Girl #1: … And then he texted me, ‘I hope all is well.’
Girl #2: Oh, well that was nice.
Girl #1: Nice? ‘I hope all is well’?! Does he mean, ‘I hope all is well now that I’ve scraped your vagina out’?!
Girl #2: Well, I mean, he is a used car salesman…
Girl #1: Oh my god. You’re right. Oh my god, I got fingered by a used car salesman!
–12th & University Pl
Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.
–A Train
Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?
–Halloween Adventure
Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!
–35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria
Overheard by: kathcom
Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!
–Downtown 6 Train
Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.
–Downtown 6 train
Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: J. Ra
Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.
–Soho
Overheard by: Edan
Girl: So, my dad friended me on Facebook the other day, and I was like “shiiit! Limit profile view!”
Guy #1: Are there that many incriminating things on your profile?
Girl: Not really.
Guy #2: So dad's not going to be attending Diane's “get drunk and dance” party?
–Downtown 1 Train
20-ish girl #1: My grandmother said chewing gum is illegal in Singapore.
20-ish girl #2: No way.
20-ish girl #1: Yeah, if they catch you they cane you! In public!
20-ish girl #2: That sucks.
20-ish girl #1: My grandmother says it’s an acquired taste.
–R train
Girl #1: My friends all say I should hook up with him because then I can say that I hooked up with someone from Poland.
Girl #2: You mean Portland?
Girl #1: Oh, right, I always get those two mixed up!
–46th & 7th
Drunk girl: So I wouldn't ask you this if I were sober, but I just have to ask. When you…yunno…are you generally the…penetree, or the…penetrant?
Gay guy: Uhm, you mean, the penetrated or the penetrator?
Drunk girl, laughing: Oh, right. Well. Damn. I mean, gay sex is supposed to be better in France, right?
–Kittichai Restaurant
Overheard by: Brandy
Girl: Have you seen my mom’s titties?
–A train
Overheard by: Matt Gossett
[Young black girl bumps into a young white girl rounding a corner.]Young black girl: Oh, I’m sorry miss, excuse me.
[Young white woman gives the young black girl a nasty look, and continues walking.]Young black girl: I don’t know why da fuck I use manners anymore.
–Lehman College
Young chubby girl: Oh, gosh! Another book with Taylor Lautner on the cover!
Young skinny girl, confused: What?
Young chubby girl: Taylor Lautner is on the cover of another book. You know? The guy from Twilight!
(long pause)
Young skinny girl: What?
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Elderly woman yelling at man looking at map: Where you going? What color is your train? Is it yellow or orange? This train is green. You should get on a red train. (singing) Red, orange, yellow, green, blue. Oh, and brown. Can't forget that. Just don't go to Brooklyn. No. No. No-o-o-o. Not there.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl on phone: My friend said that's probably why I don't like Brooklyn–because I have the night of the living dead outside my window…
–Amsterdam & 112th
Upper East Side man: If you really want to rough it, go to Brooklyn.
–84th & 2nd
Little girl shouting: Everyone in this entire building is going to Brooklyn!
–Grand Central
