We'd Like to Thank Wednesday One-Liner for This Emmy

Chick to friend: I've been really committed to learning about Jesus lately. Can you believe how crazy it is that Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights? I mean, like, no food or water for that long? Crazy! I mean, I never even realized how crazy it was until I saw David Blaine do it.

–R Train

Dreaded hobo, evangelizing: You gotta be able to suck dick to accept the love of Jesus Christ!

–40th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: melissa

Dude: It's not gay if it's Jesus!

–Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ladle

Fat Christian evangelist to another: Jesus had the computer technology to manipulate the atoms of water. That's why he could walk over the waves. That's how we convince the atheists.

–Union Square

Overheard by: smoking on the stoop

Hipster on cell: My aunt got a promotion at work. She's a big deal. If this were the bible, she would be Jesus' nephew.

–17th St & Broadway

Posted on March 3, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Christianity, Christians, Compare/Contrast, Computer, Crazies, Education, Fat People, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Hobos, Jesus, Jobs & Careers, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Science, Street, Stupidity, Time, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesnogsday One-Liners

White male to group of friends: I thought she was really into me… Then I turned around and she was kissing Mary.

–Pace University

Girl to boyfriend kissing her hand: Are you kissing my hand or wiping your nose?

–Central Park

Young boy to friend: Wow, lesbians kissing! I've only seen that on the internet!

–Grand Central Station

Black man to two men and two women making out indiscriminately: I thought all y'alls was gay, but now y'alls kissin' each other. I don't know what to think.

–Splash Bar

Posted on March 3, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Body Parts, Boys, Central Park, College, Couples, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Grand Central, Guys, Internet, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Sexuality, Strangers, Train Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

The Best Part Is, She Means an Ice Cream Sundae.

Girl, loudly in silent computer lab: Is Sunday one word or two?
Friend, avoiding glares from students around the lab: One?
Girl, showing friend Word document with “sun day” written in it: It doesn't say that I'm spelling it wrong!

–Computer Lab, Columbia University

Posted on March 1, 2010
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Friends, Girls, Questions, Stupidity, Words

Dude, I'm Gay, but I'm Not That Gay

Bar guy #1: Wow, we gotta thank Jeff for all of this.
Bar guy #2: Yeah, we'll give him a blowjob later.

–Astoria

Overheard by: EchoNYC

Posted on February 28, 2010
Astoria, BJs, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gifts

At Least This One Didn't Point a Finger in My Face and Say, “You're Doomed! Doomed!!”

Lost Russian woman: Excuse me, does this stop at Pring Street?
Teenager: What? Oh, you mean “Spring Street.” Yeah. Just stay on the train.
(woman walks away)
Teenager to friend: What the fuck? That's like the third one this week! Am I like an old Russian woman magnet or something?

–N Train

Posted on February 28, 2010
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Directions, Foreigners, Friends, Insults, Names, On the Subway, Only in New York, Public Transportation, Questions, Teens

Cuticle Porn's Kind Of a Niche Market

Girl #1: Anyone want to get a manicure? James?
Gay friend: Ha ha!
Girl #2: My dad gets manicures.
Girl #1: So does mine.
Girl #2: My dad's in sales, so he has to have nice hands.
Girl #1: My dad works at home. In porn!

–3rd Ave & 14th St

Posted on February 23, 2010
Body Parts, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Laughter, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Physical appearance, Porn, Queer guys

That's What They Have Instead Of Homosexuality

Man, loudly: It's been a long time since I fucked a racehorse.
Man's friend, reassuringly, to surprised bystanders: He's Irish.

–36th St & Madison

Overheard by: Bystanding Citizen

Posted on February 21, 2010
Animals & Nature, Beastiality, Foreigners, Friends, Language Barrier, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Sex, Time, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liner Is the Second-Largest Property Owner in NYC, After the Catholic Church

Columbia student to another: When I get rich, I'm totally having the sweat glands in my armpits removed.

–Columbia University

Undergrad to friend: So I should tell you about today's existential crisis…

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Katie Naum

Guy to group of friends: Hey, you guys ever watch that video in health ed, of disabled people having sex? It was upsetting.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: L-Dubbs

Columbia undergrad: I am taking so many classes right now, like 18 credits, cause I have no clue what to do with my life. Part of me wants to go to business school here because I can make a lot of money fast, and part of me wants to go to law school here because it's more practical and will make me more over the long run. But then I am also in this class on genocide, which is a topic I love. So maybe I will do something with that instead.

–Max Cafe, 122nd & Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: reluctantprof