Drunk girl sitting on steps: The Hudson is better then the East River right?
Guy: What?
Drunk girl: Yeah, it definitely is… There's less dead bodies in it.
–Hudson River Boat Basin
Drunk girl sitting on steps: The Hudson is better then the East River right?
Guy: What?
Drunk girl: Yeah, it definitely is… There's less dead bodies in it.
–Hudson River Boat Basin
Preppy guy: This may be the last thing I say with my penis attached, but…
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Hunter
Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his penis is really important here, if his is better I'll take him!
–26th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: your mom
Asian guy: Everyone else was on the floor. Everyone had a penis in their face.
–D Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Girl on cell: All I'm saying is: don't jump on the first penis that comes along!
–Broadway
Boss, about weightlifting: My genitals were so inverted I used to crap my penis.
–5th Ave
Teacher: There are about six euphemisms for "penis" in the first scene!
–Junior High School
Overheard by: gabygrillz
Hobo to female passerby (singing): Pretty woman, walking down the street/Pretty woman, eating a hamburger…
–Wendy's, Union Square
Overheard by: Hungry Bystander
Salesgirl to another: You look pretty today…for a little Filipino girl.
–American Eagle, SoHo
Overheard by: Holly
Loud hobo walking through crowded train: Lots of beautiful ladies on this train. Beautiful white ladies. Beautiful black ladies. I like her hat. (turns to one shy-looking girl) Do you wear makeup? You shouldn't. You don't need it, you are so beautiful. If you have any makeup, just throw it away. Or send it to my girl, cuz she is ugly.
–Downtown 4 Train
50-something woman to pretty 20-something girl: I just wanted you to know that our husbands over there think you are one of the most beautiful girls they have ever seen. So now our husbands are going to have sex with my friend and I tonight. They may be thinking of you during, but thanks to you I am going to have an orgasm tonight, so thank you for being so gorgeous.
–Boat Basin Cafe
Overheard by: Megan W.
Guy on iPhone: You think because you're pretty you can get away with that shit. Well, you're wrong! You can get away with that shit because you're rich!
–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Man on cell: Yeah man, she is so not anyone that I would be willing to invest years in… I mean I don't want to have to spend my time actually working on it. I figured, hell, I kind of want to wake up next to someone a couple of days a week, so I might as well hang on through the summer. No, she has no idea…
–Columbus & 62nd St
Grad student: They have this symbiotic relationship in which he does all the eating and she does all the drinking.
–Columbia University
Woman to herself: God, I asked you for a good man; not a fucking joke!
–Spring & Hudson
Overheard by: Oscar Gamble
Firefighter to others: It's not that I have anything against commitment; I just like diversity.
–125th St Fairway
Overheard by: Just Shoppint
Man in shorts to another: I wouldn't date a girl with double vision, period.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Dr No-Eyes
Businesswoman to hobo: If you get back in the dating scene, I'll kill you.
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: Homeless guy must be hung
Queer, to his German Shepherd: Steven, don’t play these mind games with me!
–23rd & 8th
Man, restraining his dog from following another dog across the street: C’mon, buddy. It wasn’t meant to be.
–6th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Woman dragging her dog away from another dog who is barking frantically: You know what? You’re just cuter than her. That’s why she’s so upset.
–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: sara n.
Cop to his whining German Shepherd: Awww, what’s wrong baby? Did you see an asshole?
–West 4th Station
Man with beer #1: I love you, beer. You satisfy me in ways my wife never could.
Man with beer #2 to other man: You satisfy me in ways my wife never could…
–NJT to Penn Station
Overheard by: Geologist
Suit #1: Yeah, you know the San Andreas Fault?
Suit #2: What about it?
Suit #1: Well you know, dude, it's like the nation's asscrack.
–40th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Remind me not to live there…
Teen in sideways cap: I touched it, but I didn't like it.
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Student: Dude, I think I'm dyslexic with stairs.
–Stuyvesant High School
Teen, seriously: No… Webkinz are definitely a lot more high-maintenance then neopets.
–Downtown 6 Train
Teenage boy: I want to be a Senator or something like that. Like, the Government is the best place to have sex.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Punk teen to friends: Even though it seemed like she was into things, now she's not into anything.
–Union Square
Overheard by: i don't like stuff either
20 year-old guy: What if the afterlife and hell exists? I mean if it does, there has to be a society because billions of people would be there by now.
Friend: Yeah…
20 year-old: So that's a lot of people, like a society has to emerge since there can't be that many demons and torturers. You would have like a McDonald's and people working there. (pause) But you could be working there, and it could be every day for an eternity.
Friends: That's so much worse than hell.
–New Jersey Transit, Port Authority Bus Terminal
Big black man: It’s ok, I’m not a gangsta!
Nerdy white kid: Neither am I!
–Times Square
