Frantic woman: Excuse me, is this the train to Manhattan?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: oliver
Tourist to companion: We've left the village now, but I don't think this is Soho.
–Stanton & Orchard
Middle-aged woman in sharp looking suit: I thought Croatia was an Asian country in Europe.
–4 Train
Woman to friends: I had four kids today label New York in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. I am such a great teacher.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Mickey and Gabe
Comedy show peddler with very deep voice: Hey, do you guys want to see a comedy show?
Teenage girl, making fun of his voice: No!
Comedy show peddler: Why the hell not?!
Teenage girl: We hate comedy!
Comedy show peddler: Goddamnit, what the hell is wrong with you?!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lauren
Woman sitting in front of bar with friends: I approached motherhood like I approached my art…
–9th St & Ave C
Overheard by: Juliet
Street artist to tourist: I don't have empathy, I paint empathy.
–Soho
Hipster arty type to another: She deserves to be roofied; her prints are horrible.
–Pratt Institute
Hipster to another, at Georgia O'Keefe exhibit: That's a lot of vaginas.
–Whitney Museum
Four-year-old boy to father, at 17th century furniture room: This place gives me the creeps!
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Me too
Mother to child: I seen that picture you did of that boy kissing that girl. (pause) Darren, your art shit is going far!
–Times Square
Very upset girl to no one in particular: But nobody would ever fuck my eyelashes!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Boy to another: He said he had to go and get a colon autopsy!
–84th & 3rd
Overheard by: Laura
Woman to husband: And I swear, she only has half an eye!
–Times Square
Older dude in sweater vest: It was considered the Rolls Royce of organs.
–111th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Middle aged man walking his dog at night: She had a shamrock on her face and a shamrock on her butt.
–West End & 77th St
Girl to another: Are you going to be upset if he has short arms?
–University Place
Promoter, stopping college girls: Hey, do you girls like comedy?
Girls: (silence)
Promoter: Where are you two from?
(they look at each other, don't say anything)
Promoter: Helloooo? Where are you from?
(no reply)
Promoter: Are you guys retarded?!
(they storm off)
Girl #1 to girl #2: God! Someone would never say that to us in LA!
–Times Square
Overheard by: just visiting
Tourist to boyfriend: Why are there so many humans here?
–Times Square
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this n train is very crowded. There is a w train one minute behind this one with air conditioning, legroom, and color tv.
–N Train
Overheard by: Thinking about switching
Guy: Y'all can't crowd up here! I don't want to name any names, but there's a baby back there that just got stepped on.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Samantha Chastain
Girl walking up stairs, suddenly turning around: Oh, nuh-uh! Get your forehead out of my ass!
–F Train
Girl to friend: He's Indian! How can he be homeless?
–Union Square
Crazy Asian lady: I think everyone should experience jail and being homeless at least twice in life, so I need to go to jail again.
–Pinkberry, 32nd St
Suit, screaming: Why the fuck did I go to school? Look at these homeless people. They have a perfect life. Free samples at every corner. Apple Store is open 24/7, which means good shelter. Gahh!
–Union Square
Overheard by: hespeakstruth
Flamboyantly elegant gay guy to female friend: Would you rather lick this entire subway platform or have a homeless woman eat your pussy?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Katie
College girl: He's married and all, but he's really, really hot.
College boy: Isn't he like 50?
College girl: His feet are like size 14. I'm just saying.
–Times Square
Overheard by: soxie
Argumentative tour bus operator #1: Ghana is the best African country, man! The best!
Argumentative tour bus operator #2: Oh, yeah? What's your average life expectancy?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy, walking toward Broadway: You're the one that I want.
Girl, walking toward 7th Ave: You're the one that I want.
Both, as they continue to walk away: Oo oo oo, honey!
–Times Square
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
