Birthday girl: It's my birthday today!
Sales rep: Oh yeah? It's my brother-in-law's birthday today, too.
Birthday girl: Well, he must be totally awesome!
Sales rep: Yeah, he's in rehab for drugs.
–26th & Madison
Birthday girl: It's my birthday today!
Sales rep: Oh yeah? It's my brother-in-law's birthday today, too.
Birthday girl: Well, he must be totally awesome!
Sales rep: Yeah, he's in rehab for drugs.
–26th & Madison
Black guy to Asian girl passerby: Excuse me, I don't want to be rude, but I've always wanted to have sex with an oriental chick. So…can we get a room or something?
Asian girl: Uhm…it's “Asian,” not “oriental,” 'k? (she walks off)
–69th St & 5th Ave
White guy: Why does Beyonce sing “to the left, to the left”?
White girl: Why?
White guy: Because black people have no rights.
White girl: Isn't Beyonce, like, Latino?
–74th St & Lexington
Girl #1: Aww, she friend-dumped you?
Girl #2: Yeah, she friend-dumped me on Gmail!
–13th St & 3rd Ave
Random guy on street: You have a great day, beautiful lady.
Girl: Thank you.
Random guy on street: No, not you. Her! (points to the girl behind her)
–Waverly Place & 6th Ave
Brunette, after woman walks away from her: Oh great, now I can stick my hand up my skirt.
Blonde: Oh, perfect timing!
–Victoria's Secret, 86th St
Loud bridge and tunnel chick #1, reading the menu: Can someone translate this for me? What is “veal”?
Loud bridge and tunnel chick #2: Oh, oh, I've heard of that! It's a kind of fish.
–Serafina on Lafayette
Overheard by: Vivian Brodie
Suit on Bluetooth headset: You just lie on the ground and squeal like a pig!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Justin
Chick on cell: A theatrical fashion show of people in assless pleather chaps and pig masks…
–W 26th St b/w 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Ladle
Hipster chick: I love bulldogs; they're like little alien piglets.
–9th St & 2nd Ave
Sorority girl, walking dog, to friend: Didn't you have a pig you could squeeze and make poop come out?
–113th St b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Professor: Your mother is a pigfucker. Now, I hope you don't all go home and cry because I said that.
–Brooklyn College
Guy on cell: I'm walking to my room from breakfast. Then I'm going to take a dump. Then I'm going downstairs.
–Hallway, Marriott Courtyard Hotel
Barista walking in, to no one in particular: Unfortunately, I'm here.
–Starbucks, Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Robert
Lost tourist: We are stuck here in the middle of Times Square!
–Rockefeller Center
NYU girl on phone: Hello? No. No, I can't meet you. Because I'm lost. I'm lost in the West Village. You know how the streets there get weird? I have no idea where I am. I've been wandering around for hours and I don't know if I'll ever make it back, ever! No, don't try to find me, I haven't seen any street signs in ages. Okay, see you tomorrow…maybe not.
–Union Square
Loud black drag queen yelling into cell: Bitch, don't play with me! I know where you at!
(pause) Where you at?
–34th St & 8th Ave
Woman to friend: Childbirth is just really bad menstrual cramps, that's all!
–Varick St
Overheard by: Cool Breeze
Woman to toddler: Put the rest of the money back in the tampon box.
–14th St Subway Station
Overheard by: alex
Girl crossing street to friend: And then I had my period for a month!
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Wondering what kind of birth control she's on
30-something woman on cell: He said he didn't care, and pulled the tampon out of me.
–Bedford Ave & N 8th St
Overheard by: tamphex twin
Girl to guy: I thought I smelled alcohol, but it was just my menstruation.
–N Train
