Russian woman w/heavy accent: So you know it was arranged–like arranged marriage–and I marry him for dowry.
Friend, in disbelief: My goodness! For what? Like cows?
Russian woman: What cows? We live in the city! For money, I marry him for money.
–23rd St & Park Ave
Overheard by:
(short school bus is backing up)
Little boy (mimicking sound): Beep, beep, beep!
(cop car starts siren ten feet away)
Grown man (10 feet away from): Woop woop!
–25th St & Park Ave
Guy #1: Have you ever slept with my wife?
Guy #2: [laughs]
–19th & 5th
Overheard by: X
Twitchy dude to no one in particular: What? You selling something? What you selling? You all are devils! Devil worshipers! Bunch of devil worshipers! Devils, devils, devils! See you in hell! Oh…I won't be there, though.
–C Train
Hipster girl on cell: No, the black marks are from me cheating on you with Satan. (pause) Yeah, now I'm pregnant and he won't marry me.
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Louisa
Young guy on cell, about video game: I gave them my soul. I gave them my soul! See, my soul legally belongs to you, so you tricked them. (pause) Give him his soul! Give him his soul! What? What? Too late!
–93rd St, Bay Ridge
Screaming man with ashes on forehead to man walking past on Ash Wednesday: You're going to hell you motherfucker!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: BK
Woman on cell: Satan don't wear no panties, negro. That shit flies free.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Celia
Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
NYer: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
–23th & 5th
Woman: That’s a nice shirt!
Friend: Thanks! I never wear shirts — I think I’ll start wearing them more often!
–Restaurant, Gramercy
Guy #1 discussing recent State of the Union address: So, one person takes a drink every time he says ‘America,’ and the other person takes a drink every time he says ‘Iraq.’
Guy #2: Whoa…
–24th & 6th
Overheard by: erin
Hobo to passerby: Sir, can you spare a thousand dollars?
Passerby: Haha… Oh you’re serious.
–21st & 3rd
Overheard by: Paul
Guy: I don't think bees even have vaginas.
–23rd & 3rd
Suit to another: I want him scrutinized. At a gnat's ass level!
–Midtown Office
Middle school thug: I been radioactivatin' spiders in my kitchen.
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Mother to five-year-old boy: No, you can't buy grandma a plastic spider for Christmas!
–74th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane's Husband
Guy on cell: Hey, did I tell you I got drunk last night and ordered 1,500 ladybugs off the internet?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ashley
Suit on cell: You know, in the 80s everyone and their brother were making limos in their basement.
–17th & Broadway
Overheard by: Vespa
(obnoxious pimped-out car revs up at stop sign, then tears down the road)
Old guy: That guy's goin' back to the future! 88 miles per hour!
–9th & Stuyvesant
Tough-looking woman to younger one: Let me teach you how to break into a car…
–27th b/w 6th & 5th
Overheard by: Kyle
Russian guy on cell (in Russian): I am not seeing her as a woman, I am seeing her as a potential driver of a vehicle.
–Lower East Side
50-something woman: I haven't seen a good pimpmobile since the seventies. I mean, what happened to all the purple, maroon, and gold? What is all of this crap with yellow hummers and black Escalades these days, it's like all the pimps went to finishing school sometime in 1981.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Graham Davis
