Have You Seen Wednesday? It's Totally Had Its One-Liners Done.

Woman on cell: I can't believe no one said anything… How could no one notice? It used to be sooooo crooked, and I spend all this money to get my nose fixed, and no one says anything?

–Norfolk & Houston

50-year-old lady: So are you still down for the Brazilian wax?

–45th & Broadway

Overheard by: Chuch

Little girl, pointing at someone having their eyebrows threaded: Look! They're sewing that woman's face!

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: kenzi

Orange lady: Is it like you definitely, for sure get cancer from a tanning bed? Cause then I might stop.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Alexis

Posted on May 4, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Cancer, Kids, Lower East Side, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Nose Job, On Cell, One-liners, Park Slope, Physical appearance, Questions, Street, Union Square and East Village, Waxing, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, Instead

Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same.

–Wall St.

Overheard by: krazyhippie

Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not!

–10th St & FDR

20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy.

–W 19th & 5th Ave

Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!"

–Mercer & W 3rd

Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.

–171st St & Broadway

Overheard by: The Low Hat

Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high.

–PATH Station

Overheard by: smjcnj

30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: The Evil Triangle

Posted on February 14, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Colors, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Drugs, Elevators, Fat People, Friends, Gadgets, Girls, Guys, Insults, Internet, Latinos, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Relationships, Street, The Village, Train Station, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Wednesday One-Liners With Teardrop Tattoos

Tall thug to another: Yo,… I love jail food!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Never had it

Dad to overly excited daughter: Yes, you can tell your mom you went in the bouncy castle in front of the prison.

–Atlantic & Smith

Screaming four-year-old to mom: Are you going to put me in jail?

–Q Train

Young mother to baby, pinching his cheeks: Daddy's in prison! Prisonprisonprisonprisonprison!

–Jackson Heights, Queens

Overheard by: Giving up all hope Newsbunny

Posted on February 11, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Crime and Punishment, Dads, Family Ties, Food, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Prison, Queens, Questions, Street, Thugs, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Itching, Burning, Flaking Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to friend: I told him you had fucking mad STDs because he said he wanted to fuck you. (pause) You're welcome!

–Washington Square Park

Suit exiting cab: Yo, make sure you don't give him your number. He's got crabs.

–30th Ave & 30th St, Astoria

Overheard by: OhKellyO

Blonde 20-something on phone: Either the universe just proved there is no god, or he is a motherfucking cunt! (pauses, then in low tone) Because… I think I have herpes.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: close enough to hear the herpes part

Thug to thugette: I didn't have warts on my body till I met you.

–Metro North

Overheard by: baconista

Guy on cell, leaning casually against fire hydrant: Hey, so, I just got my test results back, and… uh… so I got herpes. So… maybe you should get yourself tested. (pause) No, no, no. No. No! Dammit, Jessica, listen, I… fuck. Sorry, Jennifer. No, I–no, I'm sorry, I've just been making this call a lot today. (pause) Hello?

–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Kytt

Posted on January 30, 2019
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Astoria, Battery Park, Brooklyn, Friends, Friendship, Girls, God, Guys, Insults, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Promiscuity, Relationships, Science, Sex, STDs, Street, Suits, Thugs, Trains Not Subway, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Looked Better in the Previews

Husky unshaved guy to younger girlfriend: You mean you never saw Animal House? You're not human!

–Lower West Side

Thug to another: Jabba the Hutt? That's like some Tony Soprano shit, nigga. And the spices? That's drugs. Star Wars drugs!

–13th St & University

Overheard by: Jaimie

Girl to friends: My English teacher said Precious is "whack."

–City Cinemas, E 86th St

Stuffy Bulgarian professor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It's very funny, right?

–NYU

Overheard by: really glad I got up before 9:30 for this

Girl on cell: Yeah, after that movie, I'm gonna think all adopted kids are evil dwarfs with a hormone imbalance.

–Columbus Circle

Posted on January 24, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Drugs, Film, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Handicaps, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Movie Theaters, Movies, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Street, Teachers/Professors, The Village, Thugs, TV, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Words

Oh my god! Oh my god! Not even close!

Tourist lady: Oh my god! Oh my god! That’s ground zero!

–Construction site, 42nd & 6th

Posted on January 12, 2019
Ground Zero, Street, Stupidity, Tourists

Is It Sick That I Wednesday on Their One-Liners?

Guy on phone: It's probably something beyond the bestiality in why you didn't get hired.

–4th & Lafayette

Overheard by: andy

Disembodied voice in crowd: Necrophilia, really?

–Times Square

Man: The thing is: my safety word is "No, harder, harder."

–NY Comic Con

Girl: No, seriously, my parents used to have like a harness and a leash for me, because I used to run away in the airport all the time.

–Fordham Law School

Girl to friend: Hot wax and genitals…either very good, or very, very bad.

–1st Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: Will

Guy: Great. She doesn't even know me and already she thinks I have a produce fetish.

–Whole Foods, Chelsea

Overheard by: Hunter (aka,

Posted on January 9, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beastiality, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Fordham, Friends, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Parents, Private Parts, S&M, Sex, Street, The Village, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Waxing, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Whole Foods, Words

I'm Too Sexy for My Wednesday One-Liners.

Comedian guy with flyer: Girl, you have some sexy nostrils!

–Broadway

Gay man to another: Next Halloween I am going to be a sexy tub of lard.

–Broadway & Spring

20-something hot girl on cell: So, like, Kristin was supposed to go as a water-boarding torture victim, which is hilarious, but then, she like, um, shows up as a *sexy* water-boarding torture victim, which is better than being, like, all gross and frumpy. But come on… that's not funny.

–Q Train

Creepy old man: When I was was a kid… Coney Island was hot! I mean "sexy." I mean it was… Bam!

–Neptune Ave

Overheard by: taylor

Girl on cell: It's really not like a sexy stabbing.

–Centre St

Posted on December 21, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Creepsters, Flyer people, Food, Girls, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nostalgia, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Soho, Stab, Strangers, Street, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Words

We Were, and We’ve Overheard Quite Enough

Preppy guy #1: I want to go to my country house this weekend.
Preppy guy #2: I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to my beach house with me.
Preppy guy #1: …Listen to this conversation we’re having right now.

–26th & Lexington

Overheard by: raic

Posted on December 19, 2018
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Preppies, Street

Wednesday One-Liners for Diane Keaton

Straight guy in hot pink underwear: Yeah, I've fallen asleep in deer stands, and all kinds of weird places.

–Gold's Gym, 54th St

Overheard by: Johnny V

Girl on cell: His hair is wiry and weird. He had a party and sold raffle tickets, the winner got to restyle his hair. He's weird.

–1 Train

Overheard by: whirlygirlie518

White teen girl to friends: No, no, no! I told you guys, if I marry a Japanese, then there's all that weird sex stuff. I'm marrying Korean. They're adorable, and don't have that weird communism thing the Chinese do.

–Chinatown

Girl from Nashville on cell: They serve like weird pasta here with weird vegetables and weird meat. My favorite meal here is breakfast. I am so ready to go home!

–LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: D-Law

Posted on December 4, 2018
Airports, All Wednesday One-Liners, Celebrations/Parties, Chinatown, Food, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Guys, Gyms, Hair, Home, Sweet Home, LaGuardia Airport, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Politics, Southerners, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

Street