Hippie, sarcastically to suit in '72 Cadillac convertible: Nice car. Where's the rest of The Sopranos?
Suit driving away, deadpan, without missing a beat: In the fucking trunk.
–Wall St
Hippie, sarcastically to suit in '72 Cadillac convertible: Nice car. Where's the rest of The Sopranos?
Suit driving away, deadpan, without missing a beat: In the fucking trunk.
–Wall St
Suit: The ancients left records all over the place. Look at the pyramids, dickhead.
–83rd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: EthanK
Drunk guy, as '80s song plays on jukebox: '80s music was so inspirational, cuz they knew Reaganomics wasn't gonna work. '90s, we were in a boom so it was like, "don't forget how bad things are!" Now music just sucks, cuz everything sucks.
–The Punch Bowl, 238th & Broadway, The Bronx
Overheard by: Kyle Crocodile
Preppy blond guy: Wow, I didn't realize The Great Depression was so bad!
–Columbia Law School
Drunk hobo yelling at sidewalk: Fuck those guys! They can't fire me! They need me! What the fuck? I built those temples, goddamnit! Those Mayans need me! I'm the only one who built those temples!
–23rd b/w 4th & 5th
Wisdom-sharing mother of two: Well, of course socks were invented first! Soccer was invented before shoes and they wore socks to play it! Why do you think it's called soccer? They were wearing socks long before they were wearing shoes.
–Restaurant, Columbus Ave
Girl: Wait! George Washington is Johnny Appleseed, right?
–Stuyvesant High School
Suit: It's at the point now it doesn't matter too much if my wife gets mad, it's the nanny I can't upset. (other men laugh and agree)
–Uptown A Train
Female employee: I do not want to go to anger management for a third time.
–115th & 5th
Overheard by: Tara
Girl to guy: You seem like the kind of person that would be mad if they got shot.
–Wildwood, Park Ave & 18th St
Overheard by: Sean
Mom to three-year-old son: You mad? You mad? Well, you know what "mad" is spelled backwards, right? "D-a-m." Ain't nothin' you can do about that.
–St. Nicholas Ave & 127th St
Overheard by: stella ho
Thug: She's just mad 'cause she's Mexican.
–Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: Wendla B.
Hostess running out of restaurant: Angry couple who just left the bar! You forgot your credit card!
–The Village
Overheard by: DW
Suit on Bluetooth headset: You just lie on the ground and squeal like a pig!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Justin
Chick on cell: A theatrical fashion show of people in assless pleather chaps and pig masks…
–W 26th St b/w 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Ladle
Hipster chick: I love bulldogs; they're like little alien piglets.
–9th St & 2nd Ave
Sorority girl, walking dog, to friend: Didn't you have a pig you could squeeze and make poop come out?
–113th St b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Professor: Your mother is a pigfucker. Now, I hope you don't all go home and cry because I said that.
–Brooklyn College
Suit: So how are you ladies doing?
Cute girl #1: Um, fine. You?
Suit: Good! I'm Paul.
Cute girl #1: So Paul, what do you do?
Suit: Guess.
Cute girl #2: World of Warcraft?
–Black Door Bar
Overheard by: On the periphery
Suit #1: Have you heard from Robert? How is he?
Suit #2: He's running his hedge fund from prison.
–79th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Boagy
Girl to friend: You mean the labia? No, that's a vagina part.
–13th & Ave B
Overheard by: Caroline
Woman to friend, in line for bathroom: I'm taking that medication that makes it really dry, again.
–Ethel Barrymore Theater
Overheard by: Crumb Doughnut
Cornelius, crazy hobo: Yo' pussy looks betta' than yo' face!
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Lily London & China Rose
Monotone suit on cell: That pussy better be ready by the time I get home.
–Houston & Broadway
Girl on cell waiting for Port Jefferson train: Okay, be serious for a second, how do you know if you're allergic to latex, though? Really, cause dead honest, it's a puffed mushroom right now. I don't know what to do. Should I go see someone, do you think Henry would notice? Really, what if I turn off the lights?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Chester
Older worn-out assistant: Do you know how hard it is to find an on-call tranny hooker?
Suit: On-call?
–51st St & Park Ave
Overheard by: krissy
Old man in laundry room: I saw a young man the other day put about 8 Levi's in this little machine, here. They came out with soap all over them because he didn't give them enough room. I turned to him and said, "young man, you need your mother."
–25th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Adam and AMC
Old man, yelling at a passing ambulance with blaring sirens: Oh, shut the fuck up. Goddamnit!
–Broadway & Washington Place
Little old lady, passing a steep cellar: Wow. I wouldn't want to be drunk going down those stairs.
–Broome Street b/w Allen & Eldridge
Overheard by: always take the elevator
Little old lady to physical therapist: Can I Facebook friend you?
–Parkside Physical Therapy, 100th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Old Greek man to another: Ya gotta use ya mind, ya money, and ya mouth. Mmm. The three Ms.
–Ditmars
Overheard by: ashley
Old lady with walker to nurse: I just love fresh air and a cigarette.
–5th & B
Overheard by: Adam Glaser
Older man to waiter: You didn't tell me that soup wasn't included. I can't believe you're charging someone of my generation for soup. I shouldn't have to pay for just water, chicken, and rice. Some of us here are on a fixed income. (to neighboring table) You be careful! Your bill's going to come to $30! (pays at register) You should have told me. Now I hope you're happy that tomorrow an old man won't be able to afford his medicine.
–New Wave Cafe, 79th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Cute suit #1: I'm getting ready for tonight. This is my new move. (mimes animalistic dance)
Cute suit #2: I like it, I like it. It's very Teen Wolf.
–7th Ave E Station
Overheard by: NatalyaPetrovna
