Old Jewish lady #1: Maybe today we should go to Flashdancers.
Old Jewish lady #2: Oh yes, yes, I could look at some ta-tas.
–70th & 3rd
Overheard by: liz
Old Jewish lady #1: Maybe today we should go to Flashdancers.
Old Jewish lady #2: Oh yes, yes, I could look at some ta-tas.
–70th & 3rd
Overheard by: liz
Elderly lady to coughing woman sitting across the room: Do you have something in your throat? Cuz I could slap it out for you.
–Doctor's Waiting Room
Old lady to pharmacy tech: Yeah, I always have an ice cream cone when I see the truck. It's such a nice treat. (pauses) Plus, you never know–this could be my last one.
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Queens Newsbunny
Very old frail-looking woman leaving crowded train: Goddamned people and their fucking backpacks!
–6 Train
Old man on cell: Hello? (pause) I'm at the crack shack. (pause) Well, you look like a raccoon. (pause) This is the first I've been outside all year!
–Madison Square Park
Old Jewish woman, in Russian: My grandchildren are total fucks.
–Coney Island
Black guy on cell: Broadway is all gays and Jews and frankly I am sick of it.
–47th St & 8th
Jewish son: I did not call the rabbi to have him check up on you!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: NosyMormon
Suit on cell: Oh yes, I know all about you. You do crazy things. You eat rice on Pesach.
–Fancy Restaraunt, 79th St
Hobo: I bet if I put up a sign that said "hungry Jew," I'd be getting a ton of money thrown at me.
–98th St & Broadway
Old Jewish woman, exiting store with young woman: I know it's silly, but it was German. They killed six million Jews in Germany. I don't like to buy things that were made in Germany.
–Queens
20-something girl to friend: That Jew laid the spank on her!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Cop to another: Are you drunk yet?
–Corner of 145th St
Frustrated-sounding NYU student to friend: Well, why don't you get a girl and you can just pretend she's drunk?
–Washington Square
Future rabbi: So my philosophy professor, Lenny Kravitz, told us we'll be drinking scotch in class tomorrow…
–4th & Broadway
Drunk black guy arguing on phone: Man, you need to stop drinkin'. Not only is yo speech gettin' slurred, but yo brains is gettin' slurred too!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Ashley
Dude to friend: I swear to god, every time he gets a little buzzed he thinks he's Austin Powers.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: thivnav
Jewish guy on cell: I finally got evangelized this week! (pause) It wasn't as much fun as I thought it was going to be.
–121st & Broadway
Lady on cell: Have fun with the… what do you call them… Oh, people!
—Shakespeare in the Park Line, Central Park
Overheard by: Megan W.
20-something male looking at painting: Hangings probably aren't as fun as they look.
–MoMa
Kid to his mother: Wow! The critics were right, this is the most fun you can have while sitting down!
–Outside Hairspray
Overheard by: DeDra
Orthodox Jewish man #1: We're sending her to Westchester for her eating disorder.
Orthodox Jewish man #2: Is that like a fat farm? Maybe she'll lose weight.
–Manhattan Beach Park
Overheard by: Vespertinas
Large black woman: Don't you want to sit down? You don't have a good balance.
Old Jewish man with walker: Not true! Last night, at around two am, a fairy came to me and said I had good balance!
Large black woman, shrugging: Alriiight!
–N Train
Overheard by: zach
Mother to two-year old son: Zachary, I am not continuing this discussion with you all day long! If you don't like what's in your mouth, just spit it out!
–Dunkin' Donuts
Nerdy Jewish Barnard girl on cell: I can just imagine it in my mouth, the taste of it.
–116th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sully
Young boy running with soaked t-shirt: I need to be squirted! Somebody has to squirt me!
–89th St
Father to young daughter: Want me to squirt it in your mouth?
–Astoria
Overheard by: Mark
Foxy Fox news producer to another: I know you wanted something hard, so I slipped you Shively!
–Starbucks
Nine-year-old boy to mother, forlornly: In five days, it will be two weeks since we last ate in a restaurant.
–75th & Amsterdam
Jewish girl with heavy New York accent: So when we went to the South we ate at a waffle house, aka the most amazing experience ever! Everyone there was missing at least two teeth!
–Baruch College
Overheard by: kteezy
Man on cell: What the fuck was in that Chipotle last night?
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Steve
Preppy teenage boy to friend: Dude, so then I took her to Applebee's. She thought it was so romantic–like "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" status.
–Hunter
Overheard by: Hakuna Matata
Jewish senior girl #1: My grandpa died. His name was hymen!
Jewish senior girl #2, laughing: Your grandpa's name was hymen! (pause) Wait… my grandpa's name was hymen. My hymen died.
Jewish senior girl #1: (silence)
Jewish senior girl #2: I meant my grandpa.
Sophomore boy: I feel like I just sinned.
–Bx10 Bus
Overheard by: luckily yom kippur was coming up
