Wednesday One-Liners for Joe the Plumber

Glum construction worker, singing slowly: We will…we will…not get paid.

–Caton Place

Overheard by: Cottonfluff

Hardhat to another: You got a rash on yo ass, know what I'm sayin?

–12th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: j

Construction worker to friends, watching girl in a bubble dress walk down the street: Damn, yo, I hate those skirts, yo. That's the stupidest shit I ever seen.

–13th St & 5th Ave

Construction worker to group of girls walking past, carrying food bags: Want to grab lunch?
(girls ignore him) Dinner? Breakfast? (girls continue to ignore him, so he yells at them) Just a snack, then?

–Prince Street

Overheard by: Courtney Messer

Eastern European construction worker to pigeon: You! Yes, hey you! Eat this! Is good for you! Will put hair on your balls! Yes, eat, eat!

–23rd & 1st

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Posted on December 10, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Balls, Birds, Blue-collar workers, Brooklyn, Clothing, Coworkers, Food, Friends, Girls, Hair, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Pick-up Lines, Soho, Street, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Plug-and-Play Wednesday One-Liners

Female tv & radio producer: I don't understand how women can have kids today when there are Blackberries.

–Bloomberg

Overheard by: Yalie09

Man to woman at bar: That's the beauty of freezers!

–Bar, 13th St

Woman, to nobody in particular: Excuse me, but does anyone know how to use a Blackberry? I just got it today.

–Long Island Railroad

Girl on cell: It's not my fault, it's the technology.

–W Houston & Hudson St

14-year-old boy to mother: She spends hers on books, markers; on beads for her hair; I spent mine on this PDA to organize my life!

–F Train

Overheard by: ap.scigaj

Posted on December 10, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Blackberry, Books & Writing, Computer, Fashion, Gadgets, Girls, Hair, Kids, Long Island, Men, Moms, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Soho, Store, Stupidity, Teens, Weirdness, Women

The Voters Have Spoken

Guy: Want to come back to my place?
Girl: I thought you had a girlfriend.
Guy: I told you, I just haven't broken up with her yet!
Girl: Fine, but you still have a girlfriend.
Guy: Fuck that. I still have a girlfriend only in the same sense that Bush is still President.

–Blue & Gold

Overheard by: true…

Posted on December 9, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Breaking Up, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Insults, President, Relationships, Sex, Union Square and East Village

Elina from America's Next Top Model Finally Puts Herself in Perspective

Girl #1: Can I stay at your place tonight?
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I met this guy and he's like stalking me. He almost choked me when we were fooling around.
Girl #2: Oh my god! Sure!
Girl #1: Yeah, he keeps calling me. He calls me Angelina Jolie.
Girl #2: You are not that hot.
Girl #1: I know.

–Bathroom, NYU

Posted on December 8, 2008
About Celebrities, Girls, Harassment, NYU

There's a Reason Some Stereotypes Exist.

Bodega counter guy, to girl walking up to buy beers: Fuckin shit! Oh, pardon my language miss. Watch your mouth boys, there's a lady!
Girl: Dude, I'm buying two double Pabst and rolling tobacco, say whatever the fuck you want,
Patron in line behind her: This is Brooklyn, ain't no ladies here.

–Grove & Broadway, Brooklyn

Posted on December 7, 2008
Bosses, Brooklyn, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Insults, Smoking

I'm Beginning to Rethink Our Friendship

Guy #1: I can't believe you didn't go home with him. You're anti-sex.
Girl: He's a commuter! I'm not anti-sex! I'm anti-finding my way home from the suburbs.
Guy #2: You'd make a terrible hooker.

–54th & 9th

Overheard by: Bubbles

Posted on December 7, 2008
Girls, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Prostitution, Sex

Yeah? Just Keep Your Force to Yourself, Then.

Girl: You have a rubber, right?
Guy (in Darth Vader voice): I find your lack of faith disturbing…

–Washington Square Park

Posted on December 7, 2008
Girls, Guys, Movies, Questions, Washington Square Park

Mary Magdalene Is Crushing Big-Time

20-something girl #1: He's just so, like, passionate, you know? Like, he asked me what colors I like, and I said “blue,” and he said I would look really good in blue.
20-something girl #2: Wow.
20-something girl #1: I know. He's just like, so…moral.

–32nd & Lexington

Posted on December 7, 2008
Colors, Girls, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Stupidity

It's Almost Ready for Solid Foods

Chick, pointing to mole on friend's arm: Hey, so how's that cancer going for you?
Friend: Oh my god! It's developing!

–St. John's University, Queens

Posted on December 7, 2008
Body Parts, Cancer, College, Friends, Girls, Queens, Weirdness

But I Can't Stop 'Til I Can Cut Glass With My Ribs

Ditzy chick: So are you even hungry at all?
Ditzy skinny chick: Not really, no.
Ditzy chick: I can't believe you haven't eaten in nine days!
Ditzy skinny chick (excitedly): I know!! I can't believe some people do this for 30 days, though. I think that's unhealthy.
Ditzy chick: I wish I could've done it with you. It was just a bad week to start, I was too stressed to not eat.
Ditzy skinny chick: It's okay. This is my second try, anyway. I couldn't follow the program the first time either. Although I'm gonna have a hard time on Friday. I have a date. When he takes me to dinner what am I gonna say? “Thank you, but I can't order anything tonight. Can I just have one bite of your pasta?”?

–M101 Bus

Overheard by: Alayne

Posted on December 6, 2008
Dating, Diet/Weight, Food, Girls, On the Bus, Questions, Skinny People

Girls