Subway hobo: Hello, I am not here to beg. I am homeless, I have not eaten in a week. I have not been able to find a job.
Man on the train: Hey man, if you are looking for a job I can help you out.
Subway hobo: What do you mean? This is my job!
–D Train
Voice on speaker: Stand clear of the closing doors.
Conductor with head out of window: Shut up!
Voice on speaker: 308, 308…
Conductor with head out of window: Shut up!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Krisztina
Ghetto princess #1: So I said, “No way, Ay-rab, I'm not dancing with you.”
Ghetto princess #2: He wasn't Arab, he was Greek.
Ghetto princess #1: He looked like he was from Ay-ray-bica. I don't know, he just seemed crazy.
Ghetto princess #3: No, no, he was definitely Greek, cause he spoke like he was in the mafia and everything.
–A Train
Hobo: Sixty. Sixty, sixty, sixty, sixty!
Fellow passenger: Sixty?
Hobo: No.
–E Train
Lesbian: Rachel's dying her hair again, she's going back to redhead. She's so dedicated! Every time she changes her hair color she makes sure she does the whole job, just for me!
Friend: Uh, doesn't one usually do the “whole job” when dying hair?
Lesbian: No, no, I mean she dyes *down there*, you know?
Friend: Ah, right, gotcha. (pause) Uh, wasn't she lime green last month?
–F Train
Elderly black woman #1: I don't know why Barack Obama didn't pick Condoleezza Rice as his running mate.
Elderly black woman #2: Mmmmm hmmmm.
Elderly black woman #1: I mean, she's got all kindsa honorary doctorates and such.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Frankie
Church lady #1: You should try this restaurant I went to last week in Brooklyn.
Church lady #2: Oh, is that in the hood?
Church lady #1: No, it's not quite in the hood, but it's close. It's about two stops from the hood.
–A Train
Overheard by: what's happening to our hood?
Conductor at subway door yelling at guy in suit: Stop holding the subway door.
Guy in suit: Want to take off your belt and beat me?
–E Train
Overheard by: Fellow Subway Rider
Mom, entering subway in Harlem with two-year-old son: Honey, just go sit on the floor.
(son begins to sit, mom laughs) No! Don't do that! I'm just messing with you!
–A Train
Overheard by: adam h.
Woman #1: That's a nice necklace. Where did you get it?
Woman #2: Lord & Taylor.
Woman #1: I can't go there anymore since they caught me shoplifting.
–Uptown 4 Train
