Mom: So, when you send me a text message, is that free?
Twentysomething daughter: No.
Mom: Then stop texting me all the time!
Daughter: Oh, well it’s free for me. It’s just not free for you.
–D Train
Overheard by: NCS
Mom: So, when you send me a text message, is that free?
Twentysomething daughter: No.
Mom: Then stop texting me all the time!
Daughter: Oh, well it’s free for me. It’s just not free for you.
–D Train
Overheard by: NCS
Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: You are all sinners. Jesus Christ is coming and you are all going to be condemned to hell.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I’m Jesus.
Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: Jesus is coming and you all will be dining with Satan.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I’m already here. I’m Jesus.
Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: No you aren’t.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I’m telling you, I’m Jesus. How do you know I’m not Jesus?
NYU hipster: My lord! You have returned!
–6 Train
Parsons student #1: He always said he’d dump me if I cheated.
Parsons student #2: Do you really think he’d dump you?
Parsons student #1: I cheated five times.
Parsons student #2: Jesus.
Parsons student #1: I’m easily flattered!
–Loeb Hall, E 12th St
Girl #1: I don’t understand why he was so upset. It’s not like I was being insensitive or anything.
Girl #2: Are you serious? You asked him if he had aids!
Girl #1: Yea, but only because he said he was gay!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Timmy Lee
Asian girl: O-M-G, did you try the bull’s penis?! Was it big?!
Asian guy #1: Yeah, it was pretty nasty.
Asian girl, pointing to Asian guy #2: Oooh, he tried the cow’s tongue!
Asian guy #2: Uh, can we not talk about that?
–Famous Pizza, Kisseria Blvd, Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: Sajel
Headline by: KatieNB
Runners-Up:
· “Everybody Knows All the Best Asian Sex Clubs Are in Queens” – PeterG
· “Eww, He Ate the Tongue That Licked the Bull Penis That I Ate! That’s Like Hooking Up Indirectly.” – Whoscawatziz
· “Fear Factor Here = Food Network Over There” – Jimmy
· “One’s a Lifestyle Choice, the Other’s Just Sick” – Gerald Lanning
· “Penis, It’s What’s For Dinner!” – DR G LUV
Young guy to his friend: As least if she’s got diarrhea, I won’t need the lube.
Friend: Dude. That’s gross. Like I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
Guy: Well I mean it sounds gross and if you get past the smell, it’s pretty kick ass. Awesome texture man!
Friend: You’ve done this before?!
Guy: The first time, I didn’t want to. But afterwards, I was thinking of sneaking her laxatives cuz it was so rad. But dude! I lucked out, she has digestive issues!
Friend: What the hell did NYU do to you?
–F Train
Father, trying to drag young son into store: Come on! What’s the matter?
Son: The people in there are scary!
–Outisde Hot Topic
Overheard by: Penny Lane
Little boy holding pack of Orbitz gum: Mommy, is this kosher?
Mother: Sweetie, how many times do I have to tell you that we aren’t Jewish?
–Duane Reade, 50th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kyle
Big black guy: I thought she was goin’ to get an abortion?
Tiny Rican girl: Yeah, but she overslept and missed her appointment.
Big black guy: How do you miss an abortion appointment?!
Tiny Rican girl: Well she’s only seventeen, she’s not really responsible yet.
Big black guy, yelling: Well then maybe she shouldn’t have been thinking about sex yet! For Christ’s sake she missed her abortion appointment! What a whore!
–H&M, Brooklyn
Overheard by: SaraSil
Black girl #1: So why did you decide to come to New York?
Black girl #2: Because I hate white people.
–NYU
Overheard by: Cracker Apparently In the Wrong City
