Girl to friend: … And it was like, ‘Bam! I have a penis, too, man.’
–W 4th & 6th
Crazy guy: The revolution is in my pussy! The revolution is in my vagina!
–Washington Square Park
Prep school gangsta leaving train: Yo, man, grab his tits! Yeah!
–C train
Overheard by: Annearchist
Guy yelling into cell: I’m an intelligent woman! So I think…
–59th St, Columbus Circle
NYU chick: If I was a hermaphrodite, then I would totally understand what they were talking about.
–Shade, W 3rd & Sullivan
Man on cell, authoritatively: Ejaculate!
–14th b/w 3rd & 4th
Mother to curious little girl reaching out to touch Wall Street bull's testicles: No! (yanks her away)
–Bowling Green
Woman shouting across a grassy field: Slutbots!
–McCarren Park, Brooklyn
(intercom beeps 10 times)
Train conductor, over intercom: Shit.
(intercom continues to beep)
–Hudson Line Train
Man on bike speeding along Brooklyn Bridge walkway: Pussyhoooollleeeeee!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Quiet, older gentleman sipping coffee, leafing through newspaper: Motherfuckers!
–Barnes & Noble Coffee Bar, Broadway
Overheard by: Suze V
Conductor: May I see your ticket, please?
Drunk tranny: I already showed my ticket.
Conductor: Yes, but you haven’t showed it to me.
Drunk tranny: What the fuck? I already showed my damn ticket.
Conductor: OK, calm down. Just show me your ticket, please… I’ll come back for it to give you a minute to find it.
Drunk tranny: You are probably a leather queen. I pay $16,000 for a cunt and this is the disrespect I get. I am fucking changing cars.
–Long Beach bound LIRR
Girl #1: Jenny said she wants to have kids.
Girl #2: With that vagina? How does she expect to pop them out?
Girl #1: I know, right? She said she’s been to five gynos in the last week.
Girl #2: Lord have mercy on those children — their mama’s vagina is nasty.
–73rd & 2nd
Girl #1: Remember at that party when that stripper picked up a dollar bill with her pussy lips?
Girl #2: Ohhh, yeah — that wasn’t a stripper. That was a full-on whore.
–77th & 1st
Overheard by: mjg
Headline by: clink
Runners-Up:
· “… and It Wasn’t a Dollar Bill. That Was a Full-on Penis” – Caro
· “America DOES Have Talent” – Staci Lynn
· “Because I Saw That Thing Give Change” – nicky c.
· “But We Call Her Aunt Gladys” – Mark Paul
· “I Was Just Shocked She Did It through Her Jeans.” – SAtCW
· “Kind Of Like the Difference Between Maury Povich and Springer” – alana landa
Salesgirl: And, with this purchase, you get a free set of panties. What size would you like?
Girl #1: Oh, really? Cool. Medium, please.
Girl #2: How are you a size 4 in pants and an extra-small in shirts but a medium in underwear?
Girl #1: Well, underwear always run true to size. You can’t kid yourself into thinking you look skinny when your thongs are cutting off circulation to your labia.
–Express, 34th & 7th
Overheard by: I would have to agree
Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema…
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: chris
Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal!
–1st Ave & St. Mark's
Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lola Black
Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.
–W 4th St
20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria.
–Café
Girl: So I’m saying… Would you murder my pussy?
Guy: Hell nah.
Girl: Why not?
Guy, laughing: I’ll end up in jail, ma.
Girl: What?
Guy: You can’t handle me, trust. My dick is deadly. It will kill you and your pussy.
–Brooklyn
Girl #1: God, it smells like chicken McNuggets in here.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah, that’s just my poonan.
–Elevator, Times Square Arts Center
Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days.
–3rd between B & C
Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience.
–124th & Manhattan
Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer
Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Squatporpoise
Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys.
–NYU School of social work
Overheard by: Maggie
