NYU girl: Grande dirty chai with five shots of espresso.
Barista: You wanna die, bitch?
–Starbucks
NYU girl: Grande dirty chai with five shots of espresso.
Barista: You wanna die, bitch?
–Starbucks
Woman on cell: He was here for ten days and he only touched my boobs twice!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: and my girlfriend would be upset if it were 10 minutes
Old thug passing three fat chicks on their way to a club: Explosion of titties!
–Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn
Hipster barista guy: A boob is just a moisturized bag of skin, seriously!
–Think Coffee
Overheard by: its to early for this conversation
Full-on punk guy: Dude! Shit is so good! I just want someone to squirt tahini all over my tits!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Dahlia
Girl on phone: Wait! What? No! Well, I do shit a lot. But I don't want to shit my boobs away!
–Times Square
Woman to waiter: Oh my god! I left my mink stole here. Oh please don't let it be gone. (goes to table, finds stole) Oh, thank god I found my mink stole and no one took it!
Woman at next table: Oh, please, bitch, ain't nobody want your German Shepherd!
–The Diner Restaurant, Midtown
Guy to girl: You're going to regret it for the rest of your life if you get the wrong salad.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Slender waitress to two large customers: Make sure you finish *all* of that! Especially the celery. That's my favorite part! (they look in disgust)
–Applebee's, Astoria
Yoga clothes-clad girl, loudly to friend: It is not a vegetable. It's a legume!
–6th Ave & W 12th St
Man to woman: So I sayz, "Lady, you're my cuppa tea alright, but I like the occasional cucumber, if you know what I'm sayin'…"
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Mira
Gay guy: I saw people coming out of the woods and I was like, "Aghhh! Corn children!"
–8th & 45th
Overheard by: i'd be scared, too
Sarah Jessica Parker's son: Do you know what kind of lettuce she likes?
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Brooke
Hobo with guitar, singing: My girl! That white girl is my girl! She may look like Brooke Shields but she's my girl! My girl! Oooh-ooh… Come on, everybody, sing with me, Puerto Ricans, too!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Tater
Drunk Puerto Rican father to man on train, yelling: The capital of Puerto Rico is the Bronx, bitch!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Alice Dalice
Guy, about some girls: I tried to tell them I was Puerto Rican, but they kept saying I was from Spain and called me a douchebag.
–East Village
Overheard by: NYCGlamDiva
Diner waitress: Just because he's Puerto Rican don't mean he's a cheetah.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: monkey girl
Asian girl to Hispanic guy: Come on! She's, like, the Puerto Rico of Asia!
–Jamba Juice, Mercer & Houston
Guy on cell: How can you be happy if you're acting like such a bitch all time?
–Melrose Ave & 154th St
Puerto Rican barista, as A-Team music starts playing: The A-Team! Man, that makes me think of when I was young and still happy!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Chris K.
30-something woman: I'm going to see Transformers. Transformers! Daa naa na naaa! You have to be happy in life, everybody is dying.
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Frank Molla
Girl on cell, vehemently: I'm trying brown eyeliner. I hope this makes you happy!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ashley
20-something girl: Just put some alcohol in me and I'll be happy.
–St. Mark's Place
Professor, seriously: Were you involved in the jelly bean incident?
–Physics Hallway, Trinity School
Overheard by: Siena
CSR: Stale peeps are excellent! Now, that is one finely-aged peep.
–Hudson & Houston
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Man to friends sitting on bench: You either look at the girl or you look at the ice cream!
–Outside Sundaes & Cones, 10th & 3rd
Overheard by: The Girl Anonymous
Cheerful gift shop clerk on phone: So I got my peanut buttercups and then Anne* saw me on the street and came up to me, and punched me in the face and was all "Give me a peanut buttercup!" and I said "but there are only two in the package and I was saving one for Robert*!" Then she punched me in the face again!
–The Cloisters
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Greek waitress: Ice cream without whipped cream is like… girl without boyfriend!
–Diner, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Drunk 20-something girl: Can I get fries for four dollars? I have four dollars. I need fries.
Waiter: No.
Sober 20-something homeless guy: I'll buy you fries.
Drunk 20-something girl: Oh my god, you're such a lifesaver. Do you want some weed?
–Diner, 14th St & 6th Ave
20-something female on cell: But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
–23rd St & 5th Ave
Customer, after placing order: …with hardboiled eggs.
Gay waiter: Hardboiled eggs smell like dirty assholes, an I've seen a few dirty assholes.
–Denny's
Overheard by: student-19
Preppy guy on cell: No, dude! I don't know, like…like really dirty girls.
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Anne
12-year-old boy to mother: The bum, you know! The dirty man that plays with me.
–Forest Parkway
Overheard by: Jason A
Guy dancing on new lawn: This isn't even good grass! It's dirty, yo!
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Hobo: Do you have a small sample?
Barista #1: We're not giving out any samples.
Hobo: Do you have a cup?
(barista hands him a cup, hobo starts to walk to back of store)
Barista #2: Sir, where are you going?
Hobo: To the bathroom.
Barista #2: We don't have a bathroom.
Hobo: Can I have some water?
Barista #2: No! And do not come back here! Have a nice day!
–Starbucks, Penn Station
Overheard by: BK
