Woman, about couple filing in for orchestra seat: What are those people doing?
Man: They're standing.
Woman: Oh, I wouldn't stand for an opera.
–Standing Room, Metropolitan Opera
Overheard by: Cheryl
Woman, about couple filing in for orchestra seat: What are those people doing?
Man: They're standing.
Woman: Oh, I wouldn't stand for an opera.
–Standing Room, Metropolitan Opera
Overheard by: Cheryl
Hobo: Let me sit in your lap and belch like a naughty girl!
Young man: Okay, now I’m freaked out.
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Zed
Headline by: tab
Runners-Up:
· “But That’s Just The Acid. Have A Seat!” – Lalaith
· “But Not Sufficiently So to Decline Your Generous Offer” – andy
· “Dad, Im Getting to Old for That!!” – not again!
· “Go Home, Britney.” – EKC
· “It Sucks to Be New York Santa” – aileen
· “Please Go Back to Humping My Leg.” – Dennis
· “The Fairy God Hobo Can Make All Your Dreams Come True…” – Uulargh of the Prairie
German anarchist guy: …so then they’ll come to the meetings and be like, “Fuck the meetings! The revolution will be spontaneous!”.
American anarchist guy: I know, I know. And we’re always like, “Then why did you come to the meeting?”.
–Chinatown bus
Woman in Lycra leopard print dress: I had to jam out with my clam out. I had to jam out with my clam out!
Man: Daamnnn…
–Nostrand & Lincoln, Crown Heights
Old Jewish woman to very nervous Asian 25-year-old bride to be: Honey, I've been married 53 years. The secret to a great marriage? Give him lots of sex. Lots of good sex.
–Dumbo, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tanya
Man on cell: I told her I would convert. We could go to Vegas and get married next week, no problem.
–64th & Amsterdam
Woman on phone: My ex-boyfriend was 24 and he was able to support me, and you're 35 on an engineer's salary and you can't do the same. Do you know how many guys are begging to marry me, and can give me a dowry? So fuck you!
–Target Store, Brooklyn
Hispanic woman on phone: So where are you now? You already married him? Oh, okay. See you later.
–28th & Park Avenue South
Overheard by: Alie
Five-year-old boy to teacher about five-year-old girl next to him: We're going to get married. (to five-year-old girl) What's your name again?
–61st & Amsterdam
Guy to girlfriend and friend: Goddammit, neither one of you is a gay man trapped in a woman's body.
–8th & 9th
Overheard by: cracking up
Girl on cell: Are all she-males gay? Cause if they're into women, sign me up.
–Astor Place
Teen on cell: Dudes have, like, purses here…
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Al-master
Guy to friend: She's not a tranny, but she's, y'know: tran-y.
–Grand St & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: KateM
Man on cell: You and I are both complex women. It's more complicated than that.
–21st St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Ben
Alabaman, about MLK Day: Yeah, well, down in Alabama we don’t celebrate his birthday, but the day he was shot.
College kid: Uh…
–49th & 3rd
Older man to African American girl): Where are you from? Ghana?
Girl (astonished): Columbus, Ohio!
–Terminal 2, JFK
Overheard by: Generous Supply
Voice over employee's walkie-talkie: Okay, I really need those guns. Anyone who has one, I need it down in bridal.
–Bed Bath & Beyond
Obnoxious woman: So I said, "motherfucker, I'm not your sister–I'm your cousin. So I will shoot you."
–Uptown 2 Train
Large black man: If you ain't got no bullets, you gotsta melee!
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th
Overheard by: Zach
Wannabe hip-hopper, trying to sell CD: It's clean music, and I ain't never shot no one!
–Union Square
20-something guy on cell: They got no right to bring up that gun charge, it's over ten years old!
–19th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Emily Davidson
Dude, after chatting to policewoman: I just have a thing for women in uniform! My mind says, "no, no, settle down," and my penis says, "but she's got a gun!"
–Hudson & Laight
