Fun-Size Wednesday One-Liners

Jewish guy on cell: I finally got evangelized this week! (pause) It wasn't as much fun as I thought it was going to be.

–121st & Broadway

Lady on cell: Have fun with the… what do you call them… Oh, people!

—Shakespeare in the Park Line, Central Park

Overheard by: Megan W.

20-something male looking at painting: Hangings probably aren't as fun as they look.

–MoMa

Kid to his mother: Wow! The critics were right, this is the most fun you can have while sitting down!

–Outside Hairspray

Overheard by: DeDra

Posted on March 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Central Park, Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jews, Judaism, Kids, MoMA, Moms, Movie Theaters, Names, On Cell, One-liners, Theater, Visual Art, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Anything You Say Can and Will Be Used Against Wednesday One-Liners

Little boy to father, watching NYPD officers standing outside on horseback: Shit, yo! The cops is here!

–W 42nd St

Overheard by: Nikki

Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrians: We have sidewalks in New York. Try using them!

–Chinatown

NYC cop to pushy tourist: Don't touch me, I have no answers for you.

–Columbus Circle

Man to cop: When are you gonna learn that, man? People suck!

–Grand Central Station

Cop on horseback to pedestrian horse admirer: Don't get any closer to the horse, unless you want rabies.

–3rd St & Thompson

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on March 10, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Chinatown, Cops, Dads, Grand Central, Gripes, Illness, Insults, Kids, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Only in New York, Parents, Questions, Strangers, Street, The Village, Tourism, Tourists, Train Station, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Do Wednesday One-Liners Make You Hot?

20-something guy dressed as Edward Cullen for Halloween: So anyway, I walk in, and they are both sitting there, playing with each other's erections…

–Bedford Ave & Berry St

Overheard by: Marie Miller Barnes

Ginger kid in audience, as photo of awkward Asian teen sticking banana in his mouth is projected on movie screen: I am definitely aroused.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Joggers to another: Raging hard-ons!

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Katie

20-something girl to another: How could he not go out with you? I mean, you gave him a boner at Relay For Life!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Becca

Posted on March 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Dating, Erections, Fruit, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Horny, Kids, One-liners, Questions, School, Sex, Street, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

How Kids Learn to Offer Bribes

Little boy, whispering to brother: That's a cop. He can arrest people.
(brother starts tickling little boy)
Little boy: Arrest him! Arrest him!
Cop: Sorry, kid. I'm off duty.

–5 Train

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on March 9, 2010
Brothers, Cops, Crime and Punishment, Kids, On the Subway

Thomas Dolby: Science!

Child to father, on a sunny day on the train: Daddy, the train is moving, so how come the sun doesn't move at all?
Father, sounding sure of himself: That's cuz the sun moves so fast that it looks like it's not moving at all.

–F Train

Overheard by: GD

Posted on March 9, 2010
Astronomy, Dads, Kids, On the Subway, Parents, Public Transportation, Science

Jesus Christ, Aren't You Eighteen Yet?

Two-year-old boy: I see a saxophone! He's singing a saxophone!
Father: You don't sing a saxophone, you play a saxophone.
Two-year-old boy: That's not true!

–66th St

Overheard by: crazy cute.

Posted on March 8, 2010
Dads, Instruments, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Singing, Words

Supernanny Calls That “Time Out With Extreme Prejudice”

Dad to screaming kid: Stop screaming! Stop screaming! Do you want to go to time out?
Screaming kid to dad: It's too cold for time out!
Dad to screaming kid: Then we'll do it on the subway!
Screaming kid to dad: There's no time out on the subway!
Dad to screaming kid: There is if daddy leaves you on the train.

–42nd & 7th

Posted on March 8, 2010
Dads, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents, Public Transportation, Questions, Threats, Weather, Wishes & desires

Wendy's Bipolar Puberty Should Be Entertaining

Six-year-old girl, holding hands with her mom: It feels like we are going the wrong way.
Mother: I think we are going the right way.
Six-year-old girl: Yeah, it also feels like we are going the right way, at the same time. That's weird! (giggles) Sometimes, I feel sad and happy at the same time. Isn't that weird? (more giggles)
Mother: That's not weird, honey. Mommy often feels happy and sad; that's why I need my afternoon nap every day.
Six-year-old girl: I only want to be happy, mom.
Mother: Me too…

–6th Ave & 4th St

Overheard by: Brett