20-something tourist chick, screaming: I love New York!
20-something preppy black guy: Well, it doesn't love you back, so shut the fuck up.
–7th Ave & W 55th St
Overheard by: KC
20-something tourist chick, screaming: I love New York!
20-something preppy black guy: Well, it doesn't love you back, so shut the fuck up.
–7th Ave & W 55th St
Overheard by: KC
Young black man, pointing to young black woman's reusable Trader Joe's bag: Where'd you get that?
Young woman: I don't know.
Young man: That's where white people shop, yo.
–Jamaica Ave & Parsons
Overheard by: white person
Guy outside NY Life building: You have to entrance a man with your pussy… or your voice.
–26th & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Seeking Dating Advice
Ghetto guy to date: I eat pussy for 40 minutes!
–The Frying Pan
Overheard by: Aly
Irate woman on cell: I ain't a size two anymore! This shit be hurtin my ass, and my vah-jay-jay!
–6th Ave & 38th St
Girl to another: If you were a stranger, I'd punch you in the vagina.
–D Train
Father to teenage son: There will be plenty more pussy to come, you just need to get your swagger back.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mister Pants
Rich girl: So yeah, we just got back from the club.
Black guy: Oh, yeah?
Rich girl's friend: Um, excuse me…
Black guy: Excuse me! I'm talking to her, not you. You're the ugly one, remember?
(phone rings) Yo. Hey, man. Oh, nothin'. Just talking to a couple white hos.
Rich girl's friend: What?
Rich girl: Stop bein' such an ugly white ho, Danielle.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Just another white ho.
Hobo: Everyone, please believe me, I had nothing, I tell you–nothing, to do with this rain!
–6 Train
Overheard by: thanks for that clearing that up
Black guy sitting on stoop to white guy standing the rain: I can't offer you a warm vagina but I can offer you a dry haven.
–1st Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: D Dot
Hobo to sky, as it begins to rain: You gotta do better than drizzling if you want to flood the Earth! We got murders and rapists down here! There are pedophiles and traffickers and thieves and liars and idolaters! I'm ready: I got the life goggles you sent me! (holds up scuba mask) Thank you for making me in your image, Lord. Amen.
–24th St b/w Broadway & 6th Ave
Overheard by: EmLo
Man, as it begins to rain: Goddamn rain, man! Only in New York!
–Park Place & Broadway
Overheard by: Bo Vanderpants
Woman on cell: Yeah, the weather is beautiful this morning. I'm strolling like a motherfucker.
–Lexington & 90th St
Ghetto mother, about daughter: She hard on herself when it comes to her grades. That comes from her father. I told him, "you better stop that, or else you're gonna bust her brain."
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Raven
Truant girl on cell: I didn't! (pause) No, I didn't! (pause) I didn't skip! (pause) I didn't go! It's not the same thing! (pause) No, it isn't! (pause) I didn't go anyplace! I didn't go to somebody's house or nothing! (pause) It's not the same! I didn't skip! I just didn't go! (pause) No, it's not the same! It is not!
–8th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: stephie
Proctor, seeing a student come into testing room: Hey, aren't you that kid who was smokin' yesterday? Oh, yeah, that's right, you're the one that flipped me the bird! Now I have yo' name and yo' ID numba, and I can call up yo' parents… Today is just my lucky day!
–Stuyvesant High School
Long Island guy: I can't wait to get back to college. The girls there are so hot. I can't wait to get my DNA on em, know what I'm sayin'?
–LIRR
Indian chick on cell: What's good? I'm not taking Hindi anymore, that's what's good! Hellll fuckin yeahhh! Whoooo!!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: me neither
Stringy black jazz singer #1, watching BBW woman squeezed into barbie-pink tiny jeans: Damn!!!
Stringy black jazz singer #2: Oh mah gawddd!
Stringy black jazz singer #1: Daaaaaammmnnnn!!!
Stringy black jazz singer #2: Ooooooohh maaaahhh gaaaawwwwwddddd!
–Washington Square Arch
Black thug #1, holding Indiana Jones dvd: Damn, son, look how young and fly and hip that nigga Harrison Ford was. That shit made his career, son!
Black thug #2: I dunno, man. I don't like a white dude with a whip.
–Best Buy
Overheard by: rob
Large black woman: Don't you want to sit down? You don't have a good balance.
Old Jewish man with walker: Not true! Last night, at around two am, a fairy came to me and said I had good balance!
Large black woman, shrugging: Alriiight!
–N Train
Overheard by: zach
Ditzy bonde: So, like, you remember those two guys from the bar last night?
Sensible black chick: Yeah.
Ditzy bonde: I fucked 'em both! One after the other. Bam! Bam!
Sensible black chick: Jesus, Diane*! They wore condoms, riiight?
Ditzy bonde thoughtfully: Well, they were still dribbling out of me this morning… So no!
–Union Square Station
Overheard by: Bart Simpson's shudder
