Tall long-haired, bearded man getting on bus through rear doors: Jesus on the bus!
(ten minutes later, as he gets off bus) Jesus walking!
–125th St, Harlem
Overheard by: Jonesy
Tall long-haired, bearded man getting on bus through rear doors: Jesus on the bus!
(ten minutes later, as he gets off bus) Jesus walking!
–125th St, Harlem
Overheard by: Jonesy
Man on cell: You know I can't come over, I'm a daddy now! I have a dog! He needs me 24/7. I can't leave his sight, not even for a second! I'm just out for a moment to buy him some food, but other than that…
–Crosstown Bus
Souvenir seller: Get your doggy diary! Get your puppy program! Get your beagle bible! Get your bulldog blog!
–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden
Man at payphone: They tried to catch the hero dog, but he ran away.
–107 & West End
Overheard by: kdub
Half tone-deaf guy with guitar, singing: I'll marry you for your Green card, but I'll sleep with your sister cause she's prettier than you. She's 75 years old, never been touched by a man, let alone a dog…
–1 Train
Overheard by: CreateEvity
Man leaning out of car, to man walking Schnauzer: Excuse me…that's a Marmaduke?
–3rd Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jeff S.
Woman on cell: If I don't get a dog soon I'm totally going to get pregnant.
–Wall Street
Young hipster to friend: Remember when we sat there, I was high on Vicodin and we saw that guy take a shit in the fountain?
–Union Square Greenmarket
Rich woman yelling on phone: I don't care about your stupid laws or ethics or whatever. (pause) No, I pay you too much money not to get the goddamn drugs I want. (pause) Just write the fucking prescriptions and send them! What the fuck kind of drug dealing doctor are you?
–Metro North Train
Loud lady on cell on escalator: I'm on all these medications you're not supposed to be on when you're pregnant!
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Visiting Kiran
Jock: Nothing's as bad as being allergic to Viagra, man!
–NYU Bus
Lady of indeterminate age: A craving is just a thought on steroids.
–26th st & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Lucky Gunther
Obese woman to male friend: I need to get some Viagra from my dad.
–17th St & 8th Ave
Preppy girl: Oh my god! I swear, she's like the biggest prep I have ever seen in my entire life!
Man, sitting down: I got my share of irony for today.
–Q16 Bus
Headline by: EddieA
Runners-Up:
· “And I Didn’t Have to Wait for the L or the J” – Elsie Norma
· “And I Haven’t Even Been to Williamsburg Yet” – Kaitlen
· “Beats the Shit Out Of That Whole “Black Fly in Your Chardonnay” Thing” – mac
· “It’s Because She’s Blind, Right?” – tatts
· “Take THAT Alanis Morissette” – my meter’s pegged
· “That Day Bob Realized He Didn’t Need the Supplements After All” – subtleglow
· “Yeah, but She Had TWO Sweaters Over Her Shoulders” – Mary
· “You Need to Build Up Hipster-Level Tolerances to Handle Stuff Like This” – Jeff
Old man #1: You've seen that guy at the deli. You see behind the counter? The guy's only wearing one glove. Now you can't do all your work with one hand, can you? The lord gave you two for a reason.
Old man #2: Only one man can do magic with one glove. That's Michael Jackson.
Old man #1: And his magic done run out.
–M10 Bus
Overheard by: Alexandra
Girl #1: So I texted everyone and told them he was gay, but no one believed me.
Girl #2: Of course he's gay. You used to date him.
–M-15 Bus
Overheard by: peter
College guy: I read in an article that strippers in the city are losing work.
College girl: Oh, I didn't hear about that. I heard that bankers are losing their jobs. I didn't think strippers would ever lose their jobs.
–M4 Bus
Girlfriend: So, can I pull it out now?
Boyfriend: I don't know…
Girlfriend: C'mon, I wanna pull it out now.
Boyfriend: I guess, but I don't know that you'll be able to find it.
Girlfriend: Nah, I bet it'll just pop right back out.
Boyfriend: Okay, you can pull it out.
–Q46 Bus
Overheard by: Cori
Bouncer on phone: I don't care if they is balding, got big guts or little dicks!
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: chiddox
Flaming gay man to lover: You have a small dick that never gets erect, and you are not in my will!
–Avenue St John & Kelly Streets, Bronx
Overheard by: Li'l Squeaker
Hobo: Stop controlling my eyeballs to look at your dick!
–Times Square
30-something man: Waaaaait, did they say "dick in cider" or "dick inside her"?
–7th St & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Juicy
High school kid: I wish I had two dicks. (pause) So both of my hands have something to do in class.
–Q27 Bus Stop
Overheard by: cough.cough.cough
Woman on phone: It's not about you, it's about your small dick.
–Times Square
Girl to friend: So you're going to tutor his dick, right?
–University & 10th St
Random guy to everyone nearby: Yes, you are sexier than Conor Oberst–all of you.
–McCarren Park
Overheard by: Chris K
Beer guy: I got sexy beer for sexy people! Beer so cold it talks back to you! If you don't drink beer, you die!
–Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Damn, I'd better by a beer…
Little boy in preppy school uniform to Asian teenage girl: Mmmmmmm…I like sexy girls. I like them a loooot. (takes out imaginary cell phone) Mmmm, mmhmm…I'd like that. Ohhh.
–M1 Bus
Hobo to guy carrying mirror: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the sssssexiest of 'em all?
–13th & 5th
Freshman to group of friends: Yo, when Jack* first got his hair cut it looked mad weird, but now it looks mad sexy, no homo. It kind of looks like the Jonas Brothers.
–Bard High School Early College
Columbia girl: She was sexy, but she shouldn't have done that. That's so Adam Smith.
–1 train
Overheard by: EthanK
