Wednesday One-Liners Don't Have Room in Their Closets Anymore

Gay guy to friend: I woke up this morning with a condom hanging out my butt. Was that you?

–Madison Square Park

Gay 30-something: Ugh, Borat quotes are like the UGG boot of conversation.

–Broadway & Spring

Really gay guy to friend: You don't know about the Holy Trinity? It's Liza, Judy and Barbra!

–Fort Washington Ave. & 183rd St

Overheard by: RED

Flamboyant gay: My hair's too straight. I need to gay it up a bit.

–Bryant Park

Flamboyant guy: My life in New York has been more fabulous than I ever thought! I almost hit Elaine Stritch with a car this weekend!

–W 18th St

Overheard by: Dan Friedman

Posted on July 15, 2009
About Celebrities, Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Bryant Park, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Hair, Madison Square Garden, Movies, Parks, Queer guys, Questions, Sexuality, Shoes, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Meet the Guy Who Makes the Subway Doors Open

Crazy ranting black guy: My divinity is hot… my arrows can block the clouds. I wanna be the Imperial Leader for all time. My lizards will rule everyone. If y'all do what I say, things'll be fine.
Annoyed black lady, as he continues ranting: Whatever they gave him, it was too much. Oh my god! Why we gotta deal with this shit? Economic crisis and all, and still gotta deal with crazy people!
Crazy ranting black guy: Son, I open doors. Try to clap your heels three times and open doors like me–you can't do it! In prison, in the hood…
Annoyed black lady, now yelling: Why pick a train? Why not go to the hood like you say? Go to wherever you started that shit and deal. You need a therapist for real!

–A Train

Overheard by: Tigertail

Posted on July 14, 2009
Animals & Nature, Black People, Crazies, Crazy, Gripes, Guys, On the Subway, Prison, Psychology, Public Transportation, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

That's What You Said When I Asked Who Your Art Teacher Was!

Three-year-old boy: Mommy, I want a little brother, let's get one.
Mom: You can't just go to the store to get a baby.
Seven-year-old girl: I know where babies come from.
Mom: Oh, man!
Three-year-old boy: From where?
Seven-year-old girl: God. God made everything, people and animals.
Three-year-old boy: Who's god?
Seven-year-old girl: I don't know, some dead guy who lives in heaven.

–Riverbank State Park

Overheard by: Darin

Posted on July 14, 2009
Animals & Nature, Babies, Family Ties, Glad the Condom Broke, God, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parents, Parks, Questions, Shopping, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wishes & desires

Though I Think at Some Point They're Legally Obligated to Stab Me

(a BMW is blocking the bus, people inside get restless)
Guy #1 on cell, speaking to everyone on bus: Hey! What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? (pause) Anybody?
Guy #2, after a moment of silence: What?
Guy #1: On a porcupine, the prick's on the outside! (laughs, then on phone) Yeah! I gotta entertain the people on the bus!

–Q25 Bus

Overheard by: jessika

Posted on July 14, 2009
Animals & Nature, Bus, Cars and Driving, Guys, Laughter, On Cell, On the Bus, Public Transportation, Questions

…Making Shopping Lists in Your Head?

Gay boy: So have you guys ever had sex with someone you didn't want to?
Girl: Yes.
Gay boy: Like, they're fucking you and you're just laying there…

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: mezza

Posted on July 13, 2009
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, The Village, Wishes & desires

My Drywall Became a Wetwall

Teenage girl #1: So you Frenched a hole in your wall?
Teenage girl #2: Yes I did!

–14th St

Posted on July 13, 2009
K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Questions, Street, Teens, Weirdness

She's Our New Supreme Court Justice?

Younger brother: What's her name again? I want to say Eddie Murphy.
Older brother: Whoopi Goldberg.

–W 20th St

Posted on July 13, 2009
About Celebrities, Brothers, Names, Questions, The Village

If They Could Erect Things That Quickly, Wouldn't the Freedom Tower Be Built by Now?

Ghetto girl #1: What are you staring at?!
Ghetto girl #2: That wasn't there before.
Ghetto girl #1: What?
Ghetto girl #2, very seriously: The Empire State Building!

–34th & 6th

Posted on July 13, 2009
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Ghetto Chicks, NYC Geography, Questions, Stupidity

You Start with Just One, but It Becomes Hobbitual

Girl #1: Do you think you'll go on another date with him?
Girl #2: Yeah, I'm like addicted to hobbits!

–W 20th St & 6th Ave

Posted on July 12, 2009
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dating, Girls, Questions

And Yet He Ruined the 2000 Election

Good Samaritan, rushing in: Chad told me to ask you for your first aid kit. Do you know Chad? Some lady got hit by a taxi!
Cashier: Yeah, he's our boss.
(they leave with kit, cook returns a few minutes later)
Cook: Yo, Chad's a hero. That woman's head was in a pool of blood. She's gonna need more than that first aid kit.
Cashier: It would be a guy named Chad who stops to help someone laying in the street. Most people see that and say “Yo, I gotta get to work.” You never see an Omar or Carlos stop to help someone. It would be a guy named Chad!

–Zen Burger, 45th & Lexington

Overheard by: – My friend Chad is serving in Iraq and is a hero too!

Posted on July 12, 2009
Accidents, Blood & bleeding, Cashiers, Clerks, Health and Hygiene, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Nice People, Offers and requests, Questions, Race, Restaurants & Cafes

Questions