Guy #1: Dude, if you google “bunny porn” it will probably show up.
Guy #2: Good call.
–NYU’s Hayden Hall
Guy #1: Dude, if you google “bunny porn” it will probably show up.
Guy #2: Good call.
–NYU’s Hayden Hall
Cop: There are no downtown express trains! I repeat, there are no downtown express trains. If you have a problem with that, take it up with the President of the United States!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Trixie
Suit on cell: The problem with Canada is that it’s not the U.S.
–129th St, Harlem
Overheard by: Koen
Black guy on cell: Yeah, what is Condoleezza Rice, anyway? I think she’s Puerto Rican or Dominican. She’s definitely not American.
–Barnes & Noble, W 66th St
Black guy to white friend eating lunch: Ah, yes, the American dream: doing nothing while eating a sandwich.
–Stuyvesant High
Hobo: Thirty-two-gallon garbage can — who wants this beautiful 32-gallon garbage can? Made right here in the US-of-A! Come on, people! It’s an American product at Mexican prices. Now, what’s my first bid?
–4th Ave & Atlantic
Overheard by: Mike N
Large black lady on cell: I know, right? Osama bin Laden is like the Uncle Sam of America!
–CVS Pharmacy
Girl to friend: That’s the difference between you and me: I have camp and you have sex.
–Bard High School Early College
Female commuter to male commuter after he accused her of pushing onto train: Just be grateful you had someone to rub against on a Friday night.
–6 train
Overheard by: Carol
Bearded dude: If you can’t tell me within five seconds the most number of fingers you’ve ever had in a woman at one time, I don’t want to talk to you about sex.
–Whiskey Park, Central Park South
Overheard by: Argopelter
Guy on cell, talking to someone’s voicemail: Hi, it’s Reacharound. I’m on my way to the library, but let me know if you want to get dinner later.
–Houston & Sullivan
Overheard by: lish
Chick: Actually, I can’t think of anything that’s not a metaphor for sexual awakening.
–Starbucks, 44th & 9th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Perfume guy: Gucci! Gucci! Gucci’ll get you a hoochie!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: alison
Woman selling belongings on street: Look here, deodorant! Brand new! One dollar.
–44th, between Lex & 3rd
Hawker with "Cheney/Satan ’08" bumper stickers: Inappropriate stickers here!
–Outside Grand Central
Musician to passerby eating cookie: If you like cookies, you’ll love my new album!
–9th & 6th
Overheard by: Gil
AM New York lady to another: Bitch, don’t be comin’ over here! AM New York, people — get your AM New York! Fuck you, you bitch, I been here since seven AM every day this week. Don’t be givin’ me that shit. Get your lazy ass off my corner ‘fore I cut you! Fuck you, bitch! Fuck you! AM New York, people, AM New York…
–Penn Station
Overheard by: BJ
Comedy hawker: Free bag of marijuana with your purchase! Yaaay!
–43rd & 7th
Overheard by: Sarah R
Girl: God, there’s nowhere in the Lower East Side to order wine!
Guy passerby: Turn around.
Girl: No, I mean, like, in a bar.
–Outside ‘inoteca Wine Bar, 98 Rivington
Hippie kid: Hey, man, do you know which way North is?
Club kid: Wow, I’m bad with directions…
Hippie kid: So, does that mean you don’t know how to get to 15th Street?
Club kid: Oh, yeah! I can give someone the right directions for once! It’s that way [points to 13th Street.
–14th & 8th
Girl: I haven’t done anything fun this summer. I’m so bored.
Guy friend: Go hunting. Man hunting.
–6 train
Customer: Maybe you should just quit your job.
Employee: Maybe you should just shut the fuck up!
–PATH train, 125th St
Overheard by: vegannramember
Professor: So, the probability you’re dealing with a straight is determined by what comes out the back end here.
–Statistics lecture, Columbia University
Overheard by: Chuckles
Blonde hairstylist to male customer: Men are easy. I could do 15 men a day.
–Upscale hair salon
NYU professor about expertise involved in determining chicken gender: When was the last time you turned over a chick?
–NYU
Biology professor: Homo erectus? Homosapiens? I don’t know… So many homos.
–Wagner College
Overheard by: Catherine
Prim older lady: You guys could eat out. Also, you could go out for dinner… Yes, I’m twelve.
–Relish, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Ursula and Winifred
Bus driver to lady at stop: There are three more buses behind me! They like to stick together! They don’t like to be alone!
–B41 bus
Bus drive: Next stop, Queensborough Community College — where dreams come true. If you ever thought of going back to college, but are too scared, thinking, ‘Oh, I’m too old,’ well, you should go to school. Now arriving at QCC… And remember, knowledge is power.
–Q27 Bayside bus
Overheard by: Caro-kun
Bus driver, about traffic jam: Ladies and gentlemen, Fifth Avenue will be the next stop. We will be arriving in seven to ten days. [Minutes later] Attention! The waiter will be around shortly to take your dinner orders. The next crosstown movie will be Gone with the Wind.
–M79 bus
Bus driver: Does anyone know the route once we get to the airport? If you do, please step forward.
–M60 bus to LaGuardia
Overheard by: Stephen B.
Bus driver to woman running towards the stop as the bus slows down: Calm down, lady! There isn’t any crack that way! Relax!
–Atlantic Ave
Bus driver, as passengers are disembarking: Leave my kingdom. Education is just two minutes away.
–B1 bus, Kingsborough College
Overheard by: Robert
