Slightly older and hairier gay: So, just to be clear, you do realize that you are a total twink, right?
Slightly younger and hairless gay: Duh. And I'm gonna ride that train all the way to free-drink town.
–E Train
Slightly older and hairier gay: So, just to be clear, you do realize that you are a total twink, right?
Slightly younger and hairless gay: Duh. And I'm gonna ride that train all the way to free-drink town.
–E Train
Train conductor: East Broadway, welcome to Manhattan. Especially you, tourists, you put my wife on the table–I mean, uh…my food.
–F Train
Overheard by: penelope
Petite 30-something washing clothes: Oh, no! His wife's gonna be there. I gotta get some razor blades.
–Laundry Mat, Broadway & Bushwick, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Matt
Middle aged suit to another: So the main problem my girlfriend and I have is that I really get along with my wife.
–A Train
Overheard by: Suzi
Thug to friend: There's just one thing I want people to say about my wife. Not that she's pretty, or that she's nice. I want them to say, "man, that nigga's wife's got a fat ass!"
–Grand Concourse
Cop to crowd: I suggest you use the other crosswalk, it's less congested. Stay here, risk your life…over there, save your wife!
–Radio City Music Hall
Man on cell: You don't love your wife?! (pause) Fuck you!
–42nd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Amina
Man walking in to immigration center to immigration security guard: You look very elegant today.
–Immigration Application Support Center, Queens
Lady: Oh my gosh, Casey looks so good! You would never know that he's blind!
–W 20th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Katie AK
Slightly tipsy elderly suit: Do you know where I can find a beautiful woman? Someone to spend the rest of my life with?
–Metropolitan Museum Info Desk
A Capella group leader, walking into train: Ladies and gentlemen, happy Thursday. We are a Doo Whop group and we are here to entertain you. If you like what you hear, show us some love. If you are miserable, hell, add more fiber to your diet. This Sunday, we will be saluting the best-looking people on the subway. Have a fiberrific day!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Em Allears
Ghetto black chick after someone took a picture of her: Did you get all the beautifulness?
–Saks Fifth Avenue
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Well-dressed black girl to well-groomed black standard poodle with owner: Oh, look at your nice hair! You work it girl!
–22nd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Tigertail
Middle-age woman to overgroomed poodle, as it takes a dump in the middle of the sidewalk: Ohhhhh! Charlie, that's looking a bit creamy! Yum, yum! (pause as the dog sniffs his mess) No, don't eat it!
–14th St & University Place
Overheard by: Bee
Crazy hobo in wheelchair, to small dog on leash passing by: Meow. Meow! Meow!
–Union Square
Large black man to his shaggy dog: Just because it's there doesn't mean you can pee on it. That's a nice bike!
–9th St & 50th St
Overheard by: EmGusk
Man trying to control his barking dog: No! No anxiety! Bad dog! No anxiety!
–St. Mark's & Ave A
Overheard by: french bulldog with narcissism
Girl: Yeah, he was cute and really nice, but he's not my type.
Guy: Why?
Girl: Well, he's from Brooklyn!
Guy: Oh.
Girl: Obviously.
–Upper West Side
Dude: That guy with the tattoo on his elbow was gorgeous.
Chick: I didn't see his face.
Dude: He looks like a scumbag.
–57th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Marie
Random guy on street: You have a great day, beautiful lady.
Girl: Thank you.
Random guy on street: No, not you. Her! (points to the girl behind her)
–Waverly Place & 6th Ave
Guy at party: I'm known for my creepy hugs.
–16th St & Union Square
Overheard by: Kitty
Hobo: Okay, you know the drill. I'm hungry, give me money so I can buy breakfast.
(nobody does) Alright, if you don't want to give any money, if you're reasonably attractive, hug a brotha! That works too.
–F Train
Panhandler: Any little bit helps, folks. Pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters. If you don't have any money this morning and you're, like, really attractive, you can just give me a big hug and rub up on me a little bit, and we'll call it even.
–F Train
Overheard by: kdice
Woman's voice on public announcement system: You want me to hug you?
–Port Authority
Ghetto Latina, seeing MTA worker hug crying bag lady: Shit, I'm from the Bronx, born and raised, and I ain't never seen no subway man be giving out free hugs. I seen shouting matches, I seen drug deals, I seen fist fights, but I ain't never seen no free hugs in a subway station. That's some fuckin dedication right there.
–59th St. Subway Station
Overheard by: slc boy
Subway panhandler: If you don't have any food, but you do happen to be, like, incredibly good looking, I do accept hugs. (middle aged man with L.L.Bean backpack smiles and holds his arms open invitingly) I'll have to give you a raincheck on that one, sir.
–F Train
Overheard by: linda
Girl #1: That's a cute dress. Are you going to wear it with leggings.
Girl #2: I don't own leggings.
Girl #1: Why not?
Girl #2: Because I'm not an asshole.
–Penn Station
Fat girl at bar: Be hot, be educated, bend me over. That's all I want.
–Kenny's Castaways
Overheard by: Richard
Conductor (bitchily): Ladies and gentlemen, if you think the car you are in is too hot, feel free to get up and move!
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Teenage girl to friend: Yeah, right, like, "Hi, I took the school bus with you in elementary school. Now you're really hot." (both laugh)
–Hunter College High School
Overheard by: Rosebud
Man on phone: Hey man, she was hot. But listen, don't tell her I have a girlfriend, okay?
–5th Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: i'm going to break it to her gently
Teenage girl on cell: Yes, I know you're not supposed to take pills from people you don't know, but he was so hot! And then I think I had sex with him.
–Chinatown Bus Station
Overheard by: Emily
