If You've Got Wednesday One-Liners, Flaunt 'Em!

Hispanic girl on phone: I'm in the Heights, looking at clothes…of course they're slutty, that's all we wear.

–St Nicholas Ave b/w 181 & 182 St

Overheard by: Linda Rhodes

Friend to scantily clad girl adjusting extremely low-cut shirt: Why are you even wearing a shirt?

–NYU

Flamboyant black man: Girl, I can see yo' pussy, yo' pants are too tight!

–14th St

Blonde: I'm just going to put a thong and a mini skirt on him, and he'll entertain us.

–Broadway & 34th St, Astoria

Overheard by: Natalie

Freshman NYU student during welcome week: I can't wait to get some slutty clothes…so I can fit in.

–Outside NYU's Kimmel Center

Posted on March 25, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Biotechs, Black People, Clothing, Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Height, Latinos, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Sorority Girls, Street, Students, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners

Like They Did With The Da Vinci Code?

Drunk girl at a party #1 (in a high-pitched “baby Jesus” voice): I want frankincense now! I want frankincense and myrrh right now! Why mama put me in the hay? I wanna bed! Why my momma can't have no house! I want frankincense!
Drunk girl at a party #2: The Catholic church is going to kick you in the face!

–Astoria

Posted on March 1, 2009
Astoria, Christianity, Church, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Kick, Trees and plants, Wishes & desires

If That's Not a Rap Lyric, It Should Be One.

Little girl: Daddy, it's hard to be a six-year-old…
Dad: Uh huh.
Little girl: She wasn't calming me down, daddy, she was calming me up!

–Steinway & Ditmars, Astoria

Posted on February 13, 2009
Astoria, Dads, Gripes, Kids, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners, the Notorious W.O.L.

Ghetto guy on cell: And then he asked me if he was gonna go to heaven and I said, "You ain't going to heaven, you are going to thug mansion!"

–125th St & Amsterdam

Thugette to thug: I killed him because he was bothering me.

–Broadway & 20th St

Overheard by: Robert G

Pretty thug in white polo (very loudly): Yo, I need to get a scale to weigh some drugs.

–Ditmars & 25th, Astoria

Thug to friend: You can't pull off the lumberjack look. You ain't the fuckin Brawny man!

–Jamba Juice, Times Square

Big thug on cell (angrily): All I'm saying is you'd *better* get your master's degree, or else!

–40th & 8th

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on December 3, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Death, Drugs, Education, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murder, On Cell, Physical appearance, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Thugs, Times Square, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Use the Safety Net

Teen girl on cell: What?! His name was "food stamps?"

–Outside W 4th St Train Station

Woman waiting in line for a free iced coffee at Dunkin' Donuts: Daaaayum… It's crowded in here, like at the welfare office!

–Lower Manhattan

Overheard by: Matt

Thug (seeing the line for Dark Knight: Yo, this is longer than the welfare line!

–42nd St AMC Theaters

Overheard by: Angel

Drunk hobo in seriously bright yellow jump suit: Will you marry me? I got food stamps.

–Broadway, Astoria

Guy on cell: What? Yeahhh, her momma's been on welfare so long her food stamps bounced.

–3rd Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: nycpuhlease

20-year-old girl on cell: Yeah, I got the dress, it was like $100. I tried on matching pumas and I'm gonna go back to get those tomorrow. Hold on, I have another call.
(pause) Hello? Let me call you back, I'm on my way to pick up my welfare check.

–M2 Bus

Posted on November 26, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Family Ties, Food, Girls, Guys, Hobos, Jobs & Careers, Lower Manhattan, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Names, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Stupidity, Teens, Theater, Thugs, Train Station, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners?E I E I O

Cop to another: So she said, "see ya later, alligator." To which I retorted, "in a while, crocodile."

–Cunningham Park, Queens

Girl on cell: That was the day I woke up with the pigeon in my bed!

–Christopher St

Law school chick, stopping and staring at pigeon in her path: You go girl!

–East Village

Girl on intercom: Llama needed at the Oyster Bar ramp for a spill!

–Grand Central

Suit to friend: I mean, I don't understand. If people really want to pay like $30,000 to hunt them, I don't see what the problem is.

–Bronx Zoo

Curly grey-haired middle aged crafty lady: If you let them have sex with goats, they'll leave children alone!

–Crafts Fair, Red Hook Fairway

Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton

Posted on November 5, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Assholes, Astoria, Beastiality, Birds, Cops, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Kids, Money & Class, On Cell, One-liners, Store, Street, Students, Stupidity, Suits, The Bronx, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, West Village, Women

I Gotta Tell You, That Trash Can's Looking Pretty Good

Drunk chick: Apparently there are lots of guys here tonight who have slept with me that want to sleep with me again, and also a few here that have not slept with me that want to!
Friend: Really?
Drunk chick: Yeah! And it's a good thing I've changed, because if I hadn't, I'd be fucking everything in sight right now.

–Bathroom, Beer Garden in Astoria

Overheard by: ALi

Posted on October 25, 2008
Astoria, Bars & Clubs, Biotechs, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Promiscuity, Sex, Washington Heights and Inwood

Wednesday One-Liners– What the Fudge?

Professor, to deaf student's interpreter: Do you deal with "fuck" and "shit" and all that?

–Pratt Institute

Mother to bickering daughters: Let me tell you something: you two bags are the only motherfuckers I got left!

–21st St & 35th Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: Daniel Boris Dzula

Young woman in burqa on cell: And Jesus Christ! What the fuck was that bitch thinking?

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: ABrooklynBaby'sNanny

Girl on cell: And he said, "I am trying to learn here!" and I said, "fuck you!"

–112 & Broadway

Overheard by: Nathan

Hobo: I was in Nantucket when I lost my bucket! Then I said, "fuck it!"

–Union Square

Overheard by: Stacy

Woman crying to friend: I don't want to do the fucking SAG Awards!

–Bryant Park

Posted on October 22, 2008
Astoria, Brooklyn, Bryant Park, College, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Insults, Jesus, Moms, On Cell, Parks, Questions, Show business, Sisters, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Women

Debbie Does Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: No, mom, I'm not going to flag submissive at a fucking porn convention, pardon my French.

–170th St & Audubon Ave

Blonde to male companion getting off train: Good luck beating those kiddie porn charges!

–N Train

Overheard by: Marin M.

Straight-laced businessman on phone: It's because you won't stop downloading all that porn! If you quit, the popups won't come back.

–Ditmars & 37th, Astoria

Guy: They confuse me for a porn star; no, they don't confuse me with a porn star, they just think I'm a porn star because of my name!

–NYU

Tall thin statuesque black girl looking intently into white guy's eyes: Do you want an open relationship or just want to do porn?

–Midtown

Overheard by: toughchoice

Posted on October 15, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Astoria, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Internet, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, Porn, Questions, Relationships, Suits

I Heart NY. Now More Than Ever.

(girl flips off hecklers in a car)
Guy in car: Oh yeah, sweetie? Why don't you stick that up your ass?!
Girl: Maybe if I made it into a fist you'd want to stick it up yours.

–30th Ave, Astoria

Posted on October 3, 2008
Astoria, Backdoor, Default, Girls, Guys, Insults, Only in New York