers and requests, Old People, Women, Words

And People Wearing Crocs Shouldn't Throw Stones

Hipster girl outside bar on Halloween: Hey–great costume! What are you?
Young woman wearing black hat, smoking alone on sidewalk: Um… thanks… it's not a costume…

–Mulberry & Prince

Overheard by: Karen S

Posted on April 13, 2015
Clothing, Hipsters, Lower East Side, Physical appearance, Questions, Women

Women