White man: That hot chocolate slowed my cognitive functioning.
Black woman: Better slow than fast minute-man honky.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: chinese new year
White man: That hot chocolate slowed my cognitive functioning.
Black woman: Better slow than fast minute-man honky.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: chinese new year
Worker, waiting in salad line: Ma'am, may I have your bowl?
Woman: Sorry, but no. I only let him toss my salad.
(everyone stares)
–Lexington & 40th St
Man to woman pushing button for lower floor: We're going up.
Woman: Oh my god! How do I get down?
Man: Well, the elevator comes back down once it gets up to the top, it doesn't just circle.
–Elevator, 1 Battery Park Plaza
Overheard by: shmarls
Crazy lady: Excuse me, excuse me, white faced nigga bitch?
White girl: What?
Crazy lady: What? You ain't never seen a zebra?
–Rockaway Park
70-year-old lady to hot chick: It's so nice to be sitting next to somebody skinny!
Hot chick: Eh…
–1 Train
Overheard by: I'm skinny too….
Woman to friend: Look, I just don't want to be born again, okay? I saw how you attacked that Jewish woman in the airport.
–Broadway & 10th St
Overheard by: Stephanie
Patron: Jews for Jesus are just reformed black panthers.
–Turkish Kitchen, 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Pola
Student who has just drawn a stereotypical Jew to another who has drawn Jesus on the cross: Wait–wait, Jesus was Jewish?
–Bronx High School Of Science, Judaic Cultural Society
Girl at birthday supper: I get all Jewish and entitled when anyone tries to tell me "no!"
–8th Ave & 43rd St
Overheard by: Lankyguy
Jock to another: And then he like tried to fuck me. I guess that's what I get for spending the night at a dude's house. I mean he was Jewish and all, so he was really nice but still…
–23rd St & Lexington
Gluttony
Cashier lady: Damn, thank the Lord it's Friday! I'ma go to the heights and get me some margaritas and some quesadittas and get drunk and fat and happy. Damn!
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Sam
Lust
Woman to male friend: Oh, that sucks! I'm such a whore…
–5th Ave & 12th St
Greed
Teenager on school field trip eating sushi and talking to chaperon: Daddy, can I borrow some money for the gift shop? My credit card is down to its last $200.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art Cafe
Sloth
Hipster, seeing that there was construction on the train: Ugh, what are we–going to have to walk places now?
–L Train
Wrath
Library staff: Group study room people, we know who you are. Because we have your IDs. Please come downstairs and pick them up so we don't have to unleash our wrath on you.
–Brooklyn College Library
Envy
Two woman walking tall dog: I mean… can you believe that I used to carry him in my Givenchy bag and wrap him in cashmere as a puppy? I would be jealous!
–Bleecker & Spring
Pride
Girl, grabbing her ass: Don't you just love my ass? My ass rocks. I love my ass!
–Battery Park
Train conductor: This is New York Penn Station. New York Penn. For those of you who are just waking up, this is Penn Station. If you are supposed to get off at New York Penn, wake up and get off now! (train leaves) Those of you who are just waking up: if you were supposed to get off at New York Penn Station, you just missed it! I told you to get up!
–Amtrak Train
College guy: Last night I woke up on an oriental rug and I had no idea where I was.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Hispanic lady: Quiet down, some people are trying to sleep!
–6 Train
Man to friend: She can sleep in the closet.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Wait what?
Loud pharmaceutical salesman to doctor: They say that New York is the city that never sleeps, right? You know why? You know why? Herpes!
–Doctor's Office, Astoria
Woman on cell: So I walked into a room and she's there, chained to a chair. And he had a gun, pointing it at me, saying he was gonna shoot me. Then I started crying. And he fucking shot her. (people on bus look worried) And then I woke up.
–M4 Bus
Overheard by: trev
Professor: I don't know why any of us are here… It's gorgeous out and there are very lovely ladies wearing minimal clothing!
–NYU
Overheard by: Ginger
College girl in short skirt to friend: My ass feels naked and exposed, that's how I feel.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Man to woman: She's really starting to perfect the "slutty flight attendant" look.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Glory
Woman, with pride: My gynecologist wears leather mini skirts and platform shoes!
–Park Slope
Female suit: I am the worst lawyer ever. That's why I dress like a slut. I always win.
–L Train
Tourist, looking at buildings across from Central Park: So which one is the Statue of Liberty?
–Columbus Circle
Girl: Are pork chops made of lamb?
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Nora Claire
Girl to bouncer at bar: Does this place have really awesome bathrooms?
–East Village
Overheard by: bb
Tourist: Is Chinatown closed?
–Canal St
Overheard by: Kristen
Hippie at exhibit for world's most extreme animals: Are they alive?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Lady on cell: Times Square's where that ball is, right?
–42nd St & 6th St
Overheard by: tourists rock
Guy: What is this? So I sign up and get a free beer?
–Designated Driver Booth, Citi Field
Overheard by: AJ
