Be Afraid. Be Very Wednesday One-Liner.

Guy to girlfriend: How can you be really scared for 2012 when you thought it was 2013?

–Franklin & Eastern Parkway

Seven-year-old boy on bike, turning corner into small white dog: Shoooooooooooot son, that dog just scared the black out of me!

–Nostrand Ave & Prospect Pl

Overheard by: melyssalaree

Crazy guy, after screaming unintelligibly in 20-something's face: It's cool, I'm supposed to scare people! I'm the anti-Christ!

–Ave A b/w 5th & 6th St

Girl: I'm really scared I'm gonna be a sex addict. Like, I'm hoping it won't happen, but it probably will.

–High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on March 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Brooklyn, Colors, Couples, Crazies, Fast Times at New York High, Fears, Girls, Guys, Kids, Man's Best Friend, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Religion, Sex, Street, Time, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Hey, We're Not That Irish

Professional-looking guy #1: How old is your sister?
Professional-looking guy #2: Twenty-two.
Professional-looking guy #1: Twenty-two? You guys are practically twins! What are you? Four, five months apart?

–Downtown A Train

Posted on March 13, 2010
Age/Aging, Family Ties, Guys, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, Time

Back When Unicorn Hookers Roamed Times Square!

Haggard man wearing NY sweatshirt: Is this New York City?
Bunch of bros: Yeah, it is!
Haggard man wearing NY sweatshirt: This ain't New York City anymore, man. You shoulda been here forty years ago!

–Union Square

Overheard by: jvdubs

Posted on March 11, 2010
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Only in New York, Questions, Strangers, Time, Union Square and East Village

We'd Like to Thank Wednesday One-Liner for This Emmy

Chick to friend: I've been really committed to learning about Jesus lately. Can you believe how crazy it is that Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights? I mean, like, no food or water for that long? Crazy! I mean, I never even realized how crazy it was until I saw David Blaine do it.

–R Train

Dreaded hobo, evangelizing: You gotta be able to suck dick to accept the love of Jesus Christ!

–40th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: melissa

Dude: It's not gay if it's Jesus!

–Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ladle

Fat Christian evangelist to another: Jesus had the computer technology to manipulate the atoms of water. That's why he could walk over the waves. That's how we convince the atheists.

–Union Square

Overheard by: smoking on the stoop

Hipster on cell: My aunt got a promotion at work. She's a big deal. If this were the bible, she would be Jesus' nephew.

–17th St & Broadway

Posted on March 3, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Christianity, Christians, Compare/Contrast, Computer, Crazies, Education, Fat People, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Hobos, Jesus, Jobs & Careers, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Science, Street, Stupidity, Time, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

The Truth Shall Set Wednesday One-Liners Free

Young suit on cell while at bar with coworkers: Yeah, I'm still at work right now, I'll call you when I'm done.

–The Dubliner Bar

Overheard by: Keekz

Young woman on cell: Hi, dad… Yeah, I'm in New York… Yes, I'm at Grand Central, I just got off the train.

–JFK Taxi Stand

Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld

Earnest man on cell: Yes, no, I'm driving there. I'll be there in ten minutes. What? That's a passenger. Ten to twelve minutes… Hello? I can't talk, I don't have a headset.

–B Train

Overheard by: Emily

Skanky girl on cell walking down street at fairly slow pace: I'm like, running.

–7th Ave & 47th St

Overheard by: Serena

Posted on February 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Cars and Driving, Coworkers, Fitness, Girls, JFK Airport, Jobs & Careers, Lies, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Public Transportation, Suits, Time, Women

Grandma Got Run Over by a Wednesday One-Liner

SUV driver to pedicab trying to make its way through the snow: Hey, buddy! I got a reindeer, ya wanna buy it?

–8th Ave & 48th St

Loud 13-year-old: Shut the fuck up, it's almost Christmas.

–B Train

Overheard by: Taylor

Middle-aged guy on cell: You'll never guess what I'm doing for Christmas. You'll never guess in a million years. (pause) Uhm, yeah, that's pretty close.

–8th Ave

Guy dressed in Santa costume on cell: Stop being such a weenie!

–Midtown

Angry little girl to older brother: If you don't let Santa out of our closet I will!

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Taylor

Posted on February 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Brooklyn, Brothers, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Comebacks, Conductors, For Sale, Guys, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Street, Teens, Time, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Meet the People in Charge Of Programming for Fox

Hobo #1: Yesterday was about embarrassing questions, like “what is a fart?”, or “what is a belch?” Or “why does my pussy stink?” Or “what is plastic surgery?” And they show portions of plastic surgery. And it's a program that I really connected to… It has the highest ratings. I'm up at six o'clock, walking my cats, waking my ass up.
Hobo #2: Yeah, I watch that show too…
Hobo #1 interrupting: No, that's not the same that some acting tv dramas. This 'bout real shit, it's about real questions and real answers. Most people don't even know what their bodies look like. But they got psychologists, they got surgeons…

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: typing it all into my blackberry as fast as I could

Posted on February 22, 2010
Farting & Burping, Gay Man's Best Friend, Hobos, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Plastic Surgery, Psychology, Time, TV, Vagina, Weirdness, Words

That's What They Have Instead Of Homosexuality

Man, loudly: It's been a long time since I fucked a racehorse.
Man's friend, reassuringly, to surprised bystanders: He's Irish.

–36th St & Madison

Overheard by: Bystanding Citizen

Posted on February 21, 2010
Animals & Nature, Beastiality, Foreigners, Friends, Language Barrier, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Sex, Time, Weirdness

Wasn't This a Chris Rock Documentary?

Black woman #1: So, she's got him at her place setting up her new furniture while she's out fucking another guy.
Black woman #2: Where does he think she's at?
Black woman #1: Her hair done. She's got him convinced that it takes eight hours to relax that short shit.
Black woman #2: Man, that's why a white man should never date a black woman. I'd never get away with that shit with my man.

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Overheard by: Overhearer

Posted on February 21, 2010
Black People, Dating, Hair, Infidelity, Lies, Physical appearance, Port Authority, Race, Sex, Time, Women

But You Showed The Bratz Movie Last Week!

Overeager middle-aged guy: So, when are you guys going to show A Perfect Storm?
Snotty hipster barista: Uh… Never.

–Mudd Cafe, before 1950s Art Film Screening

Overheard by: Charles

Posted on February 18, 2010
Baristas, Film, Guys, Hipsters, Movies, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Time