What's That Supposed to Mean?

Obese Midwestern tourist: So are we gonna go get that falafel thing?
Other Midwestern tourist: Well, if we're gonna go to Hooters we don't need to get the falafel thing.
Obese Midwestern tourist: Why not? I could eat both.
Other Midwestern tourist: Do you know what a falafel thing is?
Obese Midwestern tourist: It's like ice cream.
Other Midwestern tourist: Oh, really? I thought that was gelato.
Obese Midwestern tourist: No, dumbass.
Other Midwestern tourist: Okay, well I guess you'd know…

–7 Train

Overheard by: Caitlin

Posted on June 18, 2018
Ethnic Food, Fat People, Food, Insults, Midwesterners, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity

Finally My Friendship with You Begins to Pay Off

Skinny girl: I ate the whole bag.
Fat girl: I know.
Skinny girl: But, like… The whole bag.
Fat girl: I know… If it makes you feel any better, I had fried chicken wings and chocolate cake on Friday.
Skinny girl: … Yeah, that does make me feel better.

–Pratt Institute

Posted on May 14, 2018
Anorexic, College, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Food, Friends, Girls, Junk Food & Fast Food

This Pony Keg Is Due Any Day Now

Lady: Sir, this woman is very pregnant. Please give her your seat.
Fat man: Yeah, well, I’m very fat, and that’s basically the same thing.

–4 train

Posted on April 8, 2018
Fat People, On the Subway, Philosophy

Wednesday One-Liners! They're Just Like Us!

Creepy dad, cheerfully, to seven-year-old daughter: There's only one Lindsay Lohan!

–Downtown 1 train

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Jewish girl to friend: You know how ever since I got my shnoz done people tell me I look like Amy Winehouse?

–116th St & Broadway

Crazy black guy on bus, to no one in particular: Derek Jeter looks just like Robert Deniro, man… Just like him!

–N6 Bus

Overheard by: looks like paris hilton?

Larger reporter: I'm not going to save clothes that fit me before I gained weight in case I lose it. If I lose weight, I'm going to buy some new damn clothes. I don't want to wear stuff from 1987. I'll look stupid, I'll look like Mischa Barton.

–Midtown Office

Overheard by: you wont be mischa's size

Hipster girl to friend: I mean, I really like him… But he thinks River Phoenix is a place.

–East Village

Posted on March 31, 2018
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Bus, Clothing, Columbia, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Creepsters, Dads, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Global Geography, Hipsters, JAPs, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Names, Nose Job, Offers and requests, Office, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Passengers, Physical appearance, Shopping, Street, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires

Being Scared of Rosie Makes Plenty of Sense

Girl: I always thought she was a cool girl and she kind of intimidated me. I know that makes no sense, because–
Queer: –because she’s a fat lesbian?

–Horatio & Hudson

Overheard by: Shane

Posted on February 26, 2018
C-List, Fat People, Fears, Lesbians, Queer guys, West Village

Dude, You Totally Just Lost Your New Hag

Fat chick on cell: Well, it kind of sucks because the subway is
like two avenue blocks away and–
Queer passerby: And there’s no Krispy Kreme in between?

–Astoria

Posted on February 25, 2018
Astoria, Comebacks, Fat People, Food, Gripes, On Cell, Queer guys

Janie Got a Wednesday One-Liner

Voice over employee's walkie-talkie: Okay, I really need those guns. Anyone who has one, I need it down in bridal.

–Bed Bath & Beyond

Obnoxious woman: So I said, "motherfucker, I'm not your sister–I'm your cousin. So I will shoot you."

–Uptown 2 Train

Large black man: If you ain't got no bullets, you gotsta melee!

–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Zach

Wannabe hip-hopper, trying to sell CD: It's clean music, and I ain't never shot no one!

–Union Square

20-something guy on cell: They got no right to bring up that gun charge, it's over ten years old!

–19th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Emily Davidson

Dude, after chatting to policewoman: I just have a thing for women in uniform! My mind says, "no, no, settle down," and my penis says, "but she's got a gun!"

–Hudson & Laight

Posted on December 29, 2017
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, Cops, Family Ties, Fat People, Guys, Insults, Marriage, Men, Musicians, On Cell, On the Subway, Penis, Shoot, Singing, Store, Street, Threats, Time, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weapons, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-liners Are a Matter of Opinion

Ethan Hawke: Man, everybody’s fat.

–Employees Only, Hudson St

Overheard by: molly

Guy on cell: But you’re not fat in America!

–Ozzie’s Coffee III, 5th Ave, Park Slope

Posted on December 13, 2017
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Celebrities, Celebrities Overheard, Diet/Weight, Fat People, History & Geography, On Cell, Park Slope, People, Places, Restaurants & Cafes, Topics, Venues, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

These People Really Do Exist in New York…

A fat Italian “businessman” in a Members Only jacket is standing on the corner talking to 2 other fat Italian guys. An SUV drives by, honks the horn twice, and then speeds off. The “businessman” turns around quickly and loudly yells: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Fuckin’ faggot.

–LES

Posted on October 25, 2017
Fat People, Foreigners, Insults, Lower East Side

My Parents Had to Roll Me to Preschool

Heavy ghetto girl after being weighed: 195!
Friend: Daaaaaamn. I'm 150.
Heavy ghetto girl: I've been 195 since I was five.
Friend: Damn, girl.

–CCNY Wellness Center

Overheard by: voluptuousgrl

Posted on October 4, 2017
Age/Aging, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Hospitals

Fat People