Cute girl on Penn station escalator: I dipped my dim sum in her tears!
–NJ Transit
Man in running gear on cell: I never get to, but I'm going to try again. I just hope I don't cry!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Daniel
Girl to friend: I cried so hard it went down and under my armpit.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: porter
Bartender: I'll bet he cries when he masturbates.
–MacDougal & W 3rd
Overheard by: Greg
Woman to friends: My vagina is leaking tears right now.
–5th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Zoe
Guy blocking overcrowded subway car to elderly woman trying to squeeze by: Hey! You could say "excuse me!"
–Uptown N Train
Woman, eating falafel: I'm trying to stay away from fried foods.
–40th St
Five foot, 250-pound woman to friend: Wow! That girl in front of us is fat!
–42nd & 8th
Man on cell: Maybe you're the one with the fucking anger problem! Dick!
–Outside The Met
Overheard by: Yellow!
Drunk to Asian guy: Tell me, why is it that when Asians get in street fights, they never use their martial arts?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Fonvielle
Waiter: Please let me know if you have any food allergies. We ninjas don't like to kill by accident; we only kill on purpose.
–Ninja Japanese Restaurant
Little boy to grandfather: Hey grandpa, are you a black belt or any kind of ninja?
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jess
Health care worker: I'ma kill that ninja!
–Brooklyn Health Center
Guy: So I'm like, "can I get a lighter?" and she pulls out two, and one is literally a penis with the flame coming out the tip, and the other one is a guy doing one of these moves, and the guy's like a tripod. So I'm like, "can I get one in a normal color?"
–Chinatown
African American man describing Indian restaurant to friend: That'll put fire in yo' ass.
–Midtown
Man to stranger: Hey, can I borrow you lighter? I need to go melt something in the bathroom.
–Jamaica Station
Overheard by: Tim
Conductor: Once again, there is nothing on fire! We got it under control. We apologize for the smoke. Next stop is Newark airport. There is nothing on fire.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Where there's smoke
Guy: I hope you got a fuckin' Dixie Cup, 'cause that's what you're gonna need to hold it!
–42nd & 5th
Middle aged suit, to no one in particular: Spoon! Spoooon! Spooooon!
–Au Bon Pain, Broad St
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Young guy with backpack to young wife: Teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup.
–Sheridan Square
Crazy hobo on subway: Hey you! Did you take my spoon? I know you took my spoon! Why would you do that to a guy?
–Uptown 3 Train
Overheard by: Scared British Tourist
Indignant yuppie: I wanted to stab her with a fork! It's a good thing we were at a sushi restaurant.
–69th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Little girl: Mommy, my tummy hurts!
Mom: That's what happens when you only eat nachos and Shirley Temples.
–74th & Columbus
Girl on cell drinking frozen lemonade: No, mom. The frozen lemonade is not going to be my dinner. I'm going to go home and make myself something healthy. Love you! (hangs up)
Friend: Is that gonna be your dinner?
Girl: No! I'm gonna go home and make…
Friend: I love how honest you are with your parents.
Girl, interrupting: Some motherfuckin' nachos.
–86th & 5th
Woman on cell: He was here for ten days and he only touched my boobs twice!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: and my girlfriend would be upset if it were 10 minutes
Old thug passing three fat chicks on their way to a club: Explosion of titties!
–Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn
Hipster barista guy: A boob is just a moisturized bag of skin, seriously!
–Think Coffee
Overheard by: its to early for this conversation
Full-on punk guy: Dude! Shit is so good! I just want someone to squirt tahini all over my tits!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Dahlia
Girl on phone: Wait! What? No! Well, I do shit a lot. But I don't want to shit my boobs away!
–Times Square
Girl: I'm in the mood for chicken.
Guy: Teriyaki chicken?
Girl: No…
Guy: Chinese Teriyaki chicken?
Girl: No…
–53rd & 6th
Overheard by: Pooja
Tourist: So what the difference between hummus and falafel?
Guy at counter: Well… one is hummus, and the other is falafel.
–Mamoun's Falafel, MacDougal St
Overheard by: Tacologic
