Wednesday One-Liners Go with the Flow

Woman to friend: Childbirth is just really bad menstrual cramps, that's all!

–Varick St

Overheard by: Cool Breeze

Woman to toddler: Put the rest of the money back in the tampon box.

–14th St Subway Station

Overheard by: alex

Girl crossing street to friend: And then I had my period for a month!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: Wondering what kind of birth control she's on

30-something woman on cell: He said he didn't care, and pulled the tampon out of me.

–Bedford Ave & N 8th St

Overheard by: tamphex twin

Girl to guy: I thought I smelled alcohol, but it was just my menstruation.

–N Train

Posted on January 28, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Kids, Menstruation, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Sensory Experiences, Soho, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Embrace Your Wednesday One-Liners

Guy at party: I'm known for my creepy hugs.

–16th St & Union Square

Overheard by: Kitty

Hobo: Okay, you know the drill. I'm hungry, give me money so I can buy breakfast.
(nobody does) Alright, if you don't want to give any money, if you're reasonably attractive, hug a brotha! That works too.

–F Train

Panhandler: Any little bit helps, folks. Pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters. If you don't have any money this morning and you're, like, really attractive, you can just give me a big hug and rub up on me a little bit, and we'll call it even.

–F Train

Overheard by: kdice

Woman's voice on public announcement system: You want me to hug you?

–Port Authority

Ghetto Latina, seeing MTA worker hug crying bag lady: Shit, I'm from the Bronx, born and raised, and I ain't never seen no subway man be giving out free hugs. I seen shouting matches, I seen drug deals, I seen fist fights, but I ain't never seen no free hugs in a subway station. That's some fuckin dedication right there.

–59th St. Subway Station

Overheard by: slc boy

Subway panhandler: If you don't have any food, but you do happen to be, like, incredibly good looking, I do accept hugs. (middle aged man with L.L.Bean backpack smiles and holds his arms open invitingly) I'll have to give you a raincheck on that one, sir.

–F Train

Overheard by: linda

Posted on January 28, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Crime and Punishment, Drugs, Fighting and ass kicking, Food, Free stuff!, Ghetto Chicks, Guys, Hobos, Homeless, Hugs, Latinos, Money & Class, Nice People, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Panhandling, Passengers, Port Authority, Public Transportation, Strangers, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Why You Shouldn't Tell Your Girlfriend Anything

Guy: Hey, Marie, we're going this way. Yeah, Marie…I'm calling you Marie today. Today is “middle name day.”
Girlfriend, shrugging: Whatever you say, Carol.

–Canal Street Station

Posted on January 24, 2009
Gender issues, Girlfriends, Guys, Names, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

It's Just That New York State Of Mind

Woman to man: So, how are you?
Man: Oh, I'm just peachy!
Woman: Really? How was your day?
Man: Great, I'm ready to hang myself!
Woman: Why what happened?
Man: Nothing. You know, that's every day. Actually, today wasn't even so bad.

–Subway Station

Posted on January 23, 2009
Gripes, Men, Questions, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Suicide, Weirdness, Women

The Misunderestimated Phraseoids of Wednesday One-Liners

Blonde chick to dude: Isn't he, like, koreish?

–F Train

Dude on cell: It's not even like a relationship, it's all texting, it's a textationship.

–22nd & 1st

Overheard by: loves it

Girl on cell: She was all slippy and shit.

–SoHo

Student to another: The trouble with you is that you got the wrong misconception.

–Broadway & 116th

Overheard by: Cousin Al

Mom, upon examining young son's pruney toes: Jake! What's wrong with your toe? Look, the skin is coming off, it's like you're molding! Just like a little bird! Your foot is molding!

–Prep School Swimming Pool

Overheard by: I dream of Jean

Teen on payphone: Listen! Mah words isn't what I'm sayin!

–Fulton & Broadway

Overheard by: Mondo Man

Woman on cell: You thought he was gonna shit on you? Sit? Spit? You gonna need to step up your English game.

–Fulton Street Subway Station

Overheard by: Johnny Twisto

Posted on January 14, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Birds, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Poop, Questions, Relationships, School, Smegma, Soho, Students, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

White Guys Are So Cute

Cute suit #1: I'm getting ready for tonight. This is my new move. (mimes animalistic dance)
Cute suit #2: I like it, I like it. It's very Teen Wolf.

–7th Ave E Station

Overheard by: NatalyaPetrovna

Posted on January 10, 2009
Animals & Nature, Dancing, Movies, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Suits

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Know How to Quit You

Tough guy on cell: Yeah, I was at the gay bah. It was two for ones. Whaddayou gonna do? Two for ones!

–Houston & Avenue A

Homeless man in subway station: Gay sex was invented to avoid child support.

–53rd St Subway Station

Overheard by: Billy

Woman on cell: Let me tell you something about this new generation of guys in New York: All gay.

–W 31st & Broadway

Overheard by: A passing gay man

Woman to husband: Not just a gay, but a heroin sheep gay.

–Broadway & 8th

Overheard by: TR

Cop to drunk: Who cares if you're gay? That doesn't give you the right to climb the fire escape.

–W 20th

Posted on January 7, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cops, Couples, Crime and Punishment, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Heroin, Hobos, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Sex, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Shirley Temple Was Always a Precocious Tyke

Woman: But where does your money come from? Who gives it to you?
Little girl: The world.

–34th St Subway Station

Posted on December 30, 2008
Kids, Money & Class, Questions, Subway Stations, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Women

Pimps of The World: That's What We've Been Trying To SAY

Ghetto Thug: Pssss! Nigga woman, you got a mad fine piece of ass. Let me get in that, yo. Check it!
Scared Woman: You wish! Get away from me before I go get that cop over there.
Ghetto Thug: Bitch, I's just payin' you a compliment. Shit!

–Jamaica Station, Sutphin Blvd

Posted on December 26, 2008
Ass, Backdoor, Black People, Compliments, Cops, Queens, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Thugs, Women

Spoken Like Someone Who's Never Seen a Cabbie Drive

Daughter: Okay. So we've got to take the n uptown. It should be arriving on this track soon.
Tourist mom: But that sign says the n goes to Queens. I don't wanna to to Queens.
Daughter: Yes, it goes to Queens but we're getting off way before then. It just ends in Queens, don't worry.
Tourist mom: Don't worry?! The sign says the n goes to Queens. And that it's an express! An express to Queens?! I don't think so. Let's just go take a cab…it'll be safer.

–Herald Square Subway Station

Overheard by: vmorgs

Posted on December 21, 2008
Directions, Families, Moms, Public Transportation, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Tourism, Tourists

Subway stations, platforms, etc.