Chick: There are so many homeless people around today. Like they’ve come out of hibernation or something.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: isabelle
Chick: I hate this museum. It’s filled with stuffed monkeys who all look like they’re crying.
–D train at 81st St, Natural History Museum
Young lady: Stupid people have more fun!
–Chrystie & Housten
Overheard by: Probably True…
Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Would the street be safer?
Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit.
–Duane Reade
Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid.
–Inwood
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect!
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Katface
Matt Dillon: This theatre has awful feng shui.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Mother to five-year-old daughter: That's why she's a very smart woman. She married a very rich man for exactly that reason.
–University Place &10th St
Overheard by: evanescent
Homeless man to little boy with parents: Ask your mama why she marry your daddy. She'll tell you it was for the money.
–Statue of Liberty
Sorority girl to another: So like, do you think Brad makes good investments?
–53rd & 1st
Asian girl on cell: It's like I have a sign that says "trophy wife" written across my forehead, and then they find out I'm 22 and the sign is suddenly in neon.
–Tribeca
Girl on cell: No, you remember, I'm going to be a gold-digger! It's like a hooker, but smarter.
–NYU Classroom
Guy to friend: Oowee! Some weed and a perm! That's my perfect New York day.
–West Village
Overheard by: Joe
Conductor: Step in, stand clear…let's go New York!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ashley Nelson
Intoxicated creepster: Are we in Manhattan? What the hell! This city is so full of New Yorkers!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Lizzzzz
Bitter man on subway: I think one summer here would cure them of any love they have for this town.
–1 Train
Passerby to surprised-looking wife, watching fight: They're fighting. It's New York, that's what people do in this city.
–City Hall
Overheard by: ascorbique & almost famous
Grinning paramedic to female tourist in shock, strapping her to backboard after she was struck by a car: Welcome to New York!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Mateo que Feo
White college girl: I would definitely want to be a doctor, if I didn't have to go to medical school.
–Fordham University
Nurse to another: Well, it seems that the themes of the day were UTIs and pregnancies.
–NYU Student Health Center
Overheard by: had neither
Black male pre-teen to mother: I know all about doctors, 'cause I watch shows about that. (pause) Actually, I watch Dr Phil.
–1 Train
Guy to two girls: I had to fire my doctor, I didn't like what he told me.
–39th & Lexington
Doctor, drawing on napkin and displaying results to student: This is you…in 40 years, in a fugue state. In Turkey. Dissociative fugue–learn neurology!
–168th & Fort Washington
Gay guy to passersby: Spare an asshole for a gay man?
–Union Square
Man to woman: It's not that I'm an asshole; I just don't want to be seen with you.
–Bar, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Eric
Hipster chic: You could fit a globe in your asshole, it's so big.
–Bedford Ave & 3rd St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: letthemusicplayy
Woman, answering cell: Hey, asshole!
–Rite Aid, Grand Central
Large bald man on Bluetooth: He got a fuckin' boo boo, that's all!
–Gramercy
Suit on cell: So, I haven't been electrocuted…yet.
–L Train
Elderly woman: I regret that she broke her arm. I do not regret pushing her down the stairs.
–E Train
Overheard by: Pat
Little boy: I hope the boo-boo goes away soon! My staple won't hold that long!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Say what?
Guy on train to friend: Hey, would you still date a girl if she was in an industrial accident and had to wear a Darth Vader suit forever?
–6 Train
White guy on cell: Look, he was tried by a jury of his peers, they were all white, and they let him off.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: riptorn
Enthusiastic 20-something: Oh, is that ciabatta? Yummy! Whenever I see ciabatta, my pussy starts to swell!
–Broadway & 13th
Random passerby: He wants a vagina. In and around his mouth.
–The Village
Cute NYU blonde: He won't like, touch my vagina with his hands. That means he's gay, right?
–Mercury Lounge, LES
Drunk Latina to drunk white girl whose boyfriend stepped out to get a paper bag: Girl, just tell him to take you home. Tell him you want to sleep tonight. Tell him your pussy is closed!
–McDonald's, 14th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: ehka
Girl in gym: Everything on my body is flaccid, except my vagina.
–Fordham Gym
