Questions

…Yet Mysteriously Able to See Through Clothing.

Hobo to another: Ohh… Check that out! Hot white ass!
Girl in blue pants: Why are there so many drunken perverts in Central Park?
Friend (seriously): He's probably just color blind.

–Grand Central Station

Headline by: dwasifar

Runners-Up:
· “…Or, Knowing Your Ass, Just Plain Blind.” – EddieA
· “Because Let’s Be Honest, He Clearly Wasn’t Referring to That Wagon You’re Dragging.” – Wilkeson
· “Or It Could’ve Been the Ablino Donkey Behind You…” – Krikit
· “Smurfette Swore She’d Never Come Back to the City Again.” – 1310 (formerly SNA)
· “The White Pants…Always Keeping the Colored Pants Down” – California Dave

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Bruno Exceeds His Daily Civility Quota

Tourist: Is this our stop?
Helpful stranger: This train only got one stop!
Tourist: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know. This is my first time on a subway!
Helpful stranger: Then get the fuck away from me! I don't want no tourist cooties!

–S Train

Overheard by: Heather

But Taking You to Jersey Is Punishment Enough

Teenage girl: What stop do we get off at again?
Mom: Brick Church.
Teenage girl: What?
Mom: Brick Church.
Teenage girl: Brick?
Mom: Yes, as in “I want to throw a brick at you.”

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Sharing the Same Sentiment

Small Talk, New York Style

Black hobo to passing tourist: Where you from?
Tourist: Ireland.
Black hobo: You Irish?
Tourist: Yeah.
Black hobo: Well, god bless the Irish. And god bless the Italians. And fuck everyone else!

–8th Ave & 22nd St

Overheard by: Doug Tischler

Nothing Involving African Americans, Ma'am

Hoochie lady to friend: Hooooo! Girl! Close yo' legs! You stinking up the whole damn train!
(stranger laughs)
Friend to stranger: What you think is so funny, white boy?

–Metro North

Hence the Renowned A Tree Grows in Queens

Teenage hippie: Are we at Queens yet?
African American man: Yeah, duh.
Teenage hippie: How can you tell?
African American man: See those trees? Trees don't grow in Brooklyn. They only grow in Queens.

–J train

Overheard by: Charlie Zhen

Who Says Kids These Days Can't Keep Themselves Occupied?

Little boy #1: Where are we going?
Little boy #2: We're walking to Russia.

–33rd & 8th

Overheard by: Miss Sunita

M'am, That's Kind of Why He's in This Line-up in the First Place

Girl #1: What do you think?
Girl #2: Oh! He's kind of cute…except he looks kind of like a serial killer.

–Le Royale, West Village

Overheard by: Pierre Pierre

Headline by: Elise

Runners-Up:
· “Bloodstains Will Do That” – benji
· “Exactly What the Dexter Ads Were Aiming For” – Peter
· “Gossip Between Jurors at the Ted Bundy Trial” – ted bundy
· “OMG! If He Asks Me Out, I’ll Just Die!” – juls
· “The Hockey Mask Is a Nice Touch, Though.” – Sandy Paws
· “To Be Fair, She Said That About Almost Every Guy Tammy Set Her Up With Who Happened to Have a Swatstika Tattoo on His Forehead” – Rebecca Loeser
· “What With the Clown Make-up and All” – BabakganoosH
· “Why Girls Like Cats” – lucyconnuk
· “You Know, Kind Of a Lady Killer Type, Ya Know?” – c

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

I Don't Think This Is the Netherlands

Tourist #1: Are we in New York?
Tourist #2: I hope so.

–82nd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Native New Yorker

Instead of Just My Socks, Like Usual

Guy promoting comedy club: Hey ladies, you like comedy? Fuck Broadway, they're all run and acted by terrorists.
Girl passing by: Yeah? Well, if Jennifer Garner and Kevin Kline are terrorists I'll eat my own pants in Times Square!

–Broadway

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