Guy: Ugh! It feels like bodies up in here!
–83rd & Lexington
Overheard by: Kitty Aizer
Guy: Ugh! It feels like bodies up in here!
–83rd & Lexington
Overheard by: Kitty Aizer
Businesswoman: Tex-Mex is not Mexican food. It’s American. That’s why it’s called Tex-Mex.
–Midtown Office
Chick: …and the moral of the story is, don’t take off your pants in a stockroom because you’ll get dumped.
–UWS
Overheard by: e. glass
Girl getting out of the car: I wish I had a talent other than parallel parking…
–Park Slope
An old man, bent over and hobbling with his cane, says apropos of nothing: I’ve got to make a list.
–7th Ave.
Overheard by: Andrea Vaughn
Mom: I don’t know. I think you have to be, like, 21 to go to outer space.
–83rd & Amsterdam
A six-year-old stops coughing and asks: Mommy, why did you cover my mouth?
–Q Train
Old Southern Man: …so I said, if yer stoopid, you shouldn’t try and show it; you should try and hide it.
–Soho
NYU Guy: I didn’t wear my moccasins today, Arthur, and I’m still freezing!
–W. 13th St.
Overheard by: Dan Winckler
Hottie: …and then I want to tell them: less gooch, more cooch.
–DtUt, LES
Overheard by: e. glass
HS kid: My friend’s dad can blow smoke stars.
–Columbus Circle
Pragmatist: I figure if I don’t get a job in publishing, I’ll become a video vixen.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Christine
Skank: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer!
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Skye
Ditz: Supposably [sic], she’s going to be dancing in some Beyonce video. She’s so stupid.
–54th St between 9th & 10th
Media scholar: Well it’s different when the girl getting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15.
–20th & 8th
Girl: What kind of fur can we use that is only shaved and doesn't hurt the animals, like shearling, and not skinned?
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Anonymous
Man to ladies: So, I walk in the room and I see one guy shaving the other guy's balls.
–Forest Hills, Queens
Overheard by: CandyPerfume
Guy to girl: I just shaved my balls and now I'm itching all over.
–Houston St
Overheard by: pubey-free
Man eating ice cream while trying to walk: Beanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeano.
–49th St and 7th Ave Station
Man dressed in green unitard, running in circles: Augghhhhhhhhhh!!! Aughhhhhhhhhh!! Aughhhhhhh!!!!
–Union Square
Moviegoer, after preview for The Blind Side: Blerrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (vomiting noises, then audience erupts in laughter)
–Regal Battery Park Stadium Movie Theater
Teenage boy, taking gum out of his pocket and looking at it: Scrotum! (puts gum back in pocket and walks away)
–95th St & Madison
Overheard by: Confused
Conductor: Ladies in gentlemen, we would be moving, but there's a bitch-ass 5 train ahead hogging all the customers at 59th St.
–4 Express Train
Overheard by: Lexington
Conductor: Once again, there are no 2 or 3 trains from this station, so if you are looking for anything, don't get off the train, coz it's not gonna be there.
–Downtown 4 Train
Overheard by: Donz
Conductor: Okay, raise your hand if you want to leave!
–7 Train
Overheard by: will it help if I put two hands up?
Conductor: Do not get on this train. It is not taking any passengers, not even one. Do not even try, you will get kicked off.
–Fordham Rd, Bronx
Overheard by: The next train isn't for an hour and I'm already late.
Conductor: Attention, passengers… You cannot use chemical solvents on the train.
–NJ Transit
Conductor: The next stop will be Bryant Park, #2nd Street. What a gorgeous day! Why not take advantage of one of New York City's many fine outdoor eateries. Have you heard the one about the monk and the hot dog vendor? Hot dog vendor: "What's it going to be, buddy?" Monk: "Make me one with everything"! This is Bryant Park, 42nd Street. Have an enlightened day!
–F Train
