Google “Pussy” If You Doubt Me

Loud black girl #1: If you got the same father but different mothers you half siblings. If you got the same mother but different fathers you whole siblings!
Loud black girl #2: No it ain’t! You’re wrong.
Loud black girl #1, to older black man standing in front of them: Excuse me, sir. You look older and wiser than us. Which one of us is right?
Older black man: If you got the same mamma y’all sistas.
Loud black girl #2: That’s not right.
Loud black girl #1: You just wait till we get out this train and have service and we will both text message Google and see who’s right. Same mamma makes you whole siblings!
Loud black girl #2: Fine, but you wrong.
Loud black girl #1: Yes you are, cause you all come out the same pussy! It’s the pussy that matters!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Alie

Posted on June 2, 2008
Black People, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Family Ties, Girls, Old People, On the Subway, Questions, Vagina

Wednesday One-Liners Are for Keeping Airports in

Girl to friends, while walking past bar: Oh, this is the place I got drunk at, then woke up in Queens.

–40th & 7th

Overheard by: Jesse

Drunk Italian guy, entering uptown NRW station: Uptown and Queens? That’s where all the pussy is!

–23rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Zarek

Middle-aged black woman on phone: I can see all Queens from up in here, nigga. Aw, damn, I can see that Rhode Island shit now.

–Roosevelt Island Tram

Overheard by: Jack Fleming

20-Something hipster girl on cell: Why do you have to get off the phone? You’re eating? Again? You big fat ass… God, I hate Queens.

–Queens Bridge

Overheard by: SL

Conductor over loudspeaker: You are now on the N train running to Queens… Unlike yesterday when I was in Queens running the train on all of youse. Enjoy.

–N Train

Overheard by: Kevin

Voice from dressing room stall: I am at a Sears in Queens. S. O. S.

–Sears, Rego Park, Queens

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on May 28, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Italians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Queens, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Store, Subway conductors, Women

Even If I Am a Cop

Tourist husband with camera: We could ask him. [Points to black man.]Tourist wife: No, I don’t think thats a good idea.
Black man: Listen to your woman, I woulda taken that shit and run!

–Times Square

Posted on May 24, 2008
Black People, Couples, Crime and Punishment, Men, Pictures, Times Square, Tourists, Women

We’re Bringin’ Wednesday One-Liners Back

African tourist: All New Yorkers are sexy! That’s why I love this city. Everywhere I go, sexy. The cops, the people…

–Broadway & Chambers St.

Metro newspaper guy: Hey sexy man, take a metro and be a lot sexier!

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: Dora Watson

Loud freshman boy, entering cafeteria with more freshmen: And she pinched my nipple, but it was sexy!

–Edward R. Murrow High School

Overheard by: Kris S.

Student commenting on a painting of Mary and Jesus by Raphael: In this painting Mary has a little more of a…I don’t know, sexual aura. Her face is more narrow, I can kind of see her breast. She has her leg bent in a sexy way kind of like saying "I’m not a virgin anymore".

–Columbia University Art Humanities Class

Overheard by: Going to Hell

Skanky mom to three-year-old son: Hey sexy!

–Central Park

Overheard by: riana

Businesswoman to another: Who’s your sexy hoe?

–33rd St & Park

Tween girl with science textbook: You don’t understand cloning? Okay, let me tell you about it. It’s sexy as hell… [later] I stayed after class to get him to teach me about meiosis and it was really hot. I got so horny!

–F Train

Posted on May 21, 2008
Advice, Africans, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Black People, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Central Park, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Cops, Education, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Guys, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nipples, On the Subway, Questions, Science, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Students, Suits, Tourism, Tourists, Tweens, Visual Art, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Eat Xanax Like Popcorn

Conductor: Use all available doors, please. Don’t be afraid of open doors.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Man looking at the BDSM exhibit: That’s not scary. I have one of those!

–Museum of Sex

Overheard by: Rachel K

Big black man to his big black friends: Yo, and I was totally afraid he’d crush my vagina.

–Starbucks, 9th & 57th

Overheard by: newsyspice

Homeless guy: I don’t know why all you people are looking at me scared! This is my game face! Halloween is over!

–G Train

Overheard by: drum

Posted on May 14, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Fears, Friends, Gender issues, Guys, Holidays, Homeless, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, S&M, Starbucks, Subway conductors, Vagina, Weirdness

Obscenity: The Universal Language

Black lady #1: [sign language].
Black lady #2: [sign language].
Black lady #1: [sign language].
Black lady #2: Motherfucker!

–A Train

Posted on May 13, 2008
Black People, Compare/Contrast, Default, Insults, Languages, On the Subway, Women

The Music Sucks Though

Flamboyant black guy #1: That’s what I love about being gay. All these bitches be loving on me so I get them to do my homework.
Flamboyant black guy #2: True.

–Washington Square North

Posted on May 12, 2008
Black People, Default, Education, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Guys, Love, Queer guys, Washington Square Park

Sex With Your Ex Is Always Something Special

Huge black guy on cell: Yo man, I got nostalgic on that ass!

–Center & Lafayette

Overheard by: jonnytimmy

Posted on May 5, 2008
Ass, Black People, Default, Guys, On Cell, One-liners, Relationships, The Village

Wednesday One-Liners Spin Fat into Muscle

African man, yelling into cell: I am not riding a bike! I’m not a machine! I’m not a machine! I’m not a wheel!

–W 23rd St

Overheard by: I’m a train!

Loud chick on cell: So I told him he’s gotta do some exercises or something to keep up with me. I mean, he doesn’t do any foreplay or anything, just climbs his fat ass on top of me…

–37th & Broadway

Guy on phone at sandwich shop: How am I? Well, that’s a complicated quesion -do you mean right now, or in general? Because right now, Lisa’s got a really bad cold and is all set up on the couch and I just got back from a eulogy for a friend’s pop. So now I’m getting a coffee and then I plan on riding the bicycle at the gym -’cause that’s the closest I can get to heroin. How are you?

–85th & Columbus Ave

Lady, to marathon wheelchair participants: Don’t just sit there, go go go!

–99th & 5th, NYC Marathon

Grown woman, clapping and bouncing up and down: Yaaaaaaay, I get to go on the slide!

–76th & York

Ten-year-old girl leaving the midnight showing of Harry Potter: Ugh. I am never working out again!

–68th & Broadway

Overheard by: Sarah Booz