Words

Professor: Old people will sign anything.

–Brooklyn College

Professor: What do you guys think of this poster? It annoys me. I would wear this on a t-shirt just to annoy people.

–Pratt Institute

Sociology professor: New York is a megalopolis, while Boston is only a metropolis, although Bostonites would argue that… Bostonites… Bostoners… Bostonians? Pshhh, whatever.

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Sromeo

Philosophy professor, drawing: Here is the world… Here are some birds… And people. Here’s someone… Here’s someone hitting someone with an ax. Some people do axings… Some people don’t.

–Fordham University

Overheard by: no axings!

Old professor with French accent: Hot climate is associated in this book with passion or sex. I think that I, for example, really never did have sex in a sub-zero temperature.

–NYU Cantor Film Center

Overheard by: suddenly surrounded by students’ awkward snickers

Sociology professor: I’ll tell you a story that most people laugh hysterically at, but it actually makes me really sad… Kind of like Napoleon Dynamite.

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Sromeo

Guy #1: I’m going to go get a brouhaha.
Guy #2: The brews are downstairs.

–Boat Cruise around Manhattan

Supermarket stock guy, screaming into cell while loading cheese onto shelves: Yo! What up, punk ass! Call me back punk ass bitch!
[Hangs up cell and breaks into chorus of that “Oh What a Night (December ’63)” song.]100-year-old male shopper: ’63? You’re not even old enough to remember ’63.
Stock guy: Man, I was born in ’60. July 1960.
100-year-old male shopper: Oh, ’60, huh? I served in Korea…

–20th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: LiAps

Wannabe gangster, on opposite Up escalator, watching couple in their mid-20s kissing on Down escalator: Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.
[Girl flashes a thumbs-up behind the guy’s back.]Wannabe gangster: Yo, that bitch is COOL!

–AMC Theatre, Times Square

Overheard by: just eating popcorn

Tourist #1: This is us.
Tourist #2: You sure?
Tourist #1: Yup, Cay-null Street.

–N train, Canal St station

Overheard by: sara n.

Chick #1: I didn’t call you fat.
Chick #2: Yes, you did! I remember it vividly! But it’s okay, ’cause I just forgot.

–34th & Broadway

Overheard by: may

Female attorney: Bush said that America will rebuild Lennon. Why should we? We didn’t bomb them. We have enough problems of our own to worry about. Bush is nuts!
Male attorney: Lennon’s been dead for over 25 years.

–Outside Civil Court, Queens

Overheard by: Big Larry

Girl #1: Yeah, I got a fake ID yesterday at 42nd Street.
Girl #2: Oh my god, let me see!
Girl #3: Yeah, I wanna see, too!
Girl #1: No way. We’re not passing it around. I’m not sketchy like that.

–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn

Tween boy, pointing at bumper sticker: Cool, Venezuela.
Guy unloading car: No, it says ‘Villanova.’
Tween: What’s that?
Guy: It’s a college.
Tween: Oh. [To himself] Is that in Venezuela?
Passerby: Yep.

–1st & 5th, Park Slope

Overheard by: Kate

Professor: So, the probability you’re dealing with a straight is determined by what comes out the back end here.

–Statistics lecture, Columbia University

Overheard by: Chuckles

Blonde hairstylist to male customer: Men are easy. I could do 15 men a day.

–Upscale hair salon

NYU professor about expertise involved in determining chicken gender: When was the last time you turned over a chick?

–NYU

Biology professor: Homo erectus? Homosapiens? I don’t know… So many homos.

–Wagner College

Overheard by: Catherine

Prim older lady: You guys could eat out. Also, you could go out for dinner… Yes, I’m twelve.

–Relish, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Ursula and Winifred