Suit, embarrassed after tapping man on shoulder: … Sorry, I thought I knew you [starts to walk away].
Man he tapped: I’m your cousin!
–New York Public Library
Suit, embarrassed after tapping man on shoulder: … Sorry, I thought I knew you [starts to walk away].
Man he tapped: I’m your cousin!
–New York Public Library
Suit on cell: You know, in the 80s everyone and their brother were making limos in their basement.
–17th & Broadway
Overheard by: Vespa
(obnoxious pimped-out car revs up at stop sign, then tears down the road)
Old guy: That guy's goin' back to the future! 88 miles per hour!
–9th & Stuyvesant
Tough-looking woman to younger one: Let me teach you how to break into a car…
–27th b/w 6th & 5th
Overheard by: Kyle
Russian guy on cell (in Russian): I am not seeing her as a woman, I am seeing her as a potential driver of a vehicle.
–Lower East Side
50-something woman: I haven't seen a good pimpmobile since the seventies. I mean, what happened to all the purple, maroon, and gold? What is all of this crap with yellow hummers and black Escalades these days, it's like all the pimps went to finishing school sometime in 1981.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Little boy watching a man: What the fuck?
Mother, reading a newspaper: You better watch your mouth today, little boy!
Little boy: But mommy, he keeps banging his head on the pole!
Mother, watching the man: What the fuck?
–F Train
Overheard by: It looked painful.
Large black woman to another: So I said to him, "Muthafucka, don't you know a baby comes out of that shit? Ain't nothing you got down there gonna hurt me!"
–Fulton St
Old man with thick Russian accent: It is fresher than a baby's bottom!
–Ave M & E 16th, Brooklyn
Ghetto black guy on phone: Nah, I was locked up, but I'm out now, and she's tryin' to say it's my baby, but that shit ain't mine.
–Downtown 2 Train
Man on cell, passing adorable child playing with dog: I love fucking babies!
–10th & 53rd
Puerto Rican girl to pregnant friend: You feel like you have to poop, but that's just the baby.
–36th St & 34th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Bryan Bruner
Conductor: Ma'am, please step off the ramp platform and wait until it is safe. (pause) Miss, you're having a frickin' baby, get off the ramp! (she does) Thank you.
–Metro-North Rail Tracks
Overheard by: Theonlyonewhoseemedtonotice
Teenage mother to friends, running to catch subway: Last one gets the baby!
–Broadway
Overheard by: Francisco S. Ramírez
Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I.
–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St
Overheard by: HookahFanatic
Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu
Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them.
–Outside the Federal Reserve
20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich.
–Broadway & 39th St
Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter.
–116th St & 8th
Overheard by: Matt & Stacy
16-year-old girl on cell: So like, for Halloween my mom told me about this strip club we could go to…
–110th & Central Park West
Overheard by: sophie Balis-Harris
Drunk stumbling Yankee meathead to fellow meatheads: Yo! Let's get some fucking strippers! I don't give a fuck about my girlfriend! (pauses and looks around) If I drop any more beer on this woman… (spills half his cup on her back) Ah, fuck.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: seat 12 section 23
20-something woman on cell: What, you had sex with that stripper?!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Liz
Drunk suit: Yeah…we did it up fo' my son's 18th birfday. He be graduatin and all this year, so we sprung fo' a stripper.
–Q67 Bus
Overheard by: Kate
Teen screaming into cell: Stripper. (pause) No, stripper!
–Little Italy
Teenage girl, showing mother some clothes: What do you think of these?
Mother: Are you planning to attend a funeral?
Teenage girl: Well, we have a lot of old people in our family.
–Loehmann's, Chelsea
Tourist mom with mullet, trying to take a picture of cute five-year old boy: Stand by the testicles, honey. Stand by the balls!
–Wall Street Bull
Overheard by: oh tourists
Suit to street vendor: You spend the money and get blue balls…
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Colin
Guy on cell: Fucking shit! What the fuck? This fucking shit is fucking messed up! (pause) Whatever, mommy… just get me a large, it'll give me more room for my balls.
–97th St & Madison Ave
Big guy in chair on sidewalk to friend: So, I ate a pair of balls last night. Lamb balls. Hot and spicy.
–Heath St & 231st St
Overheard by: Km
Ghetto man to Dunkin' Donuts cashier: Yo, how much is da balls?
–W 148th & Broadway
Little girl: Will I have big mountain nungas like you someday?
Big sister: Only hillocks, I fear.
–58th & 6th
Overheard by: EAK
Dad to whiny three-year-old daughter: And now you're going to try and manipulate me by crying.
–186th St & Ft. Washington Ave
Girl to friends: That's just the way the world is. You don't see me cryin' whenever someone calls me a fat bitch or a short bitch or an ugly bitch…
–23rd & 8th
15-year-old boy: Yo, I'd cry if that happened to me, but I'm just sensitive like that.
–A Train
Overheard by: pop pop
Girl: And then you know I take out my yo-yo and start dancing. And then you know I'm multi-tasking! I'm yo-yoing, dancing and crying all at the same time!
–LaGuardia High School
Woman on cell: Alex, stop crying. Stop crying. What about the breadsticks, were there at least breadsticks?
–34th & 6th
