Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Four-year old to his father, dreamily: Let's go on the u train! The beautiful u train!

–D Line

Overheard by: Caitlin

Ditzy girl to friend: I hope there's an exit at this station.

–96th St Station

Amiable suit, answering cell: Hi, hon. (pause) Well, I can't talk long–I have to drive this train.

–Amtrak, Penn Station

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Little boy: Is this train going to move, or what?

–Transit Museum

Overheard by: Rita

MTA worker in booth, over intercom: Hello everyone. The cost to ride the subway is $2. Only $2. The woman in that blue leather jacket and red hat thinks it's free. If you are standing next to a woman in a blue leather jacket and a red hat, tell her she needs to pay her toll like everyone else.

–6 Train Station

Crazy guy (inexplicably overjoyed): Heyyyyy! White people!

–1 Train

Gay black man on cell: She is such a delicate white cunt, she can't raise her own child. She needs a Jamaican man to do it.

–45th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Kristy Magyar

Angry black guy: I swear to god I'm bout to start slappin' white people.

–Union Station

Overheard by: scared white guy

White English guy to Anglo-Filipino chick: I don't think we'll be welcome there because we're white.

–Nostrand & St. Mark's, Brooklyn

Black guy: Man, I love white people, and I never shot anybody!

–Times Square

Panicked child: Mommy, why are there so many white people here?

–Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting

Blonde middle aged woman, singing, to the tune of "Winter Wonderland": Walking in a Weeeeeiner Wonderland…

–Food Store, 57th St

Hobo, rummaging in trash, to tune of "Blue Suede Shoes": One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now go, cat, go. Gonna rob this town, rob this town tonight.

–79th & Broadway

Overheard by: thevineyard

am New York guy, singing loudly: Get am New York! Stay dry! Thank god you're aliiiiiiive!

–Union Square Subway Entrance

Hobo, singing while passing by shopping cart: Push, push in the bush, yeah, push it in the bush!

–16th St & 5th Ave

Gay gentleman, singing in response to another gay gentleman dancing down the street in pouring rain: He's gayer in the rain, he's gayer in the rain!

–W 23rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Jess

Man to Spanish guy singing "La Bamba": Shut the fuck up!

–51st St Station

Tourist trying to get through the turnstile with a credit card: Didn't this work last time?
Tourist friend: Try my Visa, maybe yours is expired.

–Bryant Park Station

Overheard by: casey

Woman to friend: Childbirth is just really bad menstrual cramps, that's all!

–Varick St

Overheard by: Cool Breeze

Woman to toddler: Put the rest of the money back in the tampon box.

–14th St Subway Station

Overheard by: alex

Girl crossing street to friend: And then I had my period for a month!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: Wondering what kind of birth control she's on

30-something woman on cell: He said he didn't care, and pulled the tampon out of me.

–Bedford Ave & N 8th St

Overheard by: tamphex twin

Girl to guy: I thought I smelled alcohol, but it was just my menstruation.

–N Train

Guy at party: I'm known for my creepy hugs.

–16th St & Union Square

Overheard by: Kitty

Hobo: Okay, you know the drill. I'm hungry, give me money so I can buy breakfast.
(nobody does) Alright, if you don't want to give any money, if you're reasonably attractive, hug a brotha! That works too.

–F Train

Panhandler: Any little bit helps, folks. Pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters. If you don't have any money this morning and you're, like, really attractive, you can just give me a big hug and rub up on me a little bit, and we'll call it even.

–F Train

Overheard by: kdice

Woman's voice on public announcement system: You want me to hug you?

–Port Authority

Ghetto Latina, seeing MTA worker hug crying bag lady: Shit, I'm from the Bronx, born and raised, and I ain't never seen no subway man be giving out free hugs. I seen shouting matches, I seen drug deals, I seen fist fights, but I ain't never seen no free hugs in a subway station. That's some fuckin dedication right there.

–59th St. Subway Station

Overheard by: slc boy

Subway panhandler: If you don't have any food, but you do happen to be, like, incredibly good looking, I do accept hugs. (middle aged man with L.L.Bean backpack smiles and holds his arms open invitingly) I'll have to give you a raincheck on that one, sir.

–F Train

Overheard by: linda

Guy: Hey, Marie, we're going this way. Yeah, Marie…I'm calling you Marie today. Today is “middle name day.”
Girlfriend, shrugging: Whatever you say, Carol.

–Canal Street Station

Woman to man: So, how are you?
Man: Oh, I'm just peachy!
Woman: Really? How was your day?
Man: Great, I'm ready to hang myself!
Woman: Why what happened?
Man: Nothing. You know, that's every day. Actually, today wasn't even so bad.

–Subway Station

Blonde chick to dude: Isn't he, like, koreish?

–F Train

Dude on cell: It's not even like a relationship, it's all texting, it's a textationship.

–22nd & 1st

Overheard by: loves it

Girl on cell: She was all slippy and shit.

–SoHo

Student to another: The trouble with you is that you got the wrong misconception.

–Broadway & 116th

Overheard by: Cousin Al

Mom, upon examining young son's pruney toes: Jake! What's wrong with your toe? Look, the skin is coming off, it's like you're molding! Just like a little bird! Your foot is molding!

–Prep School Swimming Pool

Overheard by: I dream of Jean

Teen on payphone: Listen! Mah words isn't what I'm sayin!

–Fulton & Broadway

Overheard by: Mondo Man

Woman on cell: You thought he was gonna shit on you? Sit? Spit? You gonna need to step up your English game.

–Fulton Street Subway Station

Overheard by: Johnny Twisto

Cute suit #1: I'm getting ready for tonight. This is my new move. (mimes animalistic dance)
Cute suit #2: I like it, I like it. It's very Teen Wolf.

–7th Ave E Station

Overheard by: NatalyaPetrovna