Good Luck Explaining This to the E.R. Doc, Wednesday One-Liner

Ghetto lady on phone waiting for bus: Ugh. I'm exhausted. I don't have the energy to stick my hands up your ass.

–Hunts Point

Dude on cell: I think he's the same guy who stuck the jar up his ass. (pause) Well, because the camera angle was the same, and the scar…

–108th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Drunk gay man speaking to straight couple: So I'm at the wedding talking to my future cousin-in-law about how it's not gay if he likes things in his ass, and he said that's not his problem, his problem is asking her to cut her fingernails.

–26th b/w 9th & 10th

Female suit on cell: There was something going into that butt, did I not mention that?

–10th & Hudson

Posted on April 1, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Ghetto Chicks, Grocery Stores, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Marriage, On Cell, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Suits, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, West Village

Believe Me, You’re Better Off Not Knowing

Girl: You know what I really hate?
Guy: What?
Girl: Gays, queers. You know, that kind of stuff.
Guy: Ah…but you watch yaoi.
Girl: So?

–Odessa, Avenue A

Overheard by: allison

Posted on March 19, 2018
Assholes, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Pop Culture, Union Square and East Village

Until I Fuck You with a Strap-On at Intermission

Girl #1: I was so impressed with him! He immediately identified me as bi. No one else had ever done that before.
Girl #2: I know. When I came out three months ago, I called everyone I knew, and they were all surprised.
Girl #1: And here we are at Hamlet, sitting here in dresses! No one will ever suspect!

–Delacorte Theater, Central Park

Posted on March 6, 2018
Central Park, Clothing, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Sexuality, Theater, Theater & Dance

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Know How to Quit You

Young queer on cell, laughing: I mean, what is he going to blackmail me with?

–9th & 47th

Overheard by: wondering

Older queer to boyfriend: There's nothing like listening to Bach after having sex!

–W 72nd St, Record Store

Overheard by: I'll have to try that sometime…

(40-something gay guy is looking through a clearance rack of mismatched outerwear under sign that reads "Big and tall active bottoms")
60-something gay guy, yelling: Good luck, dahling, you're in the wrong section. Find where the big desperate bottoms are and try that!

–KMart, Penn Station

Overheard by: RoverUSA

Gay black man to whimpering toddler held by mother: Don't even start with me… Thank the Lord you ain't my kid.

–M15 Bus

Young, good looking gay guy to much older ugly boyfriend: My ex-boyfriend always bought me presents…

–86th St & Lexington

Posted on February 22, 2018
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Black People, Boyfriends, Bus, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Gays and Lesbians, Gifts, Harassment, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Old People, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Penn Station, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, Singing, Store, Street, Threats, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesday One-Liners Too Ashamed to Wear Last Year's Blahniks

Lady looking at another woman's Roman sandals: I don't like those Jesus-lookin' sandals!

–The Village

Girl: Do flats make your butt look big?

–9th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Matt Morgan

Guy with faux-hawk: You know in Pee-wee's Big Adventure, after he loses his bike and everyone around him is riding bicycles? I feel that way with high-tops right now.

–14th & 1st

Overheard by: Heather

(trendy, skinny, Upper West Side woman on sidewalk is staring down at her feet and looking concerned)
Preppy 30-something boyfriend: I think your toes look better in those sandals.

–86th & Broadway

Overheard by: Sushene

Girl: My uncle is gay, like, flying-out-of-his-loafers gay.

–W 67th & Broadway

Overheard by: magical-newyork.blogspot.com

Female cop to two male cops: So he's standing there, really well dressed, nice shoes, and all of a sudden he pulls out this big, big (voice drops) boner, and says "Give me the shoes!"

–Continental Ave Station, Forest Hills

Posted on February 11, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Cops, Coworkers, Farting & Burping, Fashion, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Jesus, Movies, Offers and requests, Physical appearance, Preppies, Queens, Questions, Shoes, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women, Words

I Was Born a Wednesday, but I Identify With One-Liners

Guy to girlfriend and friend: Goddammit, neither one of you is a gay man trapped in a woman's body.

–8th & 9th

Overheard by: cracking up

Girl on cell: Are all she-males gay? Cause if they're into women, sign me up.

–Astor Place

Teen on cell: Dudes have, like, purses here…

–110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Al-master

Guy to friend: She's not a tranny, but she's, y'know: tran-y.

–Grand St & Bedford Ave

Overheard by: KateM

Man on cell: You and I are both complex women. It's more complicated than that.

–21st St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Ben

Posted on February 10, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Fashion, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girlfriends, Guys, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Sexuality, Street, Teens, The Village, Trannies, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Without Politics, There’d Be a Lot More Switch-Hitting

Queer: I should have gotten her number for you, but at the bar last night this woman walked in… She was seriously hot. Like, seriously. And I’m pretty sure the breasts were real.
Friend: But you’re gay.
Queer: Yeah, but I would have considered going straight for her. That’s how hot she was.

–NYU

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Posted on January 24, 2018
Beauty, Compliments, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, NYU, Queer guys, Rack, Wishes & desires

You Can't Wear That Kind Of Silk Ascot and Not Be at Least Bi

Hobo to girl who just gave him a two-dollar bill: Would you look at that, two dollars! Thomas Jefferson is on this bill. He was a queen. That's right, he was a gay old faggot.
(girl walks away very quickly) Do you want to help me and Thomas Jefferson go to Hawaii? That's right! Hawai-iiiiiii!

–13th & 6th

Posted on December 31, 2017
Crazies, Crazy, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hobos, Money & Class, Panhandling, Weirdness

You're Gonna Get an Electron Complex

Girl #1: I think I want to take advanced physics.
Girl #2: What? That's math and science.
Girl #1: I know.
Girl #2: Together.
Girl #3: That's gay.

–Queensborough Community College

Posted on December 18, 2017
College, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, School and studying, Science, Wishes & desires

Don't Lesbians Keep Nuts Away from Their Ears?

Sporty teen girl: So, I'm pretty sure Amy* is a lesbian. She never straightens her hair, and she always wears those coconut earrings…
Blonde friend: You wear coconut earrings.
Sporty teen girl: Yeah, but not every day!

–Central Park

Posted on November 28, 2017
Central Park, Fashion, Gays and Lesbians, Gossip, Parks, Physical appearance, Teens

Gays and Lesbians