Ditz #1: Did you know Beverly Hills was, like, its own city?
Ditz #2: Yeah, it's like the Vatican!
–2nd & 7th
Overheard by: Like, Totally.
Ditz #1: Did you know Beverly Hills was, like, its own city?
Ditz #2: Yeah, it's like the Vatican!
–2nd & 7th
Overheard by: Like, Totally.
Ditz #1: Did you know that when you snort while laughing you lose three brain cells?
Ditz #2: So you're saying if I snort for an hour I'm gonna be fucking retarded?
–F Train
Dude: They don't like you because you're pretentious and make them feel stupid.
Chick: And the only reason they like you is because you make them feel smarter and look better in comparison. I win.
–Uptown 6 Train
Headline by: Andrew
Runners-Up:
· “Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman: At It Again” – Veronica Mars
· “Kenley Makes Micheal Korrs Cry at Fashion Week” – anne nahm
· “Now Buy Me The “I’m With Stupid” Shirt I Rightfully Deserve” – Paul K.
· “The Clinton’s New Sitcom Is Going to Be Great.” – treize
Teen girl, calmly: My nigga, I only got one car, and I need that car to kill my momma.
–125th & 5th
Overheard by: Caroline
Loud Eastern European man to older guy: If I get you car, you get me woman. Woman for fucking! (gestures a jackhammer motion)
–Union Square
Overheard by: BK
Surprised woman: $15,000? Tonya! For $15,000 you could've bought a car, gone to a psychologist and finally learned how to drive!
–Park Ave & 39th St
Girl on cell: He drove his truck into the pool. No…he drove his truck into the pool. So, I just hope it's not because he was doing something stupid.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Pretty Sure He Was Doing Something Stupid
Man on bike on cell: There ain't no peanut butter in the car.
–West 4th & Sullivan St.
Overheard by: Anna P.
Screaming guy, sticking head out of cab during traffic jam: Fucking three inches per hour!
–Greene St, SoHo
Overheard by: seb
College girl: When we get back to the dorm, let's eat a bunch of stupid snacks.
College guy: Yeah, not smart snacks like Nurti-Grain bars, but stupid snacks like Pop-Tarts and Easy Mac.
College girl: Sooo stupid.
–110th & Lexington
Overheard by: Sromeo
Waitress: Will you have a soup or salad?
Girl: Sure, I'll have the super salad.
Waitress: No, will you have the soup or salad?
Girl: I said I'll have the super salad.
Waitress: No, (really slowly) will you have the soup or salad.
Girl: Ohhhhh, the salad.
–Elmo, Chelsea
NYU student #1: Who is Paris Green, anyway?
NYU student #2: Didn't he manage the Yankees for a little while?
NYU student #3: That was Dallas Green.
NYU student #1: Are they related?
NYU student #3: They used to use Paris Green to kill rats.
NYU student #2: He was an exterminator?
NYU student #1: Either way, I fucked up the test.
–Starbucks, Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Big Larry
Stoner #1: Okay, so George Bush is our President, right?
Stoner #2: Yeah.
Stoner #1: If the Vice President dies, who's the President?
Stoner #2: Umm… George Washington.
(hysterical laughter)
Stoner #3: You bringing back niggas from the dead and shit.
Stoner #1: You just like my dad, we asked him who was the first President, he was like (imitates Asian accent) Oh, oh…okay, I know this, I know this… George Lincoln.
–Internet Cafe, Mott St.
Overheard by: Hugh
Latin teacher: I don't think [Catullus] is exactly calling her a five-cent ho.
Student: Haha, he said ho!
–Packer Collegiate
Overheard by: Fred S.
20-something yuppie guy: You said your name is Demetria?
Sassy black teenager: My name is Demetriatis: Rhymes wit' goddess, cause I'm da hottes'.
20-something yuppie guy: So your name is Demetria?
–PATH Train
