Managerial-looking guy in suit in lobby of movie theater: So let me get this straight. Your pregnant wife left in the middle of the movie, but you're still here.
Husband: Yeah, but I gave her cab fare.
–84th & Broadway
Managerial-looking guy in suit in lobby of movie theater: So let me get this straight. Your pregnant wife left in the middle of the movie, but you're still here.
Husband: Yeah, but I gave her cab fare.
–84th & Broadway
Husband: (smiles).
Angry wife (crossing her arms as she crosses the street): Shut up. I want you to walk 12 steps behind me.
Husband (putting his arms up making it look like he's praising god): Hallelujah!
–St. Benedicts Church, Bronx
Overheard by: nikki q
Middle aged lady on cell: Lots of people say Dallas is really nice. Lots of nice people, nice weather. What do you have against it?" (pause) That was in '63!
–M79
Party girl to cool guy: Why can't you let me be nice? I'm not nice to anyone.
–77th & York Ave
Overheard by: UES Suit
Flamboyantly gay guy to crowd of girls at Pinkberry: You know, I was just trying to do something nice, and this is how you treat me? Fuck y'all, I'm gonna be the next President. (storms off)
–St. Mark's
Overheard by: scarface
Garbage man to another: Man, Attica is the best prison. High class. That shit is nice!
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: eliza
Suit on cell: I wonder what his wife is like. She's probably nice, but rich. You know what I mean.
–2nd Ave & 88th St
Woman on cell: Nice people just can't tell if they're pregnant.
–W Houston & Varick
Overheard by: courtney messer
Teen girl on cell: What?! His name was "food stamps?"
–Outside W 4th St Train Station
Woman waiting in line for a free iced coffee at Dunkin' Donuts: Daaaayum… It's crowded in here, like at the welfare office!
–Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Matt
Thug (seeing the line for Dark Knight: Yo, this is longer than the welfare line!
–42nd St AMC Theaters
Overheard by: Angel
Drunk hobo in seriously bright yellow jump suit: Will you marry me? I got food stamps.
–Broadway, Astoria
Guy on cell: What? Yeahhh, her momma's been on welfare so long her food stamps bounced.
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: nycpuhlease
20-year-old girl on cell: Yeah, I got the dress, it was like $100. I tried on matching pumas and I'm gonna go back to get those tomorrow. Hold on, I have another call.
(pause) Hello? Let me call you back, I'm on my way to pick up my welfare check.
–M2 Bus
Drunken guy to stoned guy: I would kiss you, but you might remember.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Lo
Girl: And so he's like, "I kissed you on the mouth last night", and I'm like "oh really? I didn't know."
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: jaytro
Dude on cell: Yeah, bro, leave it to me. I decide to cheat on my wife and I end with some stupid whore who wants to play kissie-face in a fucking Newark parking lot.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: AdHoculi
Cute girl approaches frat boy at bar: I was going to pretend I don't know you, but I do know you, and now I think I want to kiss you. Is that okay?
–Clinton & Montague, Brooklyn Heights
Latina girl on cell: Well, my cousin died two years ago, right, and on the one-year anniversary that's when I kissed him.
–Outside Victoria Fashions, 116th & 3rd
Overheard by: Chuckles
Older German woman with accent: So when she was little she used to take a bunch of sleeping pills and lay on the floor, and she wouldn't get up until someone kissed her! It was so cute!
–1 Train
Overheard by: EthanK
Bearded man to hippie woman: I'm married, you're married, my ex-girlfriend's married, and we're holding hands!
Hippie woman: Weeeeee!
–University Place & 10th St
Overheard by: Murphy
Chick: You know, I call you and call you and you never answer. It's really annoying!
Dude: Well, I'm going to bed.
Chick: You're married?!
Dude: I told you that when I met you! I'm separated.
Chick: Where does your wife live?
Dude: We live together.
Chick: What? You're separated, but you live together?
Dude: Uh, yeah.
Chick: Does your wife know you're separated?
Dude: Yeah.
Chick: You told her you're separated? Or it's just understood?
Dude: Listen. At the end of the day, I'm kind of a dick.
Chick: At the end of the day, you think with your dick.
Dude: True.
–N Train
Guy: Yeah, but it's not that hard to keep your mother from having sex with you.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: V
Man, seriously: If I could marry my daughter I would.
–Duke's Deli, SoHo
Random moviegoer: I have to admit the incest was tastefully done.
–Outside IFC Center
Overheard by: when is it ever?
Suit on cell: I'm in love with my cousin.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sean C.
Very gay man to another: I don't know, I'm just not attracted to him at all! Maybe because he's my brother…
–Greenwich Ave & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Lily Caulfield
Man shouting to friend: Incest free for a whole three weeks! Yeah!
–1 Train
Man: What the fuck are you doing in here?
Woman: I'm sorry, I just had to pee.
Man: Holy shit! I can't fucking believe it. The first time I see my ex-wife in forty years is in a men's bathroom.
–Picnic House Men's Room, Prospect Park
Old black guy #1: Have you heard from Sheryl lately?
Old black guy #2: Yeah, she married a white boy.
Old black guy #1: Damn.
Old black guy #2: There ain't nothing wrong with white boys! She married Alan Thicke's son!
Old black guy #1: She married Alan Thicke?
Old black guy #2: No, man…Alan Thicke's son!
Old black guy #1: Wait, which one is Alan Thicke?
Old black guy #2: He's that white-ass nigga from Growing pains!
Old black guy #1: Damn!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jess
